Enemies to lovers (Bucky x reader)

A moment of weakness

"So, you went for the second date already Tin Man" Sam broke the silence a while later while he was feeding Blue. You flushed again, looking up from your book and saw Bucky break out into a grin.
"I'm not leaving anything to chance" Bucky grinned from ear to ear.
"I don't blame you" Steve gave a small smile. "You two have really come a long way" he flipped through his sketch book.
"Yeah, a month ago he was still calling her a pain in the ass, and she was still calling him mouth" Sam chuckled.
"In my defense, Bucky was always mouthing off at me for just walking by" you blushed.
"I wasn't that bad" Bucky chuckled.
"No, you were" Steve looked at him seriously. "I knew it was because you were attracted to her, but you were pretty mouthy"
"Its okay, I had a secret. Its out in the open now. We've moved past it" you shrugged and went back to your book.
"Was I really that bad?" Bucky whispered to you.
"Sometimes, but I was just as bad yelling at you" you bit at your bottom lip. "With everything in the open there's less room for misunderstandings" you saw Bucky was starting to feel really badly, and you leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Some of the best love stories start with a little bit of fighting" you added to comfort him. Bucky blushed and took your hand and kissed your knuckles.
"You're right, they do" he nodded with a grin and went back to his book.
You looked up and saw Sam looked at you disbelievingly. You gave a small smile, and tried to concentrate on your book.
"Are you kidding me? You just gave in, just like that?" Sam asked.
"Yup, its not worth arguing over" Bucky didn't tear his eyes from his book. "She's worth every second, I'm just mad I spent so much time pretending to be angry, when that wasn't the case at all"
"I'm not sure I'm done being mad she kept that secret from us" Sam sighed.
"Haven't you ever been ashamed of something?" you finally looked up. "Terrified someone would know a deep dark secret, because it caused you so much pain it felt like you'd already been ripped apart?"
"I think we all have" Steve spoke softly.
"Every day I walked through those doors, I thought about quitting and going on the run because it was easier than anyone finding out. Cloud kept pushing me to keep coming back because it was making me stronger, and I was happy when I was on missions. I didn't have anyone left to talk to, without putting them in danger. It was bad enough Wanda knew. I figure if anyone would have asked her even once, she would have been more than happy to tell you what I was going through. She wanted me to move into the compound after my second week because she deemed it safer. Everyone here knows Wanda knows everything" you finally looked up. "Every time I went home, I felt sick because I knew at one point he would be waiting. Every time I came into work, I had to spend hours making sure my makeup hid bruises, and my clothes covered me properly so no one was any wiser. I went alone inside on most missions so everyone would think the bruises that did show were because I was clumsy. Its not a secret I kept lightly. I would have given anything for the team not to have known. The looks of pity after finding out are still seared in my brain. I didn't want pity. I didn't want anyone to know. In retrospect, I'm glad the secret came out, because it was breaking me. I lost my home, I lost my friends, I lost almost everything except Cloud and this team" your eyes brimmed with tears as you explained yourself to Sam. "I did it to keep people safe. He hurt everyone that knew me, threatened them until I was alone"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know all of that" Sam looked apologetic, while Steve and Bucky looked at you in surprise.
"Sometimes I keep things to myself to protect people. I don't have any secrets left now, and its freeing. I'm sorry if I hurt you by keeping a secret, but I did it to protect the team, and in a way protect myself from losing one of the few good things I had left" you admitted, and slid your legs off of Buckys lap and got up, putting your book down. "I need a moment" you left to go to your room for a few minutes to breathe.
"Bird brain..." Bucky started as soon as he heard your bedroom door close.
"I know, I pushed it" Sam looked apologetic.
"You didn't see the fear in her face when I told her we were telling the team. She was honestly scared. More than she was scared of him, she was afraid of the team knowing" Steve spoke gently. "That was the morning she got shot"
"She just didn't have to go through it alone" Sam shook his head.
"She didn't see it as she was alone, she had Cloud" Steve whispered. "He was all she knew she had for sure. She thought Bucky was going to ask to have her removed from the team for it"
"I wouldn't do that to a dame" Bucky shook his head.
"But you didn't let her see that side of you until you found out" Sam reminded him. "I can see it from her perspective better now"
"She's been having nightmares of being in that cell too" Bucky shook his head.
"At least she has you to lean on now" Steve smiled at him. "She's put a lot of trust in you since you changed. In all of us" he added softly. "Even I'm guilty of giving her more space than she needed, without knowing it. I just didn't want to hear you two fight when it was over nothing all the time"
"Yeah, he was really riled up when he thought she had a boyfriend" Sam grinned.
"I was jealous" Bucky admitted. "A dame that perfect already having a guy..." he trailed off. "I knew why it couldn't be me. I wanted to know her secret so bad"
"Was it worth it?" Sam asked.
"Not to see her hurting that bad over it. I swear I'll never hurt her like that again. I'll let her come to me with her secrets if she has some" Bucky shook his head.
"I'm going to run Blue out" Sam got up and went out the balcony doors. Bucky waited patiently for him to come back, putting your phone in his pocket along with your book. When Sam came in Bucky took Blue.
"I'll be back in a little bit" he announced and headed towards your bedroom. He wasn't sure what he was going to do or say, but he knew you were hurting, and didn't want you to go through that alone.