I'll Always Be Everywhere You Are
September 1, 2010
12:53 a.m.
Armani (POV)
"You should go back, you know?"
"Who said that?!"
I've been in this dark pit for what felt like hours on top of hours, just trying to figure out a way to escape this pit of despair.
I don't even know how I got here. One minute I see Mel yelling at me to get down, and the next I wake up here. I was surrounded by nothing but blackness, except for the faint light in the distance. Not wanting to get lost in this abyss, I just followed the light even though I got no closer to it.
I really just wanted to get out of here and go check on my Best friend, the look he had on his face has been haunting me the whole time I've been in here. I've never seen Mel so frightened in all my time knowing him.
All I wanted to do was get out of this place, but how can I do that when I don't know where 'this' is.
Though I was in this dark creepy place, I felt nothing but warmth and comfort. It's like when it's raining outside, but the sun is out. You want to be all sad and gloomy but the sun makes the rain so beautiful when it falls from the sky that the gloomy feeling goes away.
I continued my walk towards the light, but quickly stopped once I heard the sobs of a voice I knew all to well.
"Baybeh I can't lose ya' too, please come through fa' me... I gotta keep my promise ta' ya'. We gotta be some self made niggas," I heard him say as he laughed followed by a sniffle.
" Juss' come back Mani— fa'eva and a day can't be dis' damn short."
"August! I'm right hea'!"
I started running to where I thought his voice was coming from, but since it was echoing all over the place I couldn't pinpoint an exact location. So I just ran everywhere.
"Baybeh boy I'm hea', please help me! Tell me wea' ya' at!"
I stopped running and looked down at my body and cringing at this new pain shooting through every inch of my being. I noticed my left arm and hand were bleeding and then notice the three holes penetrating my rib cage and side.
"Ahhh! What da' fuck is goin' on?!" I screeched dropping to my knees from the agony.
"Wea' am I, why am I hea'?!"
"Only you can answer that my love."
That voice, that light soft voice. The way the words sounded so distant yet so close to me. It was her. I don't know how, but it was her.
"M-Mommy?" I called in disbelief.
The light that I once was following started to grow in size, and might I say it was the most beautiful thing that I've ever laid eyes on.
But it was what stepped out of the light that made me forget about all the pain I was in and run right towards it. I ran with a speed fueled by love and happiness to see her image before me. My tears drizzled and fell on the trail that I was leaving behind me. No matter how bad my legs begged my nerves to stop sending them signals to run as fast as they could, I couldn't stop. I had to run to the woman infront me full throttle.
I jumped into her arms and held on to her neck as I let the tears consume my vision.
"Oh my God mommy, how are you even hea' wit' me?! Why-Why are you hea'?" I asked breathlessly over her shoulder.
I know I asked for an answer but I didn't really care for it, I'm just happy I'm here with her.
"Because my daughter is lost and I need to help her find her way back."
"I'm not lost, not when I'm wit' you ma."
"Oh but you are my sweet child, look around you, all this darkness and silence."
I stepped away from her embrace so that I could get a good look at her, since I hadn't when I first seen her.
"God thank you so much." I whispered to myself.
She looked like the woman she used to be all those years ago. Those bags that once hung under her eyes hand diminished and her thin hair was now back to it's original full bouncy state. I then looked at her eyes, her eyes that use to always hold a cold distant stare. I looked deep into them and there it was, the one thing that I hadn't seen in her for years, love. I saw the adoration she had for me, the same adoration she had for me when I was nine years old.
She was back.
"Mama ya' beautiful again." I gasped in amazement.
"Oh so I was never beautiful to you." She asked raising an eyebrow at me.
"No its juss'- ya' was- I, neva'mind."
She laughed that beautiful laugh that I remembered, putting a child-like smile on my face. I was still a small little girl around her.
"I'm just kidding baby girl, but what's really on my mind is why you're here."
I looked around in the darkness again and then back at her.
"Ma, where exactly is 'hea'?"
"Oh this my love is where most lost unsure souls end up," She looked at me and smiled,"Souls like yourself."
"What do you mean?"
She started walking and I quickly followed behind her.
"When souls of people that are alive are confused and unsure they come here, most of them wallow away not knowing which decision to make, so one is made for them based off the life they lived and the purity within them."
"Decision? I questioned not understanding.
