the dark sapphire -Bucky Barnes-

37

Ally, meanwhile, was hanging a punching bag in the anchor downstairs in the training room while a playlist filled with happy songs played in the background, but Ally couldn't even enjoy that right now. She failed in her first two attempts to bandage her hands, which only made her mood worse. When she was finally ready to punch the punching bag, she let her emotions loose. She punched the bag while tears ran down her cheek, stopping only when her hands hurt . The right bandage had slipped off her knuckles and the exposed skin was just irritated and even bleeding in places. Annoyed, she ripped the bandages off her hands and threw them into the room in frustration before trying to calm herself down.

When she had calmed down to some extent, she decided to try to open a portal again. She stood on the mat, closed her eyes and imagined her room, but her mind kept drifting to Bucky the whole time, she couldn't concentrate and as much as she tried, she couldn't even get it to create the blue sphere in her hands. "Come on. It's not that hard!" she screamed out loud as she stared at her hands sobbing, but nothing happened. Sobbing, she dropped to her knees. She didn't want to anymore, couldn't. It should just stop, everything, the nightmare, which unfortunately was reality, should just be over.

Totally distraught and sobbing, she ran up the stairs, stormed past Sam in the computer room, who looked at her in fright, and stopped in front of Bucky's door first. She hesitated for a moment before opening the door and walking into the room. "Ally..." Bucky jumped up from his chair, startled, as Ally suddenly stood in the room. "I can't take it anymore, Bucky. I don't know what's going on, but I need you, so please tell me what I did wrong. You can't say to me not to push you away and then be the one to push me away. That's not fair!" Ally buried her face in her hands and began to sob.

"Ally, I...I can't" Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat and resisted the urge to hug Ally. "Please, Bucky. I can't go on like this, what have I done to you?" Bucky sighed. "you have not done anything..." he said softly. "then what is the reason you are pulling away from me?" Bucky lowered his head. "Ally..." "i don't want to hear some excuse! Tell me the truth" Ally pleaded to him.

Bucky remained silent. Ally reached out, placed her hand on Bucky's forearm. "Please, Bucky. I need to know" she whispered sadly. "Ally, I...it can be..." Bucky didn't know how to tell her. "When you were under Hydra's control...you accused me of being the murderer of your parents.I thought Hydra just talked you into it to give you a reason to attack us, but....as it seems, Hydra really did have something to do with your parents' accident and if that's true..then...it's very likely that I killed your parents."

A sharp pain ran through Bucky as Ally withdrew her hand from his arm and stared at him, startled. He lowered his head. "I..I didn't want to tell you because you're going through enough right now, but I knew you didn't want anything to do with your parents' killer....that's why I pushed you away" he looked at Ally, who had countless tears rolling down her cheek. "I...I'm sorry" he whispered and lowered his head again. "I'm a monster, I know"

Suddenly Ally came up to him and wrapped her arms around his body. Sighing, she pressed herself against his chest. Overwhelmed by the reaction, Bucky gently put his arms around Ally. "You're not a monster" she whispered. "Hydra is the monster. You're a victim" "that doesn't change the fact that I may have killed your parents" Bucky whispered back. "It does, because it wasn't you. Hydra were the ones controlling you. That wasn't the real you" Bucky was stunned by Ally's reaction, never did he expect that she wouldn't blame him at all. He sighed in relief as he rested his head on hers and hugged her tightly.

"Ally..." he sighed as she slowly pulled away from him and he stroked the tears rolling down her cheeks from her face with his thumb. "I've done so much bad. It haunts me" Ally stroked his cheek, sighing. "I know. Sam told me about your nightmares. But Bucky, that wasn't you. That wasn't James Bucky Barnes, that wasn't the man I met. That was the Winter Soldier, Hydra" she said tenderly. "But James and the Winter Soldier are the same person. They are both in here" he tapped against his head. "Even though I wasn't in control, I was still there, still witnessed it" "and will never forget it" Bucky shook his head. "No, I'll never forget" Ally pressed back against his chest sighing. seeking comfort, Bucky wrapped his arms around her.

They just stayed silently hugging each other for a long time, enjoying each other's silent understanding, refueling their own strength through closeness, and even though they were both broken, they were able to give each other so much comfort in that moment.

"No matter what happens, I beg you.... never push me back from you like that again, okay? I need you" Ally whispered at one point, without breaking away from Bucky's chest. "I promise you" Bucky whispered. "Thank you" Ally breathed before pressing herself a little tighter against Bucky again.

THXXX FOR 4.6k reads
LOVE YOUUUUUUU 💓