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you rattled your keys in the door, cursing as you stood in the freezing cold, attempting to unlock the front door to your apartment building. you cursed under your breath, jiggling the doorknob until it opened. you climbed the stairs two at a time, rubbing your hands together as thoughts swarmed in your mind. it wasn't a good day; you'd gotten your period that morning so your hormones were out of whack, you'd just found out that you lost your promtion, your boyfriend wasn't going to be home until next week, your dog was sick, and you'd just spent the past five minutes standing in the freezing winter of new york trying to open a fucking door.
as you reached your condo, you found the door ajar. confused, you walked in, seeing the place trashed. your immediate reaction was a robbery.
"fuck," you cursed, slamming the door. just your luck.
you noticed the acoustic guitar that was usually hung above your tv smashed on the floor behind your island counter as shattered plates were scattered around it. your coffee table was flipped upside down and a few paintings you'd had hung up were on the ground too. thought before you had anymore time to investigate, there was a sound of glass shattering. you flinched, hearing a voice.
"fuck!"
it sounded like calum.
you made your way further into the apartment, stepping around shards of glass and broken furniture. as you pushed open the door to your bedroom, you saw calum sat on the floor, his head between his knees. the lamp from your bedside table was broken as it looked like he'd thrown it against the wall. your heart calmed a bit at the sight of your boyfriend, though adrenaline continued pumping through your veins.
"baby, what..." you trailed off, scanning the rest of the room. your mirror was smashed, and it looked as if calum's shirt was stained with blood. you kneeled down beside him, reaching out to touch the boy but he jerked away.
"cal, honey, what happened?" you asked softly, looking around. just as you thought, his shirt was stained with blood. his hand was wrapped in gauze, and you assumed he'd punched the now shattered mirror. "fuck, baby. you're hurt."
"i'm fine," he muttered, flinching away from you again. sighing, you bit your lip. slowly, you moved next to calum, leaning against the wall as you sat beside your boyfriend. he seemed to relax somewhat, unraveling himself.
creeping his hand out, calum grabbed your's. he intertwined your fingers gently and you looked up at the boy. he seemed broken. like a piece of him was missing, but you didn't know what.
"talk to me, baby."
he glanced up at you. that was the first time you'd met his eyes in over four months. he wasn't supposed to get back from tour until next week.
"mali," he choked out. suddenly, he lurched forward, spilling his guts onto your bedroom floor. sighing, you leaned over, rubbing his back.
"baby," you cooed, running your fingers up and down his blood stained tee shirt. calum wiped his mouth, grimacing.
"fuck, i'm sorry."
"hey, it's alright love," you shushed him. calum sat up and you pulled him into your chest. like a little baby, calum curled up in your lap, allowing you to run your fingers through his hair. "i love you."
he didn't answer.
the two of you sat in silence for about twenty minutes. calum spoke up first.
"my mum called me last night," he whispered. you hummed in response, running your nails down his arm. his skin was cold. "mali g-got— someone hit her car last night."
your breathing stuttered.
"she d-d—" calum choked, letting out a sob. you covered your mouth. "mali's dead, baby."
your heart stopped beating. you felt like you were going to puke.
calum threw up again, this time consecutively. you were frozen in place. calum hunched over, spilling all he'd had to eat in the past 24 hours as you sat with your back against the wall. tears spilled down your face but you couldn't feel them. you couldn't feel the floor beneath you, you couldn't hear calum spilling his guts right in front of you. your senses seemed to have turned off as the world stopped spinning.
"no." that was the first thing you'd heard. "no baby don't cry, it's okay love."
you looked up. calum kneeled in front of you, changed out of his blood stained shirt. the room was all cleaned up, light shining in through the blinds. his hair was dripping wet, eyes red but no more tear stained cheeks.
"w—"
"c'mon baby, let's go to bed," he whispered. calum picked you up, carrying you into the bed. he set you down softly, tucking you under the covers. calum climbed into bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you. he pressed a kiss to your forehead.
"you're okay, baby," he said gently. you looked into his eyes.
"what—" you cut yourself off. "is mali dead?"
calum swallowed, his adam's apple moving up and down. "yeah. yeah, she's dead, baby."
"what day is it?"
"it's saturday, love." calum tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear. "it's been a few days, baby."
"w-what?" you furrowed your eyebrows.
calum sighed, biting his lip. he propped himself up on his elbow, looking down to you as you played with his fingers. "she died last wednesday love. i told you on thursday. you— you wouldn't let me move you."
"i—" you looked down at calum's fingers. his hands were beat up, knuckles bloody. "she died."
"i know, baby."
"why?" you asked. calum sighed. you shook your head, sitting up. "why? why did she die calum?"
"baby—"
"no, no—" you climbed out of bed, but calum pulled you back in before you could exit the room. "let me go!"
you struggled against his arms, trying to rip away from his grasp. "calum, let me go! let me go!"
"y/n, stop."
"get away from me!" you screamed, ripping his arms away. calum was too strong from you though, as he pulled you back into his chest. "get away! stop it, let me go!"
"y/n!" he shouted, holding you tight. you struggled, kicking and screaming. calum held you against him, and you began punching his chest while attempting to get away.
"let me go! let me go!"
"y/n, it's okay! it's okay!" calum yelled. you fought against him, bawling as he held you tight. you slowed your actions, eventually sliding down his body, kneeling and breaking down. "it's okay, baby. you're okay."
calum slid down next to you, pulling you into his chest. you sobbed loudly, screaming into your boyfriend's chest. tears pooled in calum's dark eyes as he held you against him, shushing you while his fingers combed through your hair. you cried, muffling your sounds into his hoodie.
"it's okay. you're alright, princess. you're alright, everything's gonna be okay. everything's gonna be okay."
