Zombie Diary

Day 209

12 July 2018
Thursday 8:42pm

Tonight was so awkward. I mean it was a great day to start off with, Nate myself and the kids were picking fruit off some of the trees before they go bad today. Cory and Nancie enjoyed the fresh treats as they picked them; the mandarins weren't sour or too sweet. They were that juicy mixture right in between. The green apples were a little sour but still very enjoyable. I again am thinking about what it would be like to stay here, what lives we could lead here. We've had no dead bother us still. Sometimes I think I can hear them moaning and moving around in the brush but they are never there when I check. I think I'm a little paranoid.

The kids were sitting in the living room with Nathan and I while I read them a story. Nancie was sitting with me on my lap snuggled up while Cory leaned against Nate. It was quite except for my voice as I told the story about a girl who sailed the world on a magic carpet. It was almost like, we were a family. Sitting by the fire as we read the story, two adults and their two children. The kids fell asleep early tonight during the story and Nate moved them to their bed. When he came back he sat down on the couch with me and we just sat peacefully together, enjoying the warm touch of the embers. I told him that tonight had reminded me of like what families would be like in our old world, and how I thought technically we were a family now. We were all each other would ever have from now on. That was the moment a very dark though came to mind, what if I lost them? What if I was the cause of their lost? What would I do without them? Before this plague I had never had an attachment to them, they were just my best friend's kid brother and sister. But now? Now they were so much more to me, in just the few days of being with them they meant so much to me. I couldn't bear to lose them. While I was voicing my concern and slightly braking down Nathan pulled me into a hug. This is where it got awkward, because I liked it. It was warm and comforting. The way he soothed the darkness that had started to build and cloud my mind. The feeling of his strong arms around me. I couldn't help but hold on to him tighter while I regained my composure. He told me everything would be okay, that nothing would happen to them or to me. That he wouldn't let anything happen. He said I was right about the four of us being a family now. And that we would find the others as well because they were also our family. He let me go and smiled like everything was okay and for now it is. However I still don't know how long that will last.

The fire is about to die out so I better get some sleep. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow.