My Best Friends Brother

Chapter 224

You never should have come between them, he made a choice.

Josh shakes as Xade steps in close to him, my stomach twisting with a mix of emotions as the man lays his hand on Josh's cheek with so much delicate love, looking at him with nothing but fucking hope.

He loves him. Even if what Brie says is true it doesn't change the fact that Xade fucking loves him, that he's the one that's been there for him.

His next words leave him so quietly, like he's afraid to even ask, but I don't miss a single fucking one.

"Are you marrying me because you want me... Or are you marrying me because you couldn't marry him?"

Fuck... Josh...

Babe, please look at me...

I would've fucking married you Josh...

I just look at him tremble, all the feelings I have for him that I've kept buried so deep in-fucking-side me just to survive the last four years throwing themselves straight to the surface and hitting me all at once. Why didn't you come for me? Why didn't you just fucking come for me...

I can hear him sob, watching the tear leave Xade's eye as he lowers his head against Josh. Fuck...

In any other moment I think I'd feel more happiness than I thought was ever possible knowing that Josh, or at least a part of him, still has that place for me in his fucking perfect heart.

But right now I can't feel any of that, all I feel is my own tear running down my face as I watch both their hearts shatter.

Xade lifts his head just enough to kiss Josh's jaw, a kiss that wrecks what was left of Josh as his body seems to cave in on itself, the structure that was his life crumbles around him.

I've just fucking hurt him again.

Xade locks eyes with mine, I want to scream and tell him I'm so fucking sorry but I can't make a sound, the torture in his eyes is too much. At the party we talked, he told me how he was going to be in both Josh and Liam's life for a long fucking time. I remember so well what it felt like to have those visions of the future, tears tumbling down my cheeks knowing that he's having to let go of them the same way that I did, except I'm the reason for his heartache this time.

I'm the one that broke him.

Xade lets his eyes leave mine, pulling himself away from the man he still loves and racing out into the street until he's lost from us completely.

This isn't how I wanted it to happen. Every time I've dreamed of being with Josh again, it has been in a world where I cause him nothing but joy, where we laugh and smile and fucking kiss, where all the pain he's ever felt because of me no longer exists. Where I just make him happy.

You did this Milo, move, you have to fucking fix it.

I take a step forward towards Josh, but as soon as I'm within arms reach of him he twists and starts to walk away down the street.

"Josh!" He doesn't stop, even as I shout again he doesn't fucking stop.

Maybe he needs to be alone, maybe I should just run back into the club and get Brie to call my sister to come and make things better... But this isn't their fault, it's mine.

I race down the street, pushing my way through the crowds of people pouring out of every bar on the strip until I get to the corner and turn to see him about to disappear down towards the Bay.

The sea... it's always the sea...

Rain starts to gently hit my face as all the alcohol seems to be sapped from my system by adrenaline with every rushed step I take towards his quivering frame.