Izaya stood there, half laid out onto his desk, and his other half trying to support his legs into standing, but failing and sending the raven to his knees onto the floor.
This wasn't supposed to happen...
THIS WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!
Shizu-chan was supposed to just yell at me and maybe try throwing a chair at me.
....but this was a much worse reaction.
...
.....Shizu-chan gave up his blood to save me?
"I don't know why I was waiting for any appreciation to be shown."
Was Shizu-chan....waiting for me to...?
...Was he serious.....about the whole thing between us starting over?
At the time when he said it, I could tell that he meant it then, but wasn't that just something to say because he suddenly felt like it? It should be no different then when a child suddenly gets the feeling to want to clean their room, but being bored of it minutes after they started. Or an adult saying with so much conviction that they will stop drinking, only for them to realize how those were just words, and find themselves the next morning having passed out in an alleyway from drinking too much.
"I don't know why I was waiting for any appreciation to be shown."
...He was waiting for me.
Waiting to see if I could be good.
If I could be more human.
But I don't want to be more human.
...
...Ha...
I'm human and I know it.
I just don't want to admit it.
Humans are such admirable creatures. They can go through so much and still shine through.
...But they can still break so easily too.
"THAT'S WHY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ALONE!"
That's what the protozoan said.
...and he has never been more right.
...
...
...But I don't want to be alone.
**********************************************
Shizuo didn't mean to snap like that.
But he meant every word he said.
And by the broken look in the flea's eyes when he was talking, he could tell that Izaya believed his words too.
Sigh.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
Shizuo had walked out of the apartment and down to the streets, but stopped as soon as he walked out the doors of the building, stuck in his thoughts. It was late at night, with no one really around.
He pulled out one of his cigaretts, put it in his mouth, and lit it. All the while trying to calm his nerves.
He would have just walked off, and left the flea, just for the next day for them to be enemies again, and he would have done that if not for two reasons.
One, there was still someone out there that was targeting the flea while he was out of commission.
And two, the expression that Izaya made before he left tore Shizuo apart.
He didn't know why it did. It just happened. H has never before seen the raven with such a broken look before. Not once in all the time that he has known him.
Shizuo went back over in his mind what he had said, and cringed.
Damn. I didn't hold back at all. I said some really fucked up shit, didn't I?
"You are trash that needs to be wiped out. To not exist."
Shizuo couldn't stop his wince at that particular memory of what he said.
Do I really believe that the flea should just stop existing?
...
Sigh.
I know I don't.
...I fucked up again, haven't I?
Shizuo was about to turn around to go back inside, when someone suddenly slammed into his back, causing his cigarette to fall out of his mouth and for him to stumble a bit.
He was about to reach behind him for whoever was there, and launch them into the sky.
When the person started talking, he was surprised that it was Izaya's voice. He was even more surprised when he realized what the raven just said.
"I'm sorry, Shizuo."
**********************************************
I do not own Durarara!! or any images used.