It was late Friday night, technically it was Saturday morning, and Hia was not home yet. I had managed to get a very fussy Strawberry to sleep. She was not happy about not getting her evening dose of Daddy. I was not happy about it either. I checked location services, and he was still at the karaoke bar he had been frequently lately. They had a new client from Korea, and she was very involved in the design process. She frequently took her staff to eat, drink, and sing karaoke. Hia tried to explain that it would affect morale if he did not go. Both he and his partner were trapped into going out several nights a week and partying.
I tried to understand, I really did. Strawberry was no longer a baby anymore and was a toddler, and boy could she whip around the house. She was a handful, but it would not hurt her to delay getting Hia's pheromones until he came home. It just made her cross and she could talk now. Not much, but enough to say our names, and objects, and ask some questions.
'Dada. Want Dada. Dada now.'
When she realized Dada was not coming to her she decided to go to him and would try and open the front door to go look for him. We tried everything to stop her from opening the door. Childproof knobs, gates, even alarms. Nothing deterred her until we put a simple door jam at the top of the door. Which meant, I had to stay up and wait for Hia to let him in.
Let's just say, I must have been a harrowing sight for Hia when he came home at 1 AM. Apologizing for keeping me up as I wordlessly walked to the bedroom, made sure he showered, scented Star and then I went to sleep. Why was I being such a bitch? Because more often than not he came home smelling like that beta's perfume.
The biggest potential rival to a mated omega was a beta. They could not mate, had mild to no pheromones, and could easily go in and out of relationships. For an unattached beta who wanted to get an itch scratched, there was nothing better than a married alpha. No alpha would walk away from their mate which meant they would not be annoying and chase after the beta.
To compensate for their lack of pheromones, Beta's often wore perfume. Eau de perfume, or Eau de toilette.
Yeah, I'll show you the business end of a toilet if you keep touching my alpha you bitch.
And Hia had been coming home almost every night reeking of that filthy whore's scent.
No matter what he said, he only made it worse. He swore he never touched her, and he did not let her touch him. But omegas are extremely sensitive to scents and coming home smelling of another was guaranteed to cause upheaval.
Even though I knew Hia loved me and would never cheat on me, the nights of waiting for him were wearing me down. Having too much time to think about him laughing at her jokes, drinking, singing with her, helping her to his car, and making sure she got home was causing a riot in my mind. And pretty soon, something was going to snap.
The day I snapped was on a Saturday. The weekends were supposed to be ours, but Hia had been pulled away for all sorts of emergencies and these "emergencies" were interfering with family time. But hey, I did my best to be supportive and on days like that I would meet my besties or go to Mom and Dad's.
This Saturday I met James, Film, Nat, and Max for brunch at a kid-friendly restaurant. I loved this place because it had a play area for wiggly toddlers and an attendant in there with them, and you could see the play area from your seat.
James and Nat were aware of the problems I was having with Hia's client and Max and Film probably did too because James and Nat would not be able to keep a secret like that and not vent to their alphas.
"I can't believe how big she is getting.", Film said.
He had been looking at Star a little wistfully lately. James told us that he wanted to have kids but wouldn't until he found out what happened to his parents. This suited James because he was young and still wanted to have fun.
"She is turning two in four months.", I said.
"It is going so fast.", commented Nat.
Nat and Max were mated and were trying to get pregnant. This meant that Nat was over a lot more helping, trying to learn everything he could about being a parent. Somedays I was afraid Star would put him off ever having children because she was such a gremlin. But I was grateful for the help. Everyone at this table had an open-ended invitation into our home. Especially after everything we had been through together.
"NuNew, you should come out with us tonight. When was the last time you went dancing? Come on.", Nat said, trying to coax me.
"I can't, we never get to see Hia, and he will be home tonight. We need family time. Another time.", I said.
"I told you.", James said, addressing Nat and shaking his head.
It's not that I did not want to go dancing. I did. I was feeling good about myself. I had lost the baby weight, and I was learning to embrace the differences in my body. I was curvier, and not as timid. Confidence looked good on me. I even had a new outfit that I bought as a reward for losing weight. Tonight would have been the perfect time to wear it. Oh well, another time.
