Austin Carlile Is My Father? (#Wattys2015)

Frijolito (It Means 'Little Bean')

I'm going to call Austin's dad Robert, because I can. Swag. 

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Sienna

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She felt an immense amount of satisfaction after she ate the fish. She had caught it, Grandpa Carlile gutted it, and her father grilled it. Now, they were all sitting on the couch watching another Disney movie. It was something that all three of them liked. 

Sienna curled up in her seat. Her thoughts were on Noah. What was he doing? Where was he now? Surely he would be out of the hospital now, and wouldn't he be home? With his brother? Should she call him, or should she wait for him to call? He wouldn't remember to call. He forgot her. 

Even though she could get her mind off him, she still felt lost without him. She needed him to live and to breathe. She felt like she was suffocating. She felt disgusted and sick. She hated herself without him and it was getting to the point that where she would rather be dead than have him be gone forever. 

"Be right back." Grandpa Carlile said, standing up. "Austin, you said the bathroom's the first right?" 

"The first left." Austin corrected, nodding at the hall where their bathroom was located. After the man left, Austin sighed, stretching out his limbs so his legs were casted over Sienna's lap. "Ya know, my dad used to do this with me a lot." 

"You said that before." Sienna said, her mind still on her boyfriend. Or ex-boyfriend. She really didn't know at this point. 

"No, I mean, he used to do this a lot to help me feel better when my mom passed away." Austin said quietly, his teeth biting at his lips. Sienna was shocked, to be honest. They didn't really talk about his mom. They mostly talked about anything else, but his mom. Hearing him talk about her made her feel a bit uncomfortable, but she knew it was ridiculous to be feeling uncomfortable as her father talked about his mother. "Yeah. We used to stay up and watch movies. Movies that reminded us of her. It helped us, even though it was hard. If I could bring her back, I would. But there's nothing I can do about it." Austin looked sad and Sienna felt her stomach cramp from embarrassment. 

"I don't know." Austin mumbled, looking back at the TV screen. "Sometimes, I think it's unfair, but then again, nothing is ever fair. A lot of people have it way more worse than we do. Like, some people don't even get to meet their parents, and I was too caught up on the fact that 17 years wasn't long enough. You know?" 

Sienna shook her head. "No. I don't know. I know people have it worse than me, but I don't understand why my mother's dead." She spat these words out as if they were poisonous. Austin's eyes widened. 

"No, that's not what I meant. I still don't understand why my mother is gone, but I've…I…" Austin sighed again, his body visibly shrinking. Sienna felt a little bit of guilt for giving him this much shit about his word choice, but at the same time, she was pissed off that Austin was basically saying 'get over it' (although that wasn't his intentions at all). "I know what you've been though. I mean, this hell was my life." Austin sat up, getting closer to Sienna. "I wish Lucy was back too." 

Those words stung, for some odd reason. It hurt more than Sienna thought was possible. Her father didn't know what she was going through. At least he had someone when his mother passed away. Sienna's mother passed away and her boyfriend, her first real love, forgot her because of a stupid man and his stupid gun, and his stupid - his stupid everything. 

"Austin! You have to clean the kitchen, you know." said Grandpa Carlile's voice from the hall. "You can't leave it a mess. Especially with fish. It stinks up the whole house."