Ok guys, a couple of things really quick:
1) Thank you all so much for 7,000 reads. I know it's not that may compared to lots of stories, but to have so many people reading this story about Mcfly is, no offense to them, something I did not expect, since, you know they haven't put out an album in like 8 years...
but seriously, thank you all so much for the love and support
2) Happy birthday Lilly! As in, Lilly Greene, the protagonist of this story. If she were a real person and not just a figment of my imagination, she would be 31 today.
3) shoutout to another Lily, mcflyvideos, for showing me an awesome website called notebook.ai. I'm working on putting all the information about Wonderland in there, so if you guys want a really in depth look at the characters, like what they look like through all the years, and even some hints towards future chapters, check it out! My user is emf192
And now, onto chapter 92
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December 2, 2007
I'm Lilly Greene and I am the queen of over analyzation.
You'd probably think I'd have gotten over the whole thing about Dougie partying, since Izzy, Gi and I spoke about it 2 months ago, but that wasn't the case.
Dougie goes out almost every night, and while I have no doubt that he loves me and I love him, I'm starting to worry. What if he actually has a problem?
I mean, it's not like he's ever been violent, or gotten in trouble. If anything, he just acts like normal Dougie.
But still. He leaves at about ten and comes back early in the morning almost every night.
And what do I do? I pretend I'm asleep, when really I'm awake the whole time over thinking and losing sleep. Even when he comes back early in the morning, smelling like liquor and London, and kisses my cheek as he gets into bed, I lay on my side and pretend to be asleep.
But I'm not.
And the lack of sleep is kind of getting to me.
I'm at home, and Dougie is at Danny's. I think that's what he said. I'm exhausted, but I'm trying to keep myself awake by doing chores. But as I'm doing them, I swear, I'm hearing sounds.
Sounds like the door opening, and footsteps, and at first I tell myself I'm paranoid, and tired, and not to worry.
But before I know it, I'm walking out to the living room with a frying pan in my hand.
I peek over the couch. Nothing.
I turn around, and standing right in my face is a guy with a buzzed head.
I scream,
then he screams,
then I scream again.
"Harry what the hell are you doing here...and what the hell happened to your hair?" I ask.
"Ah, I buzzed yesterday. And I brought this." He says, handing me an envelope. "Dougie had it sent to my house." I take the envelope from him, and walk back towards the kitchen, placing it on the counter with my lethal pan.
"Why didn't you say anything when you walked in?" I ask.
"I did." He says. "I called out for you and Dougie."
"What is it?" I ask, nodding towards the envelope.
"No clue." Harry says. He pauses. "You don't look too well Lil. Are you ok?"
"Fine." I say, sighing. "Just tired."
"I'd figure you'd be more awake than ever, seeing as you're having a rest period while we plan the album." Harry says.
"Yeah just...a lot happening."
"Are you guys...you and Dougie...alright?" Harry asks.
"Oh yeah." I lie. Dougie was fine. I was not. Usually I wouldn't lie to Harry, as his bullshit detector is impeccable, but I can't bring myself to tell him the truth. "Just after school. Paying debt. Being grown up isn't always easy."
"Isn't that the truth." Harry laughs. "But we'll make it. Anyways, I'm heading over to Danny's now to meet the boys."
"You're all over there?" I ask.
"Oh yeah. And James. Writing session. You could stop by later if you like?" He asks.
"Uh...maybe. I've got some stuff to do first." I say.
"Alright." Harry says, patting me on the shoulder and showing himself out. "See you when I see you then." He calls.
And as soon as the door closes, I grab the envelope and open it. Am I supposed to do this? No. Is there anyone stopping me?
No.
I tear it open and find inside 20 pounds and a note.
Dougie-
Thanks for the ride the other night. Keep the change.
Zoe
I grab my coat and head for the door. I know exactly where I need to go.
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I knock urgently on the door as snow falls on my head. It's good I didn't have to drive.
The door opens.
"Lilly, what are you doing here?" Gi asks, ushering me in.
"I'm sorry Gi, I don't know if you're busy-"
"I'm not" She says quickly.
