Toman's Black Cat

To Fear and Hope Again

Yamagishi has been coming to visit me often, even though I told him he didn't have to. He is always so insistent, but I need to be more so.

When he came over today, I didn't let him in. I saw his eyes grow wide out of sadness, but I have to do this for him. "Yamagishi, you need to stop." I said quietly. "It isn't safe to be around me."

"You don't need to worry about me, my queen. I'll stay.."

"Yamagishi please!" I yelled out trying to make him see how serious I am. When he was silent, I continued. "What am I supposed to do if you get hurt, huh? It's one thing if it's me. I can take it. I can take it if it's just me. If it's Emma, or Mikey, or you..I'd die 'Gishi so please...just go."

Before I could close the door, he put his foot in the way. I wanted to cry out in frustration until I saw drops landing on the shoe blocking my door from closing.

My eyes shot up to his face. He wasn't looking at me but I felt it. He was crying. I made him cry.

I have to let him go.

"No." He said softly.

I should let him go.

"I won't leave you alone. Not now, not ever."

I need to let him go.

"I'm not Mikey, but I swear I'll do everything I can to help you. I don't need anything. I just need you. Because I like you."

The sudden confession made me burst into tears and I yanked the door open and pulled him close.

I hate that all I can do is cry. I hate it. I hate feeling weak. I feeling so much pain.

"I won't let you cry alone, my queen."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I must have cried myself to sleep. I felt weak to the bone, but had been laid in my bed. I sat up and heard voices.

One was clearly Yamagishi but the other I couldn't make out...

I walked over to my bedroom door and gently pulled it open to see Yamagishi taking notes and talking to someone on speaker phone.

"Valhalla's leader the headless angel and Hanma is the front piece. Is there any word on him dating?" He asked taking notes of the information he was given.

I crept out of my room so I wouldn't distract him and saw it was pretty dark. When I stepped on a creaky floor board, he jumped up and threw a glance my way. I smiled at him when we made eye contact making him clear his throat.

"Thanks man. I gotta go." He hung up without another word. He came to face to face with me and I could see how tired he was. He looked confused when I reached for his face. "'Gishi, you need to go home and rest. You're gonna start looking like a relative of Jack Skellington." I joked.

He let out a small laugh and leaned into my palm. I rubbed my thumb against his cheek.

He trusts me.

A flash of Mikey's face shot through my mind and I yanked my hand back as if I had been hit with lightning. My breathing was labored. I felt Yamagishi wrap his arms around me.

"It's okay. I won't let anyone hurt you no matter what. I won't leave your side."

This isn't fair to him.

"Mikey is the first one I ever loved. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He rubbed my back and took a deep breath.

"Maybe one day...you could learn to love me." I pulled away to look into his face. He was smiling at me. "Until then, I can be pretty patient." I felt that smile and I couldn't help but reflect it. I feel the way he is with me. I know he means it.

Yamagishi's POV

I didn't have the heart to tell her what else is going on these days. I know she loves Mikey but I don't want to bring him up. He messed up and telling Toman members not to talk to her is low.

Yamagishi sat next to her as they enjoyed some dumb comedy movie. When he told her he would wait and she smiled, he felt his whole world was right there. She smiled at him, because of him, for him.

Makoto asked him where he kept disappearing to, and he wanted to keep this private for now for her sake as well as his friends. With Takemichi being a friend of Mikey, he could only imagine what Toman finding out that one of his friends was sticking close to Y/n would do as far as trust goes.

As the movie finished, he knew he needed to ask her something important. He didn't want to because he didn't want her to cry again.

"Hey, were you friends with that Baji guy?" I attempted to ask casually. She looked at me before letting out a careful "Why?"

He tried to tell her in a nonchalant way that Baji became an enemy of Toman and joined Valhalla.

Y/n's POV

How could I be so selfish? While I'm sitting in pain, I let myself forget that they are still in danger all because I have broken heart.

I did my best to keep my cool as Yamagishi told me everything, but I knew I needed to figure out a way to prevent Baji from dying.

Not for Mikey, but because Baji doesn't deserve to die.

It was pretty late and Yamagishi gave a quick good night and headed out. I smiled and waved him off. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have been able to come back.

I closed the front door and went to my closet to pull out my gear.

It's time to get back to work. Mikey or no, I didn't start doing this for him anyway.

I began putting together a plan to try to ensure the safety of Baji Keisuke.