The Odd Doctor Out | A Drama | S. 2

365 🩺 The Last Straw

'But I hate it. I love it, and I hate it, and it hurts, okay? It hurts to be going back and forth, constantly. I feel whiplashed.

You say I'm drawn to the bad things that happen in this hospital, but I have tried so hard to keep my head down and just get through my prac. I don't want the bullshit politics, or the paperwork, or the lawsuits, or anything.'

He choked on a wave of tears as his chest ached. 'I just wanted to do my job, and do it well...' he whispered.

'I love medicine. I love it so fucking much, but I can't do this anymore. Things keep happening, making me hate it, and I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired...'

His parents stared at him, and he hated that as they saw him cry and pour his heart out to them, instead of comforting him, they sat still, analysing him like a fucking patient.

'All the signs...  God there's been so many... Do you know how many times I've sat at the bar with San, telling him how badly I want out? Years. For years I've struggled with loving it, and hating it.

But I'm too fucking thick to catch on that maybe this isn't what I'm supposed to do.

So the world showed me, why I hate it, right in front of my eyes, in the form of a hospital that had chased my own parents out for being honest, respectable doctors.

But even then, I was still too thick to take the hint.

And so I was shown privy to malpractice, I was stabbed in the neck, and now I've been punched in the face in the fucking corridor. I coughed up blood. Have you ever coughed up blood? Hmm? Do you know what it feels like? Tastes like?

I was attacked, and all I fucking want to do! Is to help people!'

Tears falling even heavier now and his voice growing in volume as he became more worked up... He was sure he was disturbing the people on the outside of the curtain bay, and the dead silence from outside with the exception of infusion pumps beeping, told him he was right.

But he just couldn't stop his tears, and the more he stared at his parents, wishing they would stand up and at least touch his arm, and comfort him...

It only made it worse, and made him hate medicine all the more.

'I can't do this anymore,' he sniffed, giving up on using his hands to swipe away tears and using his rolled up shirt sleeve at the elbow instead.

His mother leant forward, shaking her head. 'No you don't meant that darling. You love it here...'

'Ooooh my god- Mother! You're still not listening to me! I'm in pain! Can't you see?!'

'Darling if you're in pain, then we can get you some analgesia-'

He groaned. 'Oh for god sake- For once in your life, can you take your fucking doctor hats off and just look at me, as your son?! You made me, so it's the least you can fucking do!'

He stared at his parents' blank faces, and as he saw them both speechless, the sad reality hit him like a bullet to the heart. 'You can't... Can you?... You don't know how to...'

His chest suddenly pulled, agonisingly, and suddenly, he could barely breathe. He felt claustrophobic for the first time in his life, and suddenly, he would have preferred to be having a tea party with Mr. Kwang, than sitting in a confined space with his parents. They had gone within an instant, to the people he loved in a distant kind of fashion, to the two people he wanted to see the least on the entire planet.

Getting off of the bed, he grabbed his coat from the chair and pulled it on, wincing a little as his side tugged.

'Yunho... Where are you going?' his mother asked, and it hurt to hear that her voice was suddenly more gentle... Even if just marginally...

'Anywhere away from you two. The further the better.'

Pulling on his shoes, he swiped away his tears, only more saddened by the way his neck ached painfully as he did.

But as he went to leave, his mother suddenly shot to stand up. Perhaps she might have gone to him, if not for the fact that his father was sitting on the chair in her way.

Or perhaps that was just wishful thinking. 

'Yunho, darling... Stay, we can talk...'

Those words hurt more than anything she'd said all night.

And so as he pulled the curtain aside, he looked down over his shoulder, pained to speak the words he felt were ingrained in his soul.

'What's the point? You never listen anyway.'

~~~

A/N: As much as I am dying to post the next chapter, sadly, I have to refrain to 1 a day 😫 

we are  literally only 14 chapters out from the finale, and i've written sweet all (lmao surprisingly 14 chapters again) in season 3. I'm desperately trying to finish shadows, so unfortunately (lmao probably just for me, u lot probs dc 🤣) I have to exercise ✨restraint✨ 

Sorryyyyy!!!!!

🥺👉👈