"But I really need to talk to you." I say. She takes my coat off and hangs it up, then guides me to sit in the living room.
"Gi." I start. "I'm really having trouble. I've been thinking about what you and Izzy said in October about the boys partying and I'm scared because Dougie has been going out more than ever, and we don't really go on that many dates, and I usually spend time with him in the day but, I don't know, what if it's not enough? What if this is tearing some kind of hole in our relationship? I mean, I haven't been able to sleep when he goes out and now knowing that he gave some girl a ride? I don't want to be jealous because I know Dougie is amazing, but it just makes me a little worried. But that's human nature right? I mean-"
"Lilly, slow down...what are you talking about?" Gi says. I let out a deep breath.
"You and Izzy. When we all talked in October about the boys partying? Dougie goes out almost every night and it worries me. I mean, the other boys don't ever go out nearly as much." I say.
"What about the girl?" Gi asks.
"Harry brought over an envelope. It was a letter to Dougie with money from a girl named Zoe thanking him for a ride or something."
"Lilly." Gi says, grabbing my hands. "It's okay that Dougie goes out more than Tom, Harry and Danny."
"It is?" I ask.
"Of course it is! Just because you and Dougie's relationship isn't just like Izzy and Harry's or mine and Tom's doesn't mean it's not going to work out. You guys are almost three years younger than us. At 20 Tom was partying just as much. Plus it's undeniable that you guys love each other."
"You think?" I ask. I knew it was true, I just needed validation right now.
"Of course. I've known Dougie for a long time, and he's never acted around girls the way he acts with you. Even girls he told us he really liked. You know there was a whole year they lived in the band house before you started working for them?" She says.
"Yeah." I say.
"By this time next year, he won't be able to stay up past 11. You'll be wishing he partied more." Gi smiled, making me laugh. It was nice to hear Gi say that our relationships didn't need 'the same schedule'. She was right, and it made me feel silly for ever comparing Dougie to Tom...
"But...what about the Zoe girl? I don't want to seem like a jealous girlfriend. I do trust Dougie-"
"It's okay for you to worry. We're taught to worry in relationships. Which is bad, but the more you're together, the less you'll worry. Plus, nothing like this has ever happened with you and Dougie, right?" She asks. I nod. "So that's good, but it will probably have this effect on you." Gi laughs. "Ask him about it, but be calm. I'm sure it's nothing. Trust him. Dougie would never lie to you, Darling."
"I'd never let him." I laugh.
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I stayed with Gi till Tom got home, and then I went home. I expected Dougie to be out at a bar, so I was shocked to see him in the kitchen when I got home, standing, looking at the open letter on the counter.
I stood silently in the doorway and watched him.
"Are you mad at me?" He asks, without even looking at me.
"I'd only be mad at you if you gave me a reason to be." I say quietly. He sighs and looks up at me.
"My friends and I met at this bar last week. This girl was hitting on one of them, but they all left before her and I. She was piss drunk so I put her in a car and sent her home. I gave her Harry's address to forward the money to incase she ended up being a crazy fan." He says.
"Poor Harry." I smile, and sniff. My nose was red and runny from the cold outside. Dougie doesn't smile back, instead he walks over to me, wraps his arms around me, and rests his chin on the top of my head, even though he isn't that much taller than me.
"I'm sorry Lilly. I told myself I wouldn't do this to you. I'm just like-" He begins, but I stop him before he can continue. I know what's coming.
"No. No, you're not like anyone else but yourself Dougie. You shouldn't be sorry. You did something good for that girl, not anything bad to me. Who knows...you could've saved her from something horrible happening to her."
"Like what?" Dougie asks. I pause.
"A car accident." I say finally, closing my eyes. Dougie pulls away from me and looks at me, but I don't want to carry on with this discussion. " Are you going out tonight?" I ask again, timidly.
"No." He says.
"Do think maybe you'd want to watch a film with me?" I ask, smiling a little. He smiles too, finally, and nods.
"Anytime with you, Lilly."
And I realized Gi was right. The late nights and early mornings and different liquors didn't matter, and neither did anyone else for that matter.
Because Dougie and I did love each other. So nothing else mattered.
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