"When you are a lost soul you have a decision of whether you want to stay or go back, the bad thing is if you stay you don't know whether you're going to the light or the flames."
"What'chu was mama?"
"I was you," She said flashing me that heart stopping smile,"I was lost just like you. I didn't know whether to come back or to stay, I roamed around in this darkness for days until I made my decision."
I looked at her and realized what she just said.
"Wayment, you had a choice ta' come back?!"
"Yes, but-,"
"You left me and Kali and ya' had'a choice ta' come back?!"
"Armani, if I would have come back I would have ended up right back here, except this time hell would be my new home."
"But-,"
She held her hand up silencing my talking and making me look at her.
"If I would have come back I knew I wouldn't have taken my second chance at life to be the mother I needed to be to you girls, I was too far gone, and not by choice. So even if I decided to stay and I got sent to hell, my decision would still be the same."
I tried to hold back the tears but I couldn't. I knew she was right, but dammit I wanted my mama to see how strong I had become. I needed her to see how I kept her in Kali's life, even though she wasn't here with us. I keep her memory alive.
But most importantly I wanted her to meet the man that made all this possible for us, the man who opened up doors that I thought were locked. I needed her to meet the man who made me face my fears and stand up to my past as if it was nothing.
He reminded me so much of her before the drugs took over her, and I just wanted her to meet his crazy tail.
My best friend Melvin La'Branch the third.
I guess she noticed my mood change, because she wrapped her arms around me; only making me cry harder into her chest. She smelled just like she used to. Honey mixed with a hint of cinnamon. It had been so long since I held her. Even before she died I hadn't gotten a chance to embrace her. I'd forgotten how good she actually felt. How warm her embrace was.
"I missed ya' so much." I cried.
"I know my love but I've been there every step of the way."
"You have?"
"Yes ma'am,"She nodded with a stern, yet playful, look," When you got diagnosed with that terrible condition I was there, and I was even there when you and Kali were at the park, I was there when you realized how in love you were with that young man there."
I glanced over to where she was pointing and seen August with dried up tears on his face laying on Kali, who face resembled his. He was sleeping but he was holding on to what looked like my hand.
"What happened?"
"I can't tell you that baby girl, but I can tell you that no matter what I will always love you and your sister, okay?"
"O-Ok."
"Now are you ready to make your decision?"
Without hesitation I answered her.
"I want ta' stay hea' wit' you."
She walked over to me and caressed my cheek with her thumb.
"Are you sure this is the decision you want to make, are you sure you want to leave them behind?"
I looked up at the image before me again and this time I seen me and August together. It was when he was holding me in the rain and telling me how much he loved me. It then switched to me and Kali from a couple years ago when I first brought her to Mel's house and we were in the guest room playing. Another image appeared and it was August and I laughing about how August the third had the best parents in the planet.
As I was about to turn away it faded into a memory that I don't remember making.
It was me slumped over in Mel's truck, but I was unconscious.
"Mama what is dis'?" I asked facing her.
She kept her focus on the image in front of us, so I did the same.
When I turned back I seen Chandra wailing over someone's body and telling Travis to get off of her. I watched as she kissed his cheek repeatedly asking for him to come back, until Travis picked her up and carried her away. I walked up and analyzed the picture in front of me, it looked so familiar to me.
As if I had- had a eureka moment, I jumped back not believing my eyes.
"Did dis' happen?"
"It's time to make your decision." She said redirecting my question.
"Wait mama!" I said quickly.
I looked down at my feet and let the tears fall from my eyes not wanting to leave her.
"Can I juss' stay hea' wit' you, juss' a little longer, please." I whispered.
"Oh my love," she came and wrapped her arms around me,"It doesn't work that way baby girl, you have to make your decision now."
Even though I wanted to be wrapped up with her like this for as long as I could, I knew I couldn't leave them behind. They need me just as bad as I need them. Yes, I love my mother and wanted to be with her, but I wouldn't dare leave my family to grieve over me when I have the choice to go back to them. I love them entirely too much. With that being said, I'm going home.
"Your decision has been made." My mother spoke.
"But I didn't say anything."
She pulled away from me and placed her hand over my heart.
"Its not your words that make the choice for you, it's this beautiful thing right here,"She said patting my chest," And it was the right one." She smiled at me.
She pulled me into a tight embrace and I did the same.
