Sam is my brother and Colby is my boyfriend

Becoming Silent

A/N TRIGGER WARNING. TALKS ABOUT SUICIDE. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL PLEASE GET HELP I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU GUYS END UP REALLY BADLY HURT. 

A/N I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating this book. I promise I want too and am going to update this. I just have been super busy with school. Listen to the song while reading this chapter. 

Colby's POV

All of the guys were trying to make up things to Stephanie since we forgot that she was in the group chat. I have noticed that she has been becoming silent and more, closed off. Which isn't good, she does this when she's having depressive episodes. I know my girlfriend well enough that I know when she becomes depressed. She starts to sleep more and at weird ass hours. She'll go to bed at like 5:00 am and then she'll wake up really late in the afternoon. I'm getting worried. She hasn't talked to all of us even after we all apologized. She sent me a text as Sam and I were out filming.

Stephanie: Baby... I'm sorry. I'm falling down a dark path again. I can't do this anymore... I love you...
I heard my phone buzz but currently I was trying to hope a fence without getting caught..  I was really worried about Stephanie, when Sam said we both needed to cool off from the other night with the heated conversation in our trap house group chat.  After Sam and I hoped the fence and hid in the building I had felt my phone go off this time from Twitter, Sam noticed that he got the same notification from Stephanie..  As I read the tweet my heart sunk. 

Stephanie Golbach:

I have no words for what about to say.  As most of you know I have left YouTube and haven't been appearing in Sam or Colby's videos anymore, and the reason is because of my mental health. When I was in the videos a couple of you guys have noticed that I wasn't really myself and to be completely honest I wasn't.  It had felt like I was just fading away..  I love all of you and you guys don't know how much I do. I won't be on any social media for a while.  I won't even be on Colby's stories anymore for a while. To be honest with the situation going on with me right now I wouldn't blame Colby for leaving me. I love you all. This is me signing off

I looked at Sam with tears filling my eyes and Sam read the tweet too and could tell that I wasn't okay.  I then finally checked the message from Stephanie and I just fell to the ground and instantly started crying. I said to Sam "I can't do this right now, I need to get out of here. Stephanie's tweet scared me and here look at the text I received" I showed Sam my phone and said "Holy fuck. Yeah no we are going home right now."  Once we had made it back to my car Sam knew I wasn't in the right mindset to drive. I texted our group chat. 

Trap House:

Colby: THIS IS URGENT. 

Colby: WHO THE FUCK IS AT THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW???

Corey: I am, I don't think Jake is. And I haven't heard Stephanie move around upstairs. What's up? 

Colby: FUCK. 

Colby: Image. 

Stephanie: Baby... I'm sorry. I'm falling down a dark path again. I can't do this anymore... I love you...

Colby: I'm on my way home right now babe please don't do anything I can't loose you at all. 

Corey: WTF, Colby are you okay??

Colby: NO WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE OKAY FROM THAT TEXT FROM MY GIRLFRIEND. SHE ALSO TWEETED ABOUT IT. SAM AND I ARE ON OUR WAY HOME NOW. 

Colby: COREY SO HELP ME AND GO CHECK ON STEPHANIE. I'M GOING TO TEXT ELTON. FUCK I'M SCARED DUDE. SHE HASN'T BEEN THIS DEPRESSED SINCE SHE TRIED TO END HER LIFE. 

I texted Elton 

Colby: HAVE YOU HEARD OR SEEN FROM STEPHANIE TODAY AT ALL?? 

Elton: Uhm.... no I saw her tweet and I'm actually on my way to a meeting and I won't be able to call her or anything. And I'll be honest Colby, I haven't talked to her since she told me what happened with Jake trying to kill her...

Colby: Ugh okay. Thank you anyways. I'm just scared because of the text I got from Stephanie. 

Elton: Dude I know you too well that I know you are stressed tf out right now, so just breathe.

I left him on read. Sam tried talking but all I was focusing on was trying to get a hold of Stephanie. She wasn't answering her phone and I just was hysterically balling my eyes out. 

Once we got home I ran into our bedroom and she wasn't there and my mind instantly thought of the bathroom. So I rushed to our bathroom and I found her. I found her cold on the bathroom floor. There was a faint pulse. I don't see cuts. I then looked to her hand. I yelled. Sam came running in calling 911. I just sat there holding Stephanie who felt so cold and lifeless. 

My world came crashing down when I was watching my girlfriend get loaded into the ambulance. Sam was right by my side he just held me. I just cried. I sobbed into Sam's shirt and somehow managed to say "She felt so lifeless. Sam she felt limp. She was cold to the touch. If we got here sooner she wouldn't have had a faint pulse." Sam just held me and was holding back tears himself. He said "Colby this isn't your fault. We could have never known she was planning this. Colby you saved her life. " 

Stephanie's POV 

I tweeted a goodbye tweet. I messaged Colby.  I didn't even bother texting anyone else. I didn't care enough too. I sat in mine and Colby's bathroom and cried. I looked at the knife in my hands and I couldn't bring myself to do that so messy and not quickly. I took a handful of pills and then I fell to the ground with a thud, everything was fading. everything was turning black. 

I could somewhat hear things. I heard Sam and Colby come home and how Sam was on the phone and how Colby was crying so hard. I could feel Colby's touch and kiss when he kissed my forehead. I knew I felt lifeless and cold. I wanted that feeling. All I remember was seeing faint colours of red and blue. 

Sam's POV 

Colby and I decided that we should take a break from filming due to the fact that our minds were not clear.  Corey wasn't really himself lately either. Him and Jake decided that they were going to move out. 

The house felt empty with me and just Colby as Stephanie was in the hospital. 

Colby and I were just sitting in our living room when Colby just randomly gets up and goes into the kitchen and comes out and hands me a drink. I looked at him with worry in my eyes as I didn't want Colby to drink his pain away. He looked at me and said "You don't need to worry I won't be drinking the pain away as much as I want too. I'm only having one. I just need to relax a little bit." I just nodded and agreed with him. 

Colby's POV 

I could not stop replaying in my head how I found Stephanie.

:Once we got home I ran into our bedroom and she wasn't there and my mind instantly though of the bathroom. So I rushed to our bathroom and I found her. I found her cold on the bathroom floor. There was a faint pulse. I don't see cuts. I then looked to her hand. I yelled. Sam came running in calling 911. I just sat there holding Stephanie who felt so cold and lifeless.: 

I didn't even know I was crying until Sam just came and just hugged me. I was a mess. She was lifeless. I can't describe it anymore than that. Stephanie Golbach my girlfriend was.......... 

.....lifeless......