Tell me in the comments how you envision Lilly to look like! I'm intrigued to know!
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Christmas Eve, 2005
I just dropped my stuff off at the band house for tonight and tomorrow and Dougie and I were now going to spend the next hour (give or take) in the car.
Since Dougie had just got his license (and bought an Audi Q6), he was very excited to be able to drive home rather than take the tube.
Dougie and I were the first to leave of the other boys, and they felt it very necessary to walk us out to the car.
"You kids have fun." Danny laughs from the deck.
"Alright, thank you Danny." Dougie says.
"And tell your mum we say hi." Tom says.
"I will, Tom." Dougie says again.
"And make sure you bring Lilly back in one piece, unlike the last girl." Harry says.
"Harry!" Dougie says. "He's joking." He says, turning to me from the other side of the car. I smile at him.
"Bye!" Danny says, as we get in the car. We buckle our seatbelts and Dougie looks at me.
"You ready?" He asks.
"Yeah." I smile.
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"Lilly, can I ask you something you may not want to answer?" Dougie asked after we had been talking and driving for about twenty minutes.
"Sure." I say.
"When is the last time you spent Christmas with your family?" He asks.
"Last year." I say. Dougie looks at me quickly and smiles. "Oh I don't know...1993? Yeah...something like that." I say.
"That's a long time." Dougie says.
"Christmas was never a big thing to me until last year." I say.
"I guess...well I guess I feel the same way." Dougie says.
"Why? You have a family." I say.
"Yeah but..." He stopped, as if he were confused. "My dad. He was there...he was home and...I don't know if this makes sense but...my house felt more empty with him there than it did without him."
"Yeah...I get it."
"But nevertheless, there was always a missing space."
"Was?" I ask.
"Well yeah. Then I met the boys and Fletch. And you." He says. "And now we're here."
"Here we are."
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Dougie and I pulled into his driveway and I felt my stomach flip. He undid his seatbelt and looked at me.
"You okay?" He asks. I shake my head.
"I feel sick." I say.
"Are you okay?" He asks again, putting his hand on my shoulder. I nod.
"I think I'm nervous." I say.
"What?" He asks. "Lilly, they're the lowest maintenance people ever. They love everyone. If they could love my dad, they'll love you." He laughs. I nod and take my seatbelt off.
Dougie and I walk up to the front door and he rings the doorbell. I can hear footsteps from inside and the closer I get, the more worried it get.
When the door opens, I don't eve get a good look at Dougie's mum before she engulfs me in a hug.
"Oh Darling! I've heard so much about you!" She squeals.
"Mum! She can't breathe." I hear Dougie laugh from behind me. Dougie's mum lets me go, and hugs him.
She's not tall, but to be fair, neither is Dougie really. She's blonde, like Dougie and has blue eyes.
"Is this your girlfriend?" I hear a girl's voice from beyond Dougie's mum. I look to see a girl with dark blonde hair and blue eyes on the stairs. Dougie sighs.
"Lilly, this is my little sister, Jazzie." He says. "And no, Jazz. She's not my girlfriend."
"Right." Jazzie says, giving Dougie a quick side hug.
Dougie's mum leads us through the house into the kitchen. The house is small, one level, and every room seems crammed together.
"I'm making a turkey dear. Do you eat meat?" She asks.
"Yes." I say.
"Good, good. and potatoes, we've got pie for dessert." She smiles, whisking something on a stove. "That reminds me, Dougie, could you run out and pick me up some extra sugar?" She asks.
"Yeah mum. Come on Lil." He says, I go to leave, but his mum stops us.
"Lilly doesn't have to go. Let her get settled. New surroundings." She says.
"You okay Lil?" Dougie says quietly. I smile.
"I'm great." I say. He nods and makes his way out.
"Dougie has told me loads about you." His mum says, and I wonder how much.
"Oh." I say.
"He's a good boy Lilly. I promise." She says, turning to me. I was sitting on a chair from the table. "He's done so much for Jazz and me. I...I can't thank him enough." I think of when Dougie told me about them eating canned food for every meal. He must've bought them this food.
"Ms. Poynter-"
"Sam." She smiles. I nod.
"Sam...Dougie is amazing. He's really great. I promise." I say.
"I...I don't want to scare you away but...I think Dougie's father took apart of Dougie when he left and...he's a very shy boy." Sam said, and I nodded, thinking back to how Dougie took three weeks to talk to me when I first met him. "But the first weekend after you started working, he came home, and...I've never heard Dougie talk about a person like he talked about you."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"He thought the world of you. You were the most intelligent person he said he had ever met." She smiles.
"Are you sure he was talking about me?" I ask.
"I'm sure. I couldn't forget something like that." Sam says, looking at the floor sadly and turning back to her cooking. I get up from my seat and go to her. "I just get nervous sometimes. I know he's only a few years younger than the other boys, but sometimes that can make such a difference. I just wish someone could look after him, take care of him, you know?"
"Sam?" I say, and she looks up at me. "Fletch and I take care of your son...and believe me, we will not stop."
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"Thank you mum, that was amazing." Jazzie says to Sam as she starts to clear the table. Dougie never told me his mum was such a good cook.
"Sam, let me help you with those." I say, getting up from my spot next to Dougie and grabbing his plate.