That was when I saw Strawberry starting to get mad at another little boy and I stiffened ready to run in incase it turned ugly.
"My turn,", Star said.
The little blond nemesis who was a little older than Star shook his head and kept playing with the toy. Star stared at the boy and tried again.
"Your turn all done. My turn.", Star said, and put her hand on the toy.
In all fairness, this was what I had been teaching Star. The concept of my turn your turn and waiting for her turn. Star had done what I asked of her. What I had not taught her yet was what to do when someone refused to cooperate. Knowing Star, it was going to get diabolical.
The boy pushed her hand off and turned away. I stood up.
"All done. My turn.", Star said, louder now.
I got ready to hop the little fence around the play area. I did not think she would hit, but she would definitely do something. The attendant was busy with another situation and so those two were on their own. Which I believe was the best way to parent. Teach them and let them try for themselves and then fine-tune. Stepping in now would stop them from developing problem-solving skills. But no one said I could not hover.
"NO!", the boy yelled.
Star looked for me and saw me standing there. I smiled and mimed taking an exaggerated deep breath. My good girl took a deep breath too then faced the boy.
"Share. Your turn. My turn. Your turn. My turn. No, your turn, your turn.", Star said.
"My turn my turn my turn my turn.", the boy said.
My eyes widened. My daughter was the light of my family's lives. Everyone doted on her. She had no siblings and therefore had never been refused like this. When I saw Star's face get red I started to move.
"Where mama?", Star said and pointed to his chest.
"Mama?", he asked and pointed at himself.
"Mama.", she said and pointed to him again.
The little boy pointed a pudgy finger at a distracted woman sitting at the table across the play area opposite where we were sitting.
"Mama now.", Strawberry said and began dragging the little boy who was still clutching the toy to where his mother was.
Curious, I walked around and waited to see what she would do.
Strawberry walked right up to the table and said in a loud voice.
"Not Star Momma."
OMG, she did not know the lady's name so she came up with this. I couldn't wait to tell Hia.
The woman did not register that she was being addressed so she did not turn around. The boy, who was probably a nice kid, decided to help.
"Mama.", he said.
The woman immediately turned around and took in the site of Star holding on to her son by the wrist. Two sets of eyes peered up at her and she smiled.
"How adorable. Jacob, did you find a friend?"
Star began again.
"Not Star Momma. No share.", Star said and pointed at Jacob.
"Pardon?"
"No share! Jacob no share Star.", Star said.
"Are you Star?"
Star nodded.
"Jacob, did you have your turn already?"
Jacob refused to answer so Star did.
"Jacob turn. Jacob turn. No Star."
"Jacob?"
Sighing Jacob gave Star the toy and then burst into tears and clutched his momma's leg. Star, my heartless gremlin, marched off with the toy and played with it back in the play area. I began to go back to my seat, thinking about how to talk to her about this later. After a few minutes of playing, Star looked around and stood up. Waving to Jacob she said.
"Jacob. Jacob. Your turn."
Wow, was I a proud Mamma! WOW.
Smiling I went back to my seat and the rest of our time together was uneventful.
ΩΩΩ
Standing on the sidewalk outside the restaurant I waited for Hia to come pick us up. I looked at my phone and saw he was a little late, fifteen minutes. Star was still taking a nap twice a day and had fallen asleep in her stroller while we were in the restaurant after I had exchanged numbers with Jacob's mom. We promised to plan a play date. It would be Star's first playdate.
Daydreaming about the perfect places to have a playdate, I lost track of the time. I looked at my phone again. Hia was 30 minutes late. I started to get agitated. This was not like him. If he had his way, we would never leave the house. He was terrified of something happening to us. What if something happened to him? I called Zee but the phone went straight to voicemail and I saw that his phone was set to do not disturb. Hia did not even know he had a do-not-disturb setting. I started to get nervous so I checked his location and saw he was on his way here but was not coming from his office.
I got very still and tried not to jump to conclusions. He was okay. He was on his way. Hia loves me. I said this over and over to myself not wanting to let my insecurities create a made-up story. I would wait for and believe in Hia.
