Skyrim Journals: Lopiken [Year 3]

Day 259

Well, today started off well...

Yesterday, we explained that Brelyna was going to stay at the home for some time, which Lucia was quite excited for. And this morning, when Brelyna mentioned the possibility of teaching Lucia magic, that girl exploded with so much excitement and energy that we all had to stand back and give her room before she calmed down. It was rather hilarious, but then she started mentioning destruction spells and how powerful she'll be out in the wild.

That's when I asked her to come for a walk with me. We went outside the walls, and I think she expected I was going to take her on some small adventure. But then I had her sit with me on a log, and I explained why adventuring was not something to seek, not when there are safer options. I explained why I had turned to that life, because I had no option, but she was too clever for that, saying I could have begged on the streets and worked for a floor to sleep on, like she had for years, that I had those options, but I chose to be an adventurer.

I suppose she was right, but I thought describing the amounts of times I had almost died, the injuries I've incurred, the scars I have that will never go away, the people I've seen die, the people I've killed, would convince her, but she was stubborn.

I guess I was a little stubborn too.

I didn't realize we were yelling at each other until it was too late. She tried storming off and I grabbing her...

She twisted around so fast I didn't have a chance to react before she kicked my leg out, yanked on my arm, and sent me falling forward toward her elbow that she swung into my cheek, sending me to ground. I'll have to thank Lydia for showing her that move later.

Then she yelled at me, screaming through tears. She said that she had dishonoured her mother's memory by not fighting back when her aunt and uncle took over the farm and kicked her out, that she was going to be strong enough that nobody could ever do anything like that to her again.

I had no idea that was still eating her up like that. Then again, I haven't been home much. I haven't been home enough at all... I let her walk away without a word. She's not talking to me yet, but at least Lydia found her quickly enough and brought her home before nightfall.

I don't know what to do anymore. Brelyna and I talked about it all, and she said that all children suffer from an immortality complex, where it's impossible for them to understand their own mortality until a certain age. If I can't stop Lucia from adventuring, what can I possibly do to protect her?