Our Lost Faith| TaeKook

Chapter 39

The door to the house opened and Hoseok entered, Taehyung didn't even bulge hearing the sound of footsteps while on the other Hoseok was surprised to see Taehyung still awake.

"Tae" Hoseok calls and sets his bag as he walks to the seat next to Taehyung on the couch.

Taehyung finally gives him a look but doesn't say anything. Hoseok frowned seeing Taehyung so ware out, he looks tired and he can tell that Taehyung cries. "Tae" he calls again placing his hands over Taehyung.

"Would it make me a bad person if I say I want to be alone?" Taehyung says in a dead tone.

"You want me to leave you alone?" Hoseok ask. He was a little surprised by his word but he can't understand what Taehyung goes through.

"I don't want to be trapped anymore Hyung...I want to be free again" Taehyung says, something in his eyes changes.

"Did something happen? Why are you saying this? You know you can go anywhere you want." Hoseok said not understanding why Taehyung was saying this.

"Do I make you feel trapped Taehyung?" Hoseok dares to ask.

"Yes. You do" Taehyung didn't even hesitate for a second to speak.

Hoseok eyes stare at Taehyung for a second before they fall onto his hands, he took back the hands that were holding onto his. The way his heart dropped, he wanted to ask Taehyung something but he didn't know if he could.

"I-I am sorry-"

"I have been trapped between the two of you for so long that I began to wonder how it felt before the two of you. I have been running back and front between the two of you. I go with Jungkook, he ends up hurting me, I somehow ended up in front of you every time. It so exhausting because in between you two I forgot what I want" For the first time Taehyung truly felt like he was speaking his hurt out. Hoseok didn't know what to say, he didn't feel good hearing those words.

"I go away from you and end up with Jungkook. I feel like a toy being passed back and front. I try to make out the best of what I am given and that still gets taken away. I'll still have yet to feel whole again. Between the two of you, I am always left to feel empty." Taehyung says with no regrets, he gonna let his heart speak today.

"With him, I feel love, I feel safe, I want to be with him but it doesn't take long before I end up running away from him too. I try to look past all his flaws, no matter how many times he has hurt me I have always tried to forget......because I hoped for a better day. He shows so much care, so much love that I fall more for him and end up hurt every single time." Taehyung cries he was shouting or anything. He was very calm for a broken person.

"And with you, I feel guilty. Because you are so kind to me, even with me constantly hurting you you always be so nice to me, and that suffocating to me" Taehyung says.

Hoseok eyes widen "but I love you-"

"I don't want you to love me!" Taehyung shouts a little and Hoseok is taken back.

"Your loving me makes me feel shitty, I can't give you that love, I can't be that person for you but you are too got damn nice and pretend everything is okay. Why can't you ever just hate me" he says desperately says.

"I am so tired of everyone making me feel so crappy, my life is already being ruined yet you all make it so much worse. I can't get the love I want, the one that loves me I don't want that. You all just pretend to be so great that it killing me!!" Taehyung cries out.

"My intention was never to make you feel like this Taehyung, I don't know I made you feel so suffocating...I am sorry-"

"Can you please stop saying sorry? You are doing exactly what I don't want you to" he cries, and he moves away from him.