Day 262

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2 September 2018
Sunday 2:39 pm

I don't know how to word this but I'll do my best. It's kind of embarrassing writing it down now. Here it goes though...he kissed me. Oh my god he kissed me. Maybe I'm actually dreaming. Nope I'm not I pinched myself and I'm still here. Note to self don't pinch it hurts. Seriously though. He's taking a nap at the moment since we are still trapped in here and there isn't much to do, actually there's nothing to do. But apparently him kissing me!? Was a thing!? I was working myself up over the kids because I'm worried about them because we've been gone for so long what if they ran out of food? Or water?  Okay I'm doing it again I have to calm down, but that was the thing earlier I couldn't calm down and I was really freaked out and I started crying and that's when he did it. He told me everything would be okay and that we would get back to them and they would be safe with Liz until we get back... actually he said he would get Mama back to her kids which had me just as embarrassed as the kiss that really through me for a loop. Did he do it just to shut me up? Or...does he actually like me like that? Am I allowed to hope he does? With everything going on and the fact that I'm responsible for two children now, am I even allowed to have something like that in my life anymore? Is it okay?

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