Deceit (Ch.51)

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I was a tense mess. I was a tiny ass ball of stress so condensed... Imagine a metal ball entirely made of hard-pressed tinfoil. Polished and shined and... TENSE! The second Roman walked shut the door I could hear something slam against the wall. It took everything in my power not to run in after him. I told him I would trust him. Trust and belief mean everything to the prince. So I just sat there staring at the door with unending worry.

Eventually, the screams fell silent but that did nothing to calm my nerves. No... it made them so much worse. I hated the silence. Ever since he... he died.

Jeremy Sutton. The only man I ever loved. And I use that world with strict reverence. He meant everything to me. But he had been human... sick... weak. I still remember when I first met so long ago. The man had captured a beauty I never saw in any other man. His slightly curly platinum blonde hair helped his mocha colored eyes seem like deep endless pools that shined against his pale skin. He was thin... too thin for my liking. That was what drew my attention to him in the first place.

I couldn't quite understand how someone so obviously ill, held such a bright smile. It made me curious. So I would go out of my way to make sure I always bumped into him until the very act up trying became such a routine, I wasn't trying anymore I was just... doing. 

I remember one day I had him over at the castle. We were just sitting in my room laughing... laughing until his face paled. He jumped up to the bathroom I didn't have time to react. I was scared. I had grown attached to him. Despite knowing he was sick, I had grown to enjoy his company. I had found myself craving it. So seeing him vault out of the room I was instantly cold.

I had found him bent over a toilet with red staining the porcelain. That was the first time it truly hit me. I saw how the red stained his chapped lips. I saw how his body shook and sweat poured from his brow. For the first time towards anyone... I felt myself beginning to cry in fear. I was going to lose him and...

I didn't want to.

It was like a slap in the face. The fear I felt. The need to keep him close. The way my heart lurched at every painful whimper that escaped his lips. I wanted to take his pain away. I wanted to take it ALL away. I wanted him to stay by my side.

I found him looking more and more at his reflection and it hurt. The way his eyes seemed to deflate as his body slowly wasted away. His eyes dulled to a soft grey. His hair fell slack losing all its luster. Every chance he got he would look at his reflection and frown. So... I got him some glasses. They were much but the hid the death that lingered in his eyes. He never took them off. He was overly protective of them as if they were some gift from got. They weren't. They were just a gift from me. It didn't matter, because he seemed to have something to smile about now as he passed his reflections. It made me smile.

Seeing him actually die was horrific. However, I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I wanted... no. I NEED TO BE THERE! His now ashen hair sat a matted mess against his ghostly skin. He was icy but clammy as I held his hand tightly. His white eyes shone with a love i never thought possible in anyone.

I tried. I tried to find a way to keep him alive. I tried to save him. I loved him. Fate had other plans. They showed me love and heartbreak at the same time as those haunting eyes began to close. Even then I begged and prayed for the realm to help him. To accept him like they did Logan... To save him. But his grip went lack and his pain and erratic breathing died out leaving a silence that tore through you unapologetically.

All three races have different and unique takes on death. The elven body does not decay. When they die their body is preserved by the magic they once possessed and they remain there until the body is burnt. It's their ritual. Their funeral. Burial by flame. They believe it releases there magic from the physical plane allowing them to reunite with the realm to be reborn.

We fairies... We are the exact opposite. When we die we turn to fairy dust. There is no funeral... no burial... nothing. Just the glittering dust of magic that disperses and gets absorbed by the realm. But...

The humans... I wasn't prepared. The way his body went stiff. They way he just laid there as if sleeping, his lips slightly parted. I would have thought he just drifted off again but I knew the truth. Logan informed me would have to dice how to move forward. Either we burned him like the elves... or we buried him. I couldn't do either. I just couldn't... so He did. He and father gave him a send off fit for a king. 

I stood there watching as they place his body into a boat filled with straw and hay. He even had a crown. The way Father saw it. I had loved him and he loved me. There was no need for papers and extravagance when it came to a bond. He saw Remy as my partner. My soulmate. So he placed the crown on top of the fallen human's head, a sign of his possessions and rank. Referred to him through the title of Prince and spoke as if he had just lost a dearly beloved son. 

The Fairy realm had lost a most precious angel and Dad made sure to let the whole world hear the mournful cries of his kingdom. 

I watched as the let the boat drift off into the water as the banshee cried and the fae sang solemn songs of grief. We were never married. We didn't care about any of that. I had vowed to remain by his side until he died. That was all the commitment we needed. We really were soulmates. So when Dad went to grab the bow I stepped in. 

I held the bow tightly in my hand as I carefully pulled back. The flaming arrow aimed perfectly as I took a deep breath and let the arrow fly. It met its mark lodging into my loves heart and lighting the straw ablaze. I didn't move after that. Not even when the banshees stopped their wailing. I remain there eyes locked on the burning boat that held the physical form of my love. I watched even after it broke and sank to the bottom.

I felt... hollow.

I felt a tear drop from my face and I tensed in surprise. How long had I been there like that? I groaned as I whipped my face dry and stood up. I couldn't sit alone in this silence. I had to do something. So I left. I grabbed the treasure watching it turn into a cuff and walked out of the building into the rain. 

I went for a walk. I needed to clear my thoughts. And the silence would literally kill me. So there I was in the woods in a grey muscle shirt, unzipped maroon hoodie, with my head down and my hands un my dark jean pockets. I was so lost in thought that I never noticed I wasn't alone until... I felt the cold metal against my neck. My eyes went wide as my hands shot up into the air.

"Who are you and what you doing here?"

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