The Odd Doctor Out | A Drama | S. 2

229 🩺 Night Match

Smiling down at the ground, he lulled his head around when Mingi shook him. 'Fine. You can have him.'

Mingi smiled widely, and as he turned to walk with him towards the building, Yunho looked at him to see suddenly, that tiny little sparkling stud in his ear. Blinking in the low light, it caught Yunho's eyes, and kept them, unrelenting in its radiance...

'I just need to get my ethics textbooks. But I was going to go for a walk as well. The dorm next door were partying when I left, so I wasn't too keen to get back before the noise curfew.'

Yunho had to force himself to look elsewhere. Clearing his throat, he looked absolutely everywhere, other than at Mingi's side profile... 'When is curfew?'

'Ten.' Walking up the stairs to the building, Mingi pulled the door opened and held it for him.

'Thanks...'

It was dim inside, only a few dull lights on sporadically down the hallways to conserve energy. It had been a while since Yunho had seen it like that. In fact, as he thought about it, he realised that the last time he'd been here at night, had been with Mingi, too...

'Do you need to get anything?' Mingi asked softly.

He shook his head. 'No. I can come with you.' Although as he saw Mingi give him a smile and start walking towards his locker, Yunho realised that he had never gone with anyone for them to get their things... It was a stupid thought that crossed his mind, but it was a realisation nonetheless that hit him hard like a brick wall as he somewhat uncomfortably stood back and watched.

Yunho followed Mingi with hands in his pockets, through the dim hall around the corner and halfway down the corridor until he stopped walking. Unlocking the locker door, Yunho couldn't help notice how neat it was inside his locker as he reached in and pulled out three textbooks; two thin and one larger. He checked for anything else he might need, before shutting the door with a quiet tap, turning to give Yunho his attention.

He gave him a warm smile and his eyes sparkled with adventure as he started walking backwards down the hall. 'Come on~. I have somewhere I want to go.'

Following him, exhaling slightly in amusement at his overly light attitude, Yunho realised once more just how much he'd missed the almost thrill of being with Mingi. He was calm and kind and gentle and soft, but he was also spontaneous and unpredictable; daring almost, and he was the entire reason behind the only adventurous memories Yunho possessed...

'Where are we going?' He asked, catching up. With Mingi turning to walk beside him, he just sipped on his coffee, smiling down at the cup.

'It's not overcast tonight. When I was standing outside, I realised just how many stars there were... I wanted to see them from the darker part of uni...'

Yunho felt his heart palpate. It's always the small things... 'If you could catch a star in a jar, I feel like you would probably be the happiest person alive.'

Yunho heard Mingi let out a sudden breath, and it was only then that he realised that he'd said that aloud...

Sudden panic crashed over him, with no explanation for why. Had that been a strange thing to say? He'd meant it. Was there something wrong with painting an imaginative picture...? What was that little exhale...?

'Mmm... maybe... But seeing the stars isn't what makes me happy .'

Startled from his onslaught of internal questions, Yunho glanced to his side to see Mingi giving off a wistful gaze into the distance. As they reached the end of the corridor, he opened an escape door and waited for Yunho to walk down the few stairs and push through the door out into the fresh air. The moment Mingi followed, stepping out under the night sky, his eyes gazed up to the stars, a small gentle smile upon his lips.

'What do you mean?'

Mingi sighed happily, walking towards the back of the university, and the sports grounds that came after. 'It's not the stars that make people happy, Yun. It's the idea of being able to enjoy the natural joy of living - appreciating and admiring the beauty of the world from the emotional security of having someone to share it with. You have to be happy, to see their beauty.' Sighing, he sipped his coffee, wandering and gazing at the world around him.

But it wasn't the beauty of the world that mystified Yunho... No, it was something else entirely... Someone... else...

'Have you ever wondered why looking out at the world by yourself seems almost sad?'

Swallowing, trying to remain in control of his beating heart, Yunho shook his head.

'People are meant to be with people. It is a bit hard to enjoy life for what it is, when you don't have a purpose to drive you.' He glanced over his shoulder at him, giving him a small smile. 'You could capture a trillion tiny constellations in a jar, but will they really create a happiness that will last forever every time you look at them?'

Yunho bit his lip, feeling suddenly very open and vulnerable. The more he thought about it, the more Yunho realised that it was almost as if he himself were holding onto jars of stars... prolonging empty happiness under the assumption that his whole life was fulfilled, just because people told him it should be.

Was that why he felt so empty though? Was that why the jar of stars he was holding onto felt superficial? Was it because he was gazing at the stars without really having a driving force behind him... A happiness to exist so that he could see the beauty...? Someone to enjoy it with...

'Why is it that every time I'm with you, I find myself questioning every little thing about myself?'

Surprised for a moment, Mingi shifted his gaze over his shoulder to him. 'How so?'

Taking a shaky breath, Yunho gazed up at the stars... Stars he had looked at in the past occasionally, but never really understood, until now. 'You make me wonder whether every decision I've ever made are really the right ones... You make me unsure about every little thing I thought I knew...'

Yunho heard Mingi's slight exhale in the night, and saw him smile at him through the dark. 'Yun-ah, it's not about which decisions were right or wrong. I don't believe that there is any such thing. You're just craving knowing who you are. Your decisions feel like they hold no weight, because you don't know why you made them in the first place.'

As they spilled out onto the edge of uni, a dark sports field stretching out before him, Mingi put his textbooks down on a grandstand seat and came to stand before him. Giving him an earth shatteringly tender, gentle smile, he spoke the words that rocked Yunho to his core.

'Yun, you have to learn to live, so you know what you're living for.'

~~~