Enemies to lovers (Bucky x reader)

Kindness

You woke up screaming again, Cloud and Melody weren't back. It was the Mission 7 again, and you could still hear the echo's and screams of the men as they were dying from the flames that you engulfed them in, and the others as they screamed in terror while Cloud ripped out their throats. You had stopped after to take the time to wash Cloud's face and the ash from your hands before leaving the base where Sam was none the wiser.
"Hey, its okay" Bucky was suddenly sitting beside you on the floor. You hadn't even realized you had gotten out of bed. You were holding your ears and still screaming when his arm went around you and he pulled you closer. Pup was whining on the bed, and you could hear it, but it wasn't coming through to your mind. "You're okay now. You're safe" Bucky whispered pulling you onto his lap after a few moments, and you realized you weren't in the base anymore, and you were being held by someone that smelled like leather and pine. It was a relaxing scent. "You're safe" Bucky whispered again, holding you now with both arms as you continued to cry. You nuzzled into him like you would with Cloud and tried to get your mind back together.
"I can't get their screams out of my head, I just burnt them alive" you shook your head.
"You did what you had to do to survive" Bucky whispered.
"Poor Cloud had to rip their throats out, I can still hear how terrified they were that they were about to die. I took them from their families" you hiccupped and continued to cry.
"We all have regrets, but it was them or you and Cloud. I'm glad you chose you and Cloud" he whispered. "Is this mission 7 again?" he whispered. You nodded.
"It was my first mission without Clint who always talked me through what to do. Sam was just watching the door, and I couldn't get through to him on comms. We were surrounded, and Cloud demanded I give the order" you continued to cry. "I burnt them alive" you shook your head.
"It was you or them. They would have killed Cloud or worse, taken you both for experiments" Bucky whispered. "The worst thing in the world is to be under their control, and I'm speaking from experience" he admitted. "Come on, you need to get something to drink. Rehydrate" he stood up still holding you, and you found yourself just curling into him. He went to the bed and stopped for a moment to put you down long enough to put Pup on your lap and picked you back up like you were light as a feather and carried you like a bride out the door and towards the kitchen. You wrapped one arm across his shoulders, and pulled Pup close with your other hand still trying to stop crying.

When he got to the kitchen Wanda was standing there with three cups of tea, and a smile on her face as Bucky walked in.
"I heard her screams again, it wasn't hard to know what she was dreaming about again. I'm glad she finally told someone" Wanda whispered as he sat you on one of the stools and you hesitantly let him go. Wanda handed you your tea with a knowing smile and took the seat next to you while Bucky went to prep some bottles for when Pup got hungry again.
"Does it ever go away?" you looked pale as a ghost, and your face was swollen from tears.
"You learn to live with your decisions" Wanda spoke knowingly. "Sometimes its harder than others"
"The hardest part is living with your decisions, but I find what helps is knowing what the outcome would have been otherwise" Bucky said over his shoulder.
"You would have died otherwise, so would have Cloud" Wanda put a hand on your lap. "Even if the comms worked, you would have had to make the same decision on that mission. Sam wouldn't have been able to save you. You were too far in the base. You need to find peace with what happened"
"I took them from their families" you shook your head.
"And they would have taken you from yours" she reminded you.
"Mom has Billy" you gave a small smile.
"Your family has grown. I don't think Pietro or Peter would handle it well if you didn't come back from a mission. They look to you as an older sister" Wanda smiled serenely. "Now finish your tea, both of you" Wanda looked to Bucky who set the bottles down, and took a sip from the cup of tea.
"I don't think anyone would handle it well if they didn't come back from a mission" Bucky spoke gently. "They are apart of the family now. Having them here at the compound makes it more obvious"
"I don't want to sleep anymore" you sighed heavily.
"You need to sleep" Wanda shook her head.
"Its hard to sleep when I don't have Cloud beside me" you admitted.
"He needs his hunt" she reminded you. "You need to remember there are humans in your life too"
"Do you really forget humans care about you too?" Bucky looked at you in surprise and you flushed a bit.
"The last year has made it hard to believe otherwise" you finally admitted, and Wanda gave a soft smile.
"Your nightmare is almost over. Morgan is going to catch him, and Shield is going to take him into custody. The only place he's going is the raft, and there's no getting out of that" Wanda touched your hand and got up and went to stand behind you and started braiding your hair back. She knew it relaxed you to have someone play in your hair and you let out a small moan. When she finished, she tied it at the end and gave you a kiss on the cheek. "Go get some sleep. Bucky try to make sure you sleep after breakfast" she looked at him seriously. "You should let someone else take guard duty too"
"I don't sleep much" he flushed.
"You need it" she reminded him. "Come on, put your cups in the sink. I'll take you back to your room before I go back to my Vision" she tapped you on the shoulder and both you and Bucky put your cups in the sink. Bucky grabbed the bottles and the wipes and followed behind you and Wanda back to your bedroom. She walked right in and pulled back the blanket for you and waited for you to slide in before she tucked you in. She gave you another kiss on the forehead. "Sleep" she reminded you as Bucky hesitated for a moment and nodded to her before going back outside to sit on the swing. Pup crawled up on you and let out a tiny whine before you put your arms up to anchor him in place and he started to go to sleep again. You looked out the window and saw Bucky keeping watch on the ground, and looking in once in a while. You smiled shyly to him before you started to fall asleep again.