"I'll love you for forever and a day my love." She said into my ear
"I'll luh' you fa' fa'eva and a day too my love." I smile into her chest.
While we held on to each other the light had reappeared behind her and a tall figure stepped out with a huge set of wings on his back. I mean they were gigantic and an astonishing shade of white, just beautiful. He had a halo that could light up the universe gravitating right above his head. His entire body emitted light from his head to his toe, making it impossible to make out anything other than this figure being a man. The massive spirit made his way out of the light completely and outstretched — what I believe— was his hand.
"Be good out thea' bessfran', I luh' ya' fa'eva and a day."
No....no....no
It can't be who I think it is....No it's not him, is it?
Taking my focus off my mother, I looked at the tall figure standing beside her and dropped to my knees when I realized who it was.
Dressed in an all white suit with wings to match stood my Bestfriend. My happiness was standing right there before me. Gold lacing his features and a faint light still around him, as if it were his permanent aura. My love, my Melly B, my hero from the years past was here in this place that I couldn't escape. It broke me seeing him here. He was honestly the man that made me to be as selfless and courageous as I am. Mel gave me a life when the one that I was handed turned into shambles. Mel was the one person that looked at me and didn't turn away from me, nor did he judge me. He was me and Kali's Angel— he was my bestfriend.
I clutched my chest with my good hand and began to sob.
"No"I shook my head," I change my mind, I wanna stay! If you hea',"I hiccuped," I wanna stay!"
He came over to me with a sad smile forming and cradled me in his arms and rocked me back and forth.
"I luh' ya' so much girl,"He started," I swea' I do."
"I luh' ya' too bessfren'."
"But'cha can't stay Mani, ya' know ya' can't. No matter how bad ya' want to, ya' heart and soul wanna be wit' them so gone go."
"Bessfren' plea-,"
He laughed and looked back at my mother who was now trying to keep in tears.
"How da' hell ya' put up wit' ha' hard headed ass?"
He then looked back at me and smiled the smile I will never forget.
"I'm gone always be ery'wea you are bessfran' I promised ya', rememba'? And ya' know Melly B neva' break'a promise."
I nodded my head and smiled up at him.
"Fa'eva and a day bessfren'?"
"Fa'eva and a day bessfran'." He smiled down at me.
He set me on my feet and pulled me into his chest, I let my body rest into his knowing this would be the last time I felt his warmth wrapped around me, knowing I would never get this feeling back.
"I luh' ya' so much Armani ."
"I luh' ya' too Mel." I sighed closing my eyes," I luh' you too."
He pulled away and stood back by the light with my mother and they both sent me smiles and turned to walk into the light until he stopped.
"Tell Aug don't fa'get his promise ta' me, aight?"
I nodded my head making the tears slip out of my eyes.
"Nah get'cho cry baby ass outta hea' and go make meh' some big headed ass nieces and nephews! And don't neglect em' like y'all doin' August da' third, I swea' I'll call child protective services from up hea'!"
I giggled at his silliness, but this moment was so bitter sweet. This would be the last time I seen my best friend, the man who brought happiness and then some into my life, and even now he still manages to make me laugh.
"Awww shut da' hell up boy." I sniffled.
Laughing at my remark he turned back towards the light preparing to go in again.
But surprisingly he turned back towards me again, this time I seen the tears streaming down his face before he let out a soft chuckle and shook his head.
"I luh' y'all man."
"We luh-," Before I could tell him we loved him to he was gone and so was the light. Turning towards the other direction I smiled and continued my journey home until I seen another light at the opposite end of this dark creepy place.
Approaching the brightness, I saw my Kali and my August laying there asleep; the two looking as distressed and hopeless as ever. I peered into their faces o sadness and debated if this was what I really wanted to do. Do I really wanna go through life without my best friend? Will I truly be able to make it?
I stood there for another minute or two and remembered what my best friend just said to me.
With his words planted in my head I stepped proudly into the light with a smile, because I knew I wasn't without him. He was everywhere I was, and it would be that way for forever and a day.
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Rest In Paradise Melly B again and Armani and Kali's mom👼👼
I cried so hard writing this dude like what the fuck is life bruh.
Please you guys cherish your loved ones while they're here, anything could happen.
Excuse all mistakes!
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MeMe loves y'all
Xoxoxo
Just a real nigga commin' through...😢