"Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday, happy birthday! Happy birthday to you!"
We were celebrating Mark's third birthday in the Hunt's residence, singing as we clapped our hands together in a unison rhythm.
"Blow out your candle!" Ate Peachy urged.
Storm carried Mark and held him as he stood on a chair so that the child could lean towards the cake on the table.
"Yehey!" they shouted after Mark had blown the candle that had a figure of Spiderman.
Almost all of Storm's relatives attended Mark's birthday - all of his cousins were present, except those who were in abroad. They had a good time with the games with Mark's childish laugh resounding the place. His birthday celebration lasted until evening.
The whole time, I just sat in the corner with Storm.
"Kuya Storm!"
We both turned our head to the girl who called Storm. I no longer remembered who she was but I knew that she was one of Storm's cousins.
"Kuya, can you join us? We're having fun," aniya nang makalapit siya sa amin ni Storm. Hindi nakaligtas sa akin ang kanyang pagsulyap sa akin na may kasamang pag-irap.
"No, I'm fine here," Storm refused.
"Kuya naman! Bonding ng mga magpipinsan 'yon!" she protested.
Storm heaved a sigh and stood up.
"Don't worry, Fara could stay here," she said, giving me an obvious fake smile.
"No, she will come with me," Storm said and beckoned to me to tell me that I needed to come with him.
I saw the girl roll her eyes at me. Kung gaano kaganda ang ugali ni Storm, mukhang 'yon naman ang kinasama ng ugali ng ibang mga pinsan niya.
Storm really didn't want to join his cousins because they were drinking wine. His cousins decided to have a drink after the party.
"Hey! Dito kayo," Alexander, one of his cousins, said.
We sat with them at the long table where they were having fun. They gave me a glass of wine. Nahihiya akong tumanggi sa mga pinsan niya, lalo na't napansin ko ang kakaibang tingin nila sa akin. I was really sure that they didn't like me. Iinumin ko sana 'yon nang pigilan ni Storm ang kamay ko at umiling sa akin.
"O-okay," sabi ko at binitiwan ang wine glass.
Napansin kong sumulyap ang ilan sa bandang likuran ko.
"Kirby!" tawag naman nila sa taong paparating.
"What's up?!" somebody shouted. It was a familiar voice.
I turned my head to that person, and I saw the person I hadn't seen for a long time. It was Kirby! He wore a black cap and a red hoodie jacket.
"Buti, nakahabol ka?" Kuya Sean, another one of Storm's cousins, asked him.
"Dapat kanina pa talaga ako. Na-traffic lang," aniya at napakamot pa ng ulo. Napatingin naman siya sa akin. Doon lumiwanag ang mukha niya. "Fara!" he approached me.
I smiled and stood up to hug him. I really missed him. The last time we saw each other was the day of my wedding. I noticed the changes in his body. He lost weight. When we broke our hug, he sat beside me.
"Kirby! O, shot na!" sigaw ni Kuya Sean sa kaniya.
Nakakapagtaka na umiling ito at sinabi, "No, thanks. Bagong buhay na 'to!" he proudly said while pointing to himself.
"H'wag kang gagaya kay Storm kung ayaw ninyong patayuan ko kayo ng monumento!" Kuya Sean told him. They laughed. Natawa lang din si Storm.
"CR lang ako," paalam ko kay Storm. Tumango naman siya.
I went to the comfort room. I washed my hands and fixed my hair before I went out. But I stopped when I heard someone speaking up.
"Fara."
Paglingon ko, si Kirby ang nakita ko. "Hey!" I told him.
"Let's talk for a moment," he said.
I nodded my head and followed him. We found a quieter place where we could talk. We were settled on the side, watching Storm's cousins having fun.
"I'm getting busy," Kirby started.
"Yeah, I can't contact you last time."
I heard him heave a sigh and then, he asked, "Kumusta na kayo ni Storm?"
"We're okay. It's just that... Um... I'm getting confused by his belief and lifestyle," I admitted.
