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it's a week after the party, and after you and calum fucked. you hadn't spoken to him since then, afraid of what could happen, but more important what had happened. if you chose to ignore it, then maybe you and calum would still be friends in your mind, no heartbreak over the loss of friendship. if you confronted him, something would go wrong. and you were sure how you'd handle that.
now, you were sitting in ashton's living room, a drink in your hand as a few friends of your's sat around the couch along with you. it was just luke and his girlfriend ari; ashton was in the kitchen fixing himself a drink.
"oh," luke held up his hand, grabbing both your's and his girlfriend's attention, "tomorrow is petunia's birthday and i'm having a party for her. y/n, can you tell calum for me? i texted him but he's being weird."
you gulped. "actually, i—" you cut yourself off, crossing your arms. "yeah, i'll tell him."
"tell who?" ashton walked into the room, a glass in hand as he sat down beside you on the couch. you rested your head on his shoulder, biting on your lower lip as you played with your hands in your lap.
luke spoke up. "nothin', i just asked y/n to tell cal about petunia's birthday."
ashton looked down at you. "you and cal are talking again?"
"wait, you weren't talking before?" ari spoke up. lu seconded that, his arms crossed as both of them sent you a look of confusion. you sighed; you didn't want to have to tell them.
luckily you didn't have to. calum came just in time to tell them himself.
"hey! we were just talking about you," luke said as the door to ashton's house opened and closed. you turned around, seeing calum standing in the doorway. he looked at you, cheeks going red.
"cal, why are you here?" ashton stuttered, standing up. you sunk back down in the couch.
"i left my jacket last night... y/n, i didn't know you were here."
"well i am," you answered from your spot on the couch, shrunk into the cushions. you wished that you could just sink inside the couch and avoid confrontation altogether. ari and luke sent you confused looks. you sighed.
"i'll... grab your jacket. luke, ari, why don't you help me?"
"what, why-?"
"just come." ashton forced the couple out of the room sternly. this left you and calum to yourselves.
the room was quiet, calum now sitting on the couch across from you and you had you knees up to your chest. it was silent for a few moments before calum spoke up, clearing his throat.
"so, we should probably talk."
you only nodded. he stood up, walking over before taking a seat beside you. "listen, y/n—"
"we were drunk," you blurted. he looked taken aback by your sudden outburst. "it didn't mean anything, right?"
he shrugged. "i—"
"i don't want us to waste our friendship over this stupid thing classified as a drunken mistake," you said, unraveling yourself from your little ball and now sitting up. calum looked at you as you spoke. "unless... you think otherwise of it?"
"i don't know what i think of it, y/n."
it was silent again.
"did you... have you taken a pregnancy test yet?" calum asked. you raised your eyebrows. "because, you know, i..." he sighed, pausing to rub his forehead. "fuck, y/n, i came in you."
"no, i didn't take a test."
"why not?"
"i'm on the pill, but... i have a doctor's appointment next week. i'll get them to do some tests or something, okay?"
"i'll come with you."
"cal, you don't have to."
the boy sighed, leaning his elbows on his knees as he ran his hands over his face. "fuck, y/n. we're too young to be worrying about this shit."
"it'll be fine, cal."
"but what if it's not?"
"then we'll deal with it then," you said. calum sighed. "for now, let's talk about more important things. like what the fuck really happened that night."
you noticed his tense posture and reached a hand out to rest on his shoulder. "are you okay?"
"i'm fine."
"you don't look fine," you argued. calum shook his head, straightening his posture. "hey, come here."
you reached your arms out and calum sighed before leaning into your embrace. no matter what, calum was always your best friend and you were always his. you knew that something had happened between you two; obviously the intimate experience that you and calum shared that night had changed something in your friendship, but no matter what, you were always there for calum. which is why you provided him the emotional support he needed now.
as calum nuzzled his face in your neck, arms wrapped around your body while you two held each other, you heard him mumble something.
"what was that?"
calum pulled away, meeting your eyes as he kept his hands on your waist. "what do you want to do? if... you do end up pregnant."
you sighed, glancing down at his hands, which took your's and clasped your fingers together. you looked back up at him. "i don't know, cal."
"if you want to keep it, i promise i'll be here. i'm not leaving you."
"can we not talk about this? please? we're twenty three years old, calum. this isn't the time to talk about having children."
"i'm not saying i want kids, y/n. i'm saying that it's a possibility right now, and i want you to know that i'm not leaving you for it," calum looked into your eyes, scanning them for any sort of hesitation. "alright?"
"alright."
luke, ari, and ashton all walked back into the room, causing calum to turn around and you to look forward at them. ashton cocked his head to the side, silently asking if everything was alright. you both nodded.
"what's going on?" luke asked, crossing his arms. "why are you three acting like something's up?"
"nothing for you to worry about," ashton said, clapping him in the shoulder. calum stood up, stopping as he felt you tug on his arm.
"sleep over at mine tonight," you whispered, lacing your fingers together. the boy sighed, nodding.
"just text me."
he squeezed your hand before dropping it. then calum grabbed his jacket, thanking him and saying goodbye to everyone as he exited the house. as you watched the boy leave, you met ashton's gaze and he raised your eyebrows. you waved him off, silently telling him that you'd explain later. for now, you just wanted to be in the moment.
