I fell in love with the devil |The Walking Dead| NeganxOC |CarolxDaryl

Chapter 71 - His Demons

Quinn, on the road

I only grabbed a backpack with some clothes, a blanket, and food in it. I had two bottles of water as well. I was walking silently, watching out for danger. Alexandrians were heading to the tower. People were talking quietly to one another, but everyone kept a low profile, so we wouldn't attract attention. Daryl was walking beside us at the edge of the road, to look out for whisperers. A couple of fighters did the same. Negan was walking right next to me, silently. We didn't talk about Alpha anymore. I wanted to forget about the whole thing.

Carol was walking holding hands with RJ and Gracie, Judith walking beside RJ. Right behind them Henry and Lydia, holding hands too. Now Carol became a babysitter. She glanced at Daryl from time to time. It pained me to see her struggle, but this time, it was really not a good time to think about romance. I was walking with Negan several meters behind them. I saw Lydia as she glanced at Negan. She looked weary, her eyes all dark and full of hatred. I was sure they told her what happened to her mother. She glanced at Negan with the same hatred in her eyes that almost everyone in Alexandria had for him. I glanced at him too. He noticed how Lydia looked at him and it was a knife in his heart, I could tell by the face he was making.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly. He glanced at me and nodded.

"Yeah. Sure."

We kept on walking. He didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to push him, so I didn't say anything. I wanted to give him time. To digest what happened. I needed it too.

I also had a pounding headache. It was the dumbest thing to get drunk with Carol last night. We both messed up because of it. We promised we will never get drunk again. My eyes met with Daryl's for a moment. Then my eyes fell on Gracie. Aaron, Jesus, and Alden stayed behind at Alexandria, to alert us if Beta arrives. Henry was trying to comfort Lydia, but she was really upset. I glanced at Negan once more. Should I take his hand? Would it make him feel better? Or should I leave him alone?

I decided to let him be. Why would it make him feel better?

We were approaching the tower anyway, so I snapped out of my thoughts. Gabriel opened the doors, leading the way. We entered the building. It was stinking really badly, but it was safe, at least for now. We headed upstairs. I found an almost clear spot, I mean, cleaner than the rest, so I put my backpack there. It was a tiny room, it even had a door on it. Negan put his pack next to mine. I saw him glancing at Lydia. He was really hurt. He felt guilty. I felt the urge to do something, to try to comfort him, but I had no idea how. I stepped to the door and slowly closed it, but not entirely, I was afraid it might get stuck, because it was old and rusty. We heard people talking outside. Negan looked wearier by the moment. I couldn't stand it anymore, to see him like this. I stepped to him and slowly took his hand. I squeezed it a little. He looked at our hands, then looked away and started crying. It broke my heart to see him like this.

"Shhh. It's okay," I said quietly and hugged him. He buried his face in my shoulder, he was sobbing like that for a while.

"I murdered the mother of that child," he said quietly, his voice cracking. He was shaking badly. I embraced him stronger. I was stroking the back of his neck and his back.

"She was a threat to all of us, even to Lydia. She was beating her. Lydia will be better without her. Don't torture yourself," I said. His breathing started to become normal again, but he stayed in my arms anyway. After a couple of minutes, he stepped away from me and wiped his eyes. He turned his back on me, then he put his right arm on the window, and rested his forehead against it while looking outside. I felt like I should give him space. So I did. I left the room. When I got outside, I let out a huge sigh. I went looking for Carol but saw her nowhere. I saw Gracie with RJ.