Fifteen minutes later, Hia pulled up, and like an idiot, as soon as I saw him, I forgot about him being late. I couldn't wait to tell him about Star and feel his arms around me. Then I felt his conflict through the bond. Something had happened. As he came around the car to greet me, I could see his face was red and he looked like he had been running his hand through his hair and he only did that when he was stressed out. Before I could ask him if he was okay, he looked around and got cross with me.
"Where is everyone?", Hia asked.
"They left.", I said.
"How long have you been standing out here?"
I wanted to say you have a watch, do the math, but I could feel his agitation. He needed a hug and some of my pheromones. Then once he was calm, I was sure he would tell me what was wrong. I took the remaining steps towards him and then I froze. He reeked of that beta. He had been with that woman. Instead of spending time with us...
"Why didn't you call me? What if something happened? Are you both okay?", Hia asked.
I couldn't answer him. I was confused and overwhelmed and needed to think. I needed to stay calm and not react. Wait until I was more levelheaded and then think about it. Hia was so self-absorbed and in his world that he ignored all the danger signs.
"How could you stand out here for forty-five minutes on the street alone."
He reached for me, but I could not stand that smell. I literally could not tolerate it. It made me my stomach heave, so, I backed away and tried to hide my rejection by turning to Star. I picked her up out of the stroller to put her into the car seat. She wrapped her cute chubby arms around me and murmured into my neck. Hia was standing there staring down at his phone.
"Oh, you did call me. But my phone never rang?", he said.
I rolled my eyes and reached with one hand to open the car door and that was when the beta's stench hit my nostrils. I gagged and backed away, turning my body away from the car to shield Star, as if she was in danger. That beta had been in his car, and recently. I shook my head. We were not getting into that car. Calmly, I put Star back into the stroller. Hia looked up from his phone.
"What is do not disturb?", he asked.
I held my hand out and he put his phone in my hand. I changed his setting back to normal and handed the phone back. I kept smelling her even though I was keeping my distance from Hia and the car, and then I realized. My hands smelled like her. She had touched his phone. His phone, his car, and Hia smelled like that beta. I pulled out my phone and made a call. Tears began leaking down my cheeks.
"Ma, can you come get me?", I asked, it was obvious I was crying.
"Honey, is something wrong?"
My jaw began to ache from holding my emotions together.
"Can you please just come and get me?"
I sent her the address of the restaurant. I couldn't talk. If I talked everything would come rushing out and I still clung to the hope that I was wrong. I had misunderstood and doubted Hia before.
Hia, that numbskull did not even notice I had made a call nor did he notice I was crying. He was furiously texting. His phone rang.
"Baby, I have to get this, can you get Star into the car yourself?"
Without waiting for my answer, he picked up the phone.
"Yes."
"No, I refuse. Then let the account go to someone else.", he said.
Numbly I stood next to Star and watched her sleeping face. I felt disassociated with the events around me and I wanted to go to sleep, but I had Star so with a firm resolve I resisted my instincts. A little voice in my head told me that I was on the verge of dropping and that I needed to calm down.
"Hia is my mate. Hia loves me. Hia would never hurt me.", I said.
"It is unacceptable.", Hia said.
"I don't care. I will find a way to compensate you.", Hia said.
"No, I will not speak with the client and work it out.", Hia said.
"Hia is my mate. Hia loves me. Hia would never hurt me.", I said.
It made me feel a little better. So, I said it again and again and soon it was on a loop in my head. I could hear Hia talking but I could only focus on my baby and my self-soothing. I would think about everything later when I was calm. Briefly, I thought about asking Hia for help, but I felt so much anger and turmoil from him through the bond that it overwhelmed me.
"I don't think you understand me. The answer is no. In fact, you can tell her that I am on my way to the hospital, and I will get a toxicology report and if she makes any trouble about breaking the contract or even breathes a negative word, I will go to the police station and file a report.", Hia said.
"That is my final answer.", Hia said.
Hia reached up and ran his hands through his hair. He faced me but did not really look at me.
