November 6, 2006
Today, McFly's third album, Motion in the Ocean was released. Usually the day the album is released is pretty stressful, but this time the boys seemed used to it.
For the past four days, I've been sort of avoiding Dougie. The talk of marriage scared me away. We aren't even 20 yet.
I knew that Dougie knew I was avoiding him, however, I also knew that Dougie knew that I knew he knew and we both knew we were pretending not to know.
It makes a lot of sense, trust me.
I was trying to keep myself busy for most of the day. Believe it or not, the release dates of albums aren't that busy, and I was trying to take in the calm before the storm of tour and press.
I was doing school work in the living room when Dougie came in.
"Lil...what are you doing?" He asks, turning the corner. I look up at the clock. It's already 6:00. He's probably wondering if I have dinner plans.
"Oh...school. I can do dinner-"
"No, no. The boys and I are gonna go out and then get drinks after. Wanna come?" He asks.
"Oh, no thanks Love." I say. "I have a lot of school work." That was a lie.
"But Gi and Izzy are going. And you've never missed an album celebration, even before they were around." He reasons. "Even before we were around." He adds softly, thinking I didn't hear.
I did.
"Yeah I know it's just-"
"Lilly," He says, walking in and sitting next to me on the floor behind the coffee table. Our shoulders are touching, the closest we've been in four days, and it becomes apparent to me how much I truly missed him from the ache in my chest. "I know you're avoiding me because I talked about marrying you at the hotel." I sigh. There's no point in hiding it. "I didn't mean it. And you're right. We're way too young. And we never have to get married, if you don't want. I don't really care. I just know I don't want to spend my life with anyone else. So whether you're my girlfriend, or my wife, or whatever, I don't care. But...when you become you unsure about telling people we're dating it makes me worried."
"Why?" My mouth asks, before my brain can keep up.
"I get it. You're worried about the boys telling Fletch. I am too. But I mean, Danny's lasted this long. And he's Danny." He says, causing me to laugh. "But you never seem to care at all and it makes me feel like I love you more than you love me and...I don't want us to break up."
I was shocked. I never in a million years would have guessed that was why Dougie wanted to tell the other boys. I thought it was convenience or, even, bragging rights, although I doubted it, when I compared myself to Gi or Izzy.
"Dougie." I say sadly. "I'm sorry. I never thought you felt that way." I put my hands on the sides of his face, and he looks at me, clearly embarrassed. "I guess...well, I guess I never show any concern because I'm not really used to getting my way." I laugh.
I quickly give him a kiss and take my hands away from his face and close my book.
"I really, really, really love you. I'm not going to be the one to break up with you, so unless you're going to break up with me, we aren't breaking up." I say. "And I will come out with you."
"What about your work?" He asks.
"Yeah...I may or may not have fibbed about having a lot of work." I laugh again, and Dougie does too this time.
"Naughty." He scolds, before we both get up from the floor.
//
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