I smiled a little as I thought of Storm praying for an hour.
I heard him chuckle and replied, "Because he is a Christian and a man of God. You are blessed, Fara."
Blessed? Well...
"Yeah, he's so kind."
"He wasn't like that before," natatawang sabi niya. "Sobrang laki ng pagbabago niya. Doon ko napatunayan na totoo pala talaga ang Diyos, kasi tinablan siya. I never thought that he would change." He inhaled and then exhaled. "Fara," he suddenly called me.
"Hmm?" I replied.
"Can I hug you?" he requested. Napakunot naman ang noo ko. I couldn't believe that he was asking for a hug. Kirby was a sweet person but he never asked for a hug.
"Hug?" I said and tittered.
"Yeah. I've just missed my best friend, you know," he said with a smile on his lips.
Hindi ko na siya hinintay na yakapin ako dahil ako na ang yumakap sa kaniya. Naramdaman ko ang pagyakap niya sa akin pabalik. This was not the first time because I was the one who always hugged him even before since we were a kid.
"Ikaw, a! Baka mamaya niyan totoo ang sinabi mo sa akin noong April Fool's Day," biro ko sa kaniya.
"Yuck!" Mabilis na humiwalay siya sa akin at kunwari'y nandidiri siya sa akin. "No way!" he said in a gay tone while rolling his eyes.
I laughed and went to punch him on the stomach but he was quick to dodge it.
Afterwards, we came back to the table.
Nangingibabaw ang kakulitan ni Kirby. Sa huli, kumakanta na siya sa videoke ngunit wala naman sa tono. Halos tawanan lamang ang naririnig ko habang kumakanta siya.
***
The drinking spree ended at midnight. Therefore, Storm and I would sleep here tonight.
I wandered my eyes around Storm's room. My gaze paused on the picture frame hanging on the wall beside the cabinet. It was a picture of three kids sitting on the grass. In the middle was a girl, and on either side of her were two boys. One was Kirby and one was... Storm. They were so cute! But I wasn't familiar with the girl in the middle. She was not Ate Peachy because she possessed different eyes - she was so beautiful, though. But, I had a clue who it might be. Kirby had told me before that Storm, Demi and him were childhood best friends. So, it was possible that the girl was Demi.
I sat down on the bed.
"May mga damit na hindi ginagamit si Peachy. Use those for now," Storm told me who was now sitting on the bed while wearing his shoes off. "Wait, ipakukuha kita ng damit." Lumabas siya ng kuwarto.
I was about to lie down on the bed when my eyes caught the blue photo album that was placed on the bedside table. I decided to take it, stared at the cover before opening it. Storm's face pulled up to the front, wearing a black toga. It was a graduation photo. I turned the page, then I saw a picture of two people in a whole body shot - one was wearing a black fitted dress while the other one was in a toga. They were kissing. Nakayakap ang lalaki sa baywang ng babae habang ang babae naman ay nakapalupot ang mga braso sa leeg ng lalaki. May ibang shot pa na katulad lang ng anggulo pero parehas na nakangiti na sa camera.
I could see the woman's face now. I thought it was Demi because she looked like the girl on the picture with Kirby and Storm. She was gorgeous―very gorgeous. Nilipat ko pa sa ibang pahina, at halos ang laman niyon ay sina Storm at Demi, habang ang iba naman ay noong kabataan ni Storm.
"They have a lot of memories together. So sweet..." I whispered. They looked so perfect together. Hindi lang sila bagay kun'di bagay na bagay. For some unknown reasons, I felt something clench in my chest.
May isang picture doon na nasa beach sila. Demi was wearing a white two-piece swimsuit. She was so d*mn sexy.
I stopped when the door creaked open. I quickly closed the photo album and slowly looked up to Storm. Napatitig siya sa photo album na hawak ko.
"Oops! Sorry," sabi ko at nag-peace sign sa kaniya. Kalaunan, napangiwi ako.
Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang tipid na ngumiti lamang siya at nilapag sa kama ang mga damit na hawak niya. "Here," aniya.
Mabilis na ibinalik ko muna sa pinagkuhanan ko ang photo album bago dinampot ang black t-shirt at cotton white shorts na dala ni Storm. Pagkatapos kong magpalit, naabutan ko si Storm na hawak ang photo album na hawak ko kanina, inaayos ang mga litrato na naroon.
I sat beside him and leaned against the headboard, watching what he was doing.
"Demi is your ex-girlfriend, right?" lakas-loob na tanong ko.
Alam kong hindi ko dapat panghimasukan ang personal na buhay niya, pero tinubuan kasi ako ng kuryosidad―kuryosidad nga ba?
"Yeah..." he replied and heaved a sigh. Then, he closed the photo album.
"Uh, nabanggit kasi sa akin ni Kirby. He told me that you three are best friends," paliwanag ko.
"Yes, since we were a kid," he said and glanced at me.
"But I met Kirby in Las Vegas when I was eight years old. Does it mean Kirby left you and Demi?" I asked.
He looked at me and nodded his head. "Iniwan niya kami at sobrang nakakasakit ng loob," he joked.
I chuckled and continued the story, "Then we became best friends. Kung 'di niya kayo iniwan, I would be lonely all of my life."
That was true. Kirby was the only friend of mine.
"God always has a purpose for everything," he said and smiled, "Sometimes, we're being sad when somebody leaves us, whether they go to other places or they pass away, but we don't know the purpose why it happened. Only God knows. As you said, you'll be lonely for the rest of your life if Kirby did not leave us."
I got his point.
When somebody leaves us, there is someone who will not be alone because that person who leaves will be with someone who needs someone more than we do.
But there was one more thing that was clouding up my mind. "Are you telling me that it is the will of God when a person dies, somebody gets sick, some women get raped, babies are being aborted, families get massacred, and when somebody has a miserable life?"
Tila hindi niya inasahan ang sinabi ko dahil natahimik siya nang ilang sandali.
"God just simply permits evil," he said, "James 1:13-14 says, 'When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.' God permits evil but doesn't cause it, and He has a reason and purpose for whatever He permits."
He paused for a few seconds before speaking again, "In King James Version of Isaiah 45:7, it says, 'I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.' And a lot of Bible readers misunderstand this. In the 1611 King James Version of the Bible, there's a verse in Isaiah 45:7 that might seem like it says God created moral evil, but that's not what it actually means. In this context, the Hebrew word 'ra' is better translated as 'calamity' rather than 'evil.' This is why other Bible translations use 'calamity' instead of 'evil' in this verse. It's important to understand that diseases, suffering, and death are not things that God wants. Instead, they happen because people make choices using their free will. In order for good to exist, people must have the ability to choose to do bad things. This is why evil exists – because people have the freedom to make choices, both good and bad. That is also the reason why God made many commandments that are written in the Bible because He wants to show to His people what are the sins and what are not so that they will know what to obey and avoid."
"It's related to what happened to Adam and Eve. God gave them a choice to disobey Him," I said.
He nodded his head and said, " followed by the disobedience of our first human ancestor, Adam" Bahagya siyang napangiti sa huling sinabi niya.
I gradually understood what he said. However, there were still some things about God that I was still curious about.
"I understand that sometimes we don't understand why such things are happening, but always remember that God is always good and just. 1 John 1:5 says 'God is light, and there is no darkness at all in Him.' It means He will never do unjust and evil things," he said.
"But why does He permit evil to harm innocents?"
"We can never judge God's ways and thoughts," he said, "Remember this, Fara..." He looked at me straight into the eyes as he spoke in a soft tone. "God has a secret that you don't have to think about, because the mind of man cannot reach the mind of God. Do you understand?"
Napalunok ako at wala sa sariling tumango.