"I go out to get a bit of sugar, and you two are on a first name basis?" Dougie asks. "How could you betray me, Lilly?" He jokes. I smile at him.
"You're lucky to have this girl Dougie." Sam said.
"Well that just got awkward." Jazzie said.
"You're right Jazz, and speaking of which, Lilly, can I talk to you alone outside about band stuff, for a minute?" Dougie asks. I nodded putting a dish down and following him outside. The small house had a porch on the front of it, and it overlooked a field with tall grass planted along the side of a hill. The grass went on for miles, almost like a sea.
Dougie sat on the edge of the porch so that his feet hung down, and I did the same. It was cold, and I didn't have a jacket, so I looped one of my arms around Dougie's. He looked at it like he was afraid for a moment.
I definitely liked Dougie. A lot. But I knew the rules, and I was okay with them. And I knew we had already broke the rules twice, and I know it would be so easy for me to break them again, but I couldn't and I was okay with that. The whole situation was...just okay.
"Lilly?" Dougie asked me. I looked at him. "Thank you...for coming." I smiled.
"Thank you for having me. You know what, if I couldn't live in London...I would want to live in Bolton, because it's my home. But if I couldn't live in Bolton, I would definitely want to live in Essex." I say.
"Really?" He asks. I nod. "But when I thanked you, it's just that-" He stopped himself, and I waited for him to finish. He sighed and looked down. "My mum, I think gets lonely sometimes." But I kinda felt like that's not what Dougie meant to say.
"You know," I say, changing to a lighter topic, "this grass sea is very tempting." I say. Dougie chuckles a little.
"Jazzie and I used to run as fast as we could through it until we would collapse." He smiled.
"Let's do it." I say, standing up, and jumping off the porch.
"What?" Dougie says, as I make my way into the tall grass that almost covers my head.
"Come on!" I say back to him, as he stands on the porch.
"No, Lil-"
"Woah! Dougie look at this! I say, spinning in a circle and running my hands over the grass around me, so it flattens as I spin and then pops back up.
"Lilly, seriously, there are ticks in there and-"
"Oh come on! Just because you're so minted these days doesn't mean you don't need a good run about every now and again!" I joke
"You don't have a coat on Lil and I don't want you to catch a cold or-"
But before he can finish I'm running as fast as I can in the opposite direction, and I swear, I hear Dougie behind me.
For about five minutes, I run and jump through the grass as fast as possible, laughing and hollering, and I hear Dougie behind me, doing the same.
The cold wind whips and bites at my face and my lungs burn from the cold everytime I breath as I come to a clearing as I collapse on the ground laughing, and Dougie does the same.
We're rolling around laughing, and then we're just laying, under the stars. I can't see Dougie from the corner of my eye, but I know he's there.
"Wait...what did you want to talk to me about...with the band?" I ask.
"Nothing." Dougie laughs. "I just wanted to come outside with you."
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Dougie and I returned home, or, to the band house. We walked in and sighed simultaniously, standing at the door.
"Guys?" Dougie looked up the stairs and then around. "Harry?" He called out. Then he turned to me and looked at me, and then he kissed me.
I was confused. Why was Dougie sad? We had such a great day with his family. Or at least I thought we did...
I pulled away from him and looked up at him.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"What?" He asks. "Why would you think something's wrong? I'm happy Lilly." And then I caught on.
"Well we only kiss and...stuff...when we're sad. But, I mean, if you want to when we're happy then I guess-" I begin.
Dougie walks away from me and then turns back around.
"You know what, Lilly? Something is wrong." He says. I'm confused. One second he is okay and the next he is upset? What's going on?
"What is it?" I ask, concerned and confused. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong is the fact that every time I want to be with you, you assume something is wrong." He says, and I think I know where this is going. I am scared, and I don't know much, but I don't think that's how this is supposed to feel.
"I like you, Lilly." He says.
"I like you too, Dougie."
"No, like, a lot, Lilly."
"I know." I say.
"I... don't...I don't do well with people. I'm shy, and It can take me weeks or months sometimes to warm up to someone. But then I met you. I met you, and it was like you were so extraordinary for me. So easy...and I wasn't afraid. And it's weird. So if I know that you have even the slightest thoughts about me, the same way I do you...well that's something I have to fight for." He says.
I stay quiet. I don't know what to say. He sighs.
"I know I sound stupid-"
"No....no." I say, and I hesitate but put my hand on the side of his face. He looks at me. "I like you too Dougie. I do. But..." I stopped myself. Yes, it's true Dougie and I being together is against the rules...every rule. But I can't help but think about what Sam told me. "We can't be together."
"Why?" Dougie asks quietly. Less like he's begging and more like he wants justification.
"The public, the boys-"
"Why do they have to know? This is us...this would be ours. No one else's." He convinces me.
"What about Fletch?" I ask.
"What he doesn't know can't hurt him! Or us" He smiles. "If you really like me, as much as you're saying you do...as much as I do...I can't...we can't let everyone stop us." He says.
And with everything Dougie said, and everything Sam said, and everything I feel...I can't physically bring myself to say no.
"You're right." I say.
"I'm right?" He asks. "I mean... I'm right."
"We should be together regardless of what anyone else says or their rules. No one will know...but us." I say. He smiles and hugs me.
I bury my head in his neck and smile to myself.
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