"Teerak, something happened today. I'm okay, but I need to take you and Star home. There is something I need to take care of. I will tell you everything when I get home..."
He tried to make eye contact with me and that was when he noticed the tears streaming down my face. He came running over to me.
"Baby, what is wrong? Did someone hurt you?"
I couldn't let him touch me. That smell. I was afraid of dropping. If that happened, then it would be difficult to revive me right away. So, I backed up. I felt Hia probing me through our link probably trying to find out what was wrong.
Just then my mom and dad pulled up. Mom ran to me and immediately knew what was going on.
"He is going to drop. Grab the blanket from the trunk", Ma said.
Within seconds Dad was pushing the blanket into Mom's hands. She carefully wrapped it around me then picked up a sleeping Star and put her into my arms. Ma motioned to Zee to come over but he wouldn't.
"He needs you, Zee, what are you doing?", Ma asked.
"He won't let me near him. I don't know what is wrong. What is wrong with him? Is he hurt?"
"Put him in the car honey.", Ma said.
And Dad came and got me. He put the both of us in their car and let me lean into him. I felt him patting my head like he used to when I was little. It was comforting.
Meanwhile, Ma walked over to Zee and sniffed.
"You stink like beta perfume Zee. What is going on?",
I could see them talking outside. Suddenly Zee grabbed something from the trunk of our car and ran into the restaurant and Mom retrieved Star's car seat but left it outside the car. I could hear her cursing about something which meant she was mad.
She opened the door to the car and quietly began explaining to Dad.
"Honey, I need you to take Zee to the hospital. He is fine, but he needs to take a test. He will fill you in on the way."
Ma reached out her hand and began stroking my cheek.
"Everything is okay honey. When you calm down, we will explain. Zee is okay too sweetie. He is not hurt. He needs to have a blood test done so he can catch a bad person. Zee loves you, honey. He didn't do anything wrong. Do you understand?"
Mom said the magic words and I could feel warmth returning to my limbs. I was still exhausted but not in a dangerous way. I rested my head against my dad's shoulder and kissed Star's sweaty brow. We were wrapped up in a heavy blanket at 3 in the afternoon. I began trying to shove the blanket off when Hia came running out of the building wearing his gym clothes.
Ma took Star from me and got out of the way so Zee could get to me. He was very upset but he got into the car and he pulled me into his arms. He smelled like Hia again. I was so relieved. Dad got out and went to join Ma and Star, giving us a minute.
Hia began kissing and stroking me. Telling me he loved me. Touching my hair and squeezing me tight. While he was doing all of that I was busy scenting him I was determined that people would know he was mine. Hia let me do whatever I wanted and was about to return the favor when Dad yelled at us.
"Don't you dare fill my car with your stinky Alpha pheromones."
Ma whacked him.
"Stop it, you big baby."
Zee and I both laughed.
"I will tell you everything when I get home, okay Teerak.", Zee said.
I nodded and pushed him out of the car. I wanted his pheromones as much as he wanted to give them to me.
We stood by our cars, not caring who was watching as Hia scented me and attacked me with little kisses. I felt like I had been reborn. The world had color again and I was me.
"Hurry home.", I said.
"I love you.", Hia said.
Dad had installed Star's car seat into his car and Ma put her in her seat. Somehow she had slept through all of that.
Hia and Dad took off for the hospital and Ma and I sat quietly in the car.
"You're going to have to see someone, you know. About your PTSD."
I didn't say anything because I knew she was right. I basically had an omega's version of a panic attack. Still, I didn't want to talk about everything that happened. I did not want to go see a doctor. I wanted to be happy. I was happy, wasn't I?
"Dr. U warned us about this, remember?"
I remembered but I stubbornly stayed silent. I knew it was ridiculous that I almost dropped today. Dropping was something omegas did when they were in dire danger or under extreme stress. My brain reacted to a medium-sized problem like it was catastrophic. That was not normal and I knew it.
"NuNew Charawin Perdperiyawong.", Mom said.
Wow, Mom invoked the power of my full name. I looked up at her and then sighed.
"Alright, I will go to the doctor Mom. Can we go home now? I am exhausted.", I said.