Binalik niya ang photo album sa lamesita. I was just looking at him while he was doing that.
"Do you wanna know what happened to us?" he asked me. I knew he was referring to Demi.
I did not answer. I just waited for him to start the story.
"When Kirby left us, we developed feelings for each other," he began. "It's not impossible, right? Because we understand each other, we share personal problems, we share secrets and more other things that best friends can do. And at my young age, I already knew that I liked her... more than just a best friend. Some years passed by, we became teenagers and she turned sixteen years old and so do I. She confessed her feelings to me and I confessed mine. We became lovers that time. We were legal in my family, but not in hers, because there was an issue between our families. But because she loves me, we decided to hide our relationship from her family..."
Secret relationship. I remembered my past relationship.
"We lasted three years, until she left me..." he said, which surprised me. That was a long time for a relationship already and she left him?
"Why?" I asked.
"I don't know... Sana nga alam ko. We were fine and happy together. We even lived together," he said in a low voice. I saw sadness in his eyes.
"Were you already a Christian that time?" I asked.
He nodded and answered, "One month before she left me. And because I was just new in Christianity during that time, although I was already a Christian, I still attempted to commit suicide."
I was shocked. What the hell? Suicide? Maybe he loved Demi that much, I thought.
"But God spoke in my heart, 'I am your life, not her.' But I asked Him, 'Why her?' And I realized that He just prepared me for a breakthrough. I know there were so many mistakes in our relationship, and God delivered me from those. Maybe it hurts, but it's the will of God. I started to join ministries - that is being an evangelist and a music minister. It was God's way for me to respond to His call to me, and God used me for His glory since then."
My lips parted in wonder. His story just amazed me.
"What if b-bumalik siya?" I asked out of the blue. I did my best not to sound like a bitter girlfriend who is jealous of her boyfriend's ex.
He smiled bitterly and said, "Past is past."
***
I woke up in the morning without Storm's presence beside me. I washed before going out of the room.
Napatigil ako sa harap ng isang pintuan na nakasiwang nang kaunti dahil may naririnig akong nag-uusap pero mahina lang. Lumapit ako roon. Natanaw ko si Storm na nakaupo sa gilid ng kama, kausap si Tita Thalia na nakahiga sa kama.
"I'm getting tired," Tita Thalia said in a weak voice.
"No, you'll be fine," Storm told her, trying to encourage her.
"Let's just accept the fact, Storm," Tita Thalia said
He gently touched Tita Thalia's forehead and said softly, "God is good, Ma."
Tita Thalia shook her head and replied, "Storm, I respect your faith. Masaya ako na masaya ka sa pagiging Kristiyano mo, but my faith is not like yours."
"Ma..." Storm softly protested. He sounded uneasy.
"If God wants to heal me, he will heal me," Tita Thalia said like she was sure about it.
"God wants your faith," Storm defended.
"Storm..." Tita Thalia softly said and caressed Storm's face. "Just be strong and continue serving God."
"Ma..." There was objection in Storm's voice.
"Ikaw na ang nagsabi, let His will be done. Kung talagang mamamatay ako, mamamatay ako. Let's just accept it," she said in a tough voice.
They fell silent.
"Promise me that you will take care of Fara," Tita Thalia broke the silence. "Matutunan mo rin siyang mahalin."
I was overwhelmed by the last words she said.
"I don't know if I could still love someone as much as I have loved Demi."
Kahit na inasahan ko na ang sagot ni Storm, tila may ibang epekto ang sinabi niya sa sistema ko. I felt like―err! Never mind.
"I'm not forcing you to love Fara; just take care of her."
I heard footsteps upstairs near the room of Tita Thalia, so I quickly walked away and returned to Storm's bedroom.
I thumped on the bed and closed my eyes.
I didn't like what Tita Thalia said: "Matututunan mo rin siyang mahalin..."
No, I don't want him to love me and I don't want to love him. Our marriage will be complicated. We will just hurt each other, I thought.