~ Our Story ~ (In those 19 years)

Chapter 83

Chapter 83: Will she survive?

"Mummy!" I hear my son cry.

James enthusiastically jumps on the hospital bed, making me wince as my wound from the c-section still hasn't healed yet.

"Careful James, Mummy is still in pain and we wouldn't want to hurt her more," Harry says gently and James, very carefully, tries to sit next to me.

Soon after James's entrance, Teddy, Scott (holding Albus) and Erin (holding Hope) come in. Teddy looks at me and gives me a hug, trying to avoid hurting me.

"Where's the baby?" Teddy asks, looking around.

"The doctors are looking after her while she's trying to gain strength," I tell Teddy and he nods.

"So it's a girl?" Erin smiles, sitting down and putting Hope on her lap.

"Jep," I nod, smiling at my goddaughter who is looking at me.

*

When visiting hours are over, everyone, except Harry, leaves. We didn't have any visitors other than Erin, Scott and the kids, because first of all, I'm not sure what they could do as Lily is still in the incubator and hasn't shown any sign of coming out before I leave the hospital, and I don't know if I can cope with it all.

"It will all be fine in the end," Harry smiles, taking my hand and smoothing my skin with his thumb.

"And what if it's not fine?" I ask him, feeling tears welling up.

"Then it's not the end," Harry says and wipes the tears from my face, despite his own watery eyes.

*

"So, Mr and Mrs Potter, your daughter seems to be doing well enough for you to hold her for some skin to skin contact," the doctor, named Dr Clay, says after a few days since I got discharged from the hospital.

I can barely contain my excitement. I squeeze Harry's hand to let the excitement out. I could have squealed but that would have startled the babies.

Harry very quickly decides that I have the right to go first as I was the one to carry her for just over six months and that I went in pain for her.

"Thanks," I smile and then sit down as a nurse helps me to undo my blouse and bra. She gives me a blanket to cover up while we wait for Lily.

"So, as you can see, she still has a breathing tube and a feeding tube so you need to be careful not to interfere with them and the same goes for her monitors," Doctor Clay says sternly and I nod.

I can't explain how happy I feel the moment he lays Lily on me. She's still so small and fragile but she has this strong vibe going on. I can't explain how I know but I just feel it.

At one point, Lily starts to cry, although barely audible (probably due to the tube down her throat) and it really hurts me to hear. By talking to her and making soft sounds, she calms down and I can feel her breathing slowly again.

"I'm afraid your time is up, Mrs Potter," they take Lily from me again and Harry helps me dress again.

We watch as she's put back in the incubator, softly wailing again. I immediately yearn to hold her again but then realise that it's unfair for me to think that because Harry hasn't held her at all yet.

*

When we're home and the children are in bed, I sob into Harry's shirt as he listens to me.

"She shouldn't be going through something like this, not at this age, not ever," I sniff, trying to remember the feeling when they laid her on me.