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jet fuel by mac miller played over calum's bose speaker as the two of you sat in your basement. your legs were over calum's thighs as he leaned over, rolling a joint. calum smoked much more than you, practically everyday, but once in a while you would join him. calum was seemingly addicted to the drug, though, as he couldn't go more than two days without a high. it calmed his anxiety, and he'd become reliant on the source of pleasure and comfort.
you watched as your best friend pinched the tip of the paper, grabbing his lighter. calum was so precise with everything he did; the way his held the joint between his pointer and his thumb; the way he carefully lit it.
"fuck," he breathed, letting out a puff of smoke. he laid his head back on the couch, closing his eyes. you were silent, watching the boy in all his glory.
you and calum had been friends for years now; you met in junior high and now lived together downtown la, both 23 years old. you and calum had always strictly been best friends, nothing else. though, there was always a little part of you that wished for something more. i mean, who wouldn't? he was, by no doubt, the most handsome, caring boy you'd met. he treated you like a princess. calum was gorgeous, physically but more mentally. you adored everything about the boy. he knew about your slight crush but never mentioned it to you. he wanted to spare you the embarrassment.
"cal," you hummed, holding your hand out. opening his eyes, the boy passed you to joint, of which you took a long drag. it was now calum's turned to watch you in adoration. he fancied you too, though you had no idea. "mm. this is good."
"yeah." calum took back to joint, taking a drag from it. the two of you passed it back and forth, sharing little than two words each time. this was how most days were with calum. everything was laid back and carefree when you were with your best friend, which was one of your favourite things about your friendship.
by this time, you were floating. the only thing you felt was calum's fingers dancing across your thighs, inching to go farther. you watched as calum took another drag, running his fingers across your leg. you could see, even in the dim lighting of your basement, calum's bloodshot eyes. you smiled, watching his tongue dart out to lick his lips.
humming, you sat up slowly, grabbing the water bottle calum had made sure to grab for you. cottonmouth was the worst for you.
"how you feeling, love?" calum asked softly, looking at you. blinking, your eyes lazily glanced over to him.
"tired."
"mhm," he hummed, taking some water. calum handed it back to you, tugging you onto his lap so you straddled his waist. "hi, pretty girl."
you giggled, batting your eyelashes at him. he chuckled, checking the time on his phone. it was 4 in the afternoon, the regular time calum was to smoke up.
"what's on your mind, cal?" you asked, taking a sip from your water. he shrugged, toying with the rips on your skinny jeans. you sighed, placing the bottle on the coffee table and running your hands through his hair. "tell me."
"i don't wanna fuck this up," he mumbled, resting his forehead on your shoulder. frowning, you wrapped your arms around his neck, leaning your cheek atop his head.
"fuck what up?"
"us," he whispered, running his thumbs over your rib cage. you were only in a bra and jeans, as you usually were with cal. people would always judge you for how carefree the two of you were; how you'd lounge around the house naked.
"how do you mean?" you asked, pulling away from the boy. he glanced up at you, his big brown eyes full of emotion. "calum..."
"i know it's not the weed but i really want to kiss you, y/n," he said, wincing. you bit your lip. "i don't want to be friends with you. i can't."
"babe—"
"fuck, i love you," he breathed, his eyes watering. "i love you so much, y/n."
"calum, don't—"
he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, eyes darting between yours. as you chewed on your lower lip, calum swallowed harsh. and then he kissed you. his lips were pressed against yours, his breath mixing with yours.
"cal—"
"i want you," he moaned, kissing you passionately. you felt yourself losing grip of reality, slipping into his touch. finally, you let go and let calum guide you.
