Separated(Book Two In The Feel The Payne Cupcake Trilogy)©

Chapter 60

we actually made it to 60 this time!! :D Love yah guys!

 I sat with a knitted blanket wrapped around myself, hugging my knees to my chest and sniffling. I ruined it. See? I had a reason to be terrified. And my fear came true.

 I've lost him. I've lost mum. I've lost dad. And for the time being, I've lost Liv.

 I suddenly realized when I got home and wanted comfort that none of my friends have I contacted latly. Basically, I've been so caught up with Harry I only talk to them when they come to see Liv.

 Well thats it. No friends. No family. No love. No comfort. Nobody to fall back on.

 I'm alone.

When Niall dropped me off I had just went straight inside, this was about 10 minutes ago, so I haven't any idea if he left or not... no, he probably left, obviously I screw everything up so he's probably gone as well.

So that's it then? We came to have a liking to One Direction, we both (me and Liv) started to have relationships with them, Liv started her own drama, I ruined my relationship. And now neither of us have much to do with them.

 It's christmas eve, and I'm alone. From last year with my family, friends, relationships, to here with nobody!? Do I really have to ruin everything!

 Harry's the worst thing that ever happened to me! I fell for him! So I was gone when my Mum died! I missed her funeral! My dad's gone, I had a fight with my sister, luckily we made up, but he just set off a bomb inside me that was never ment to be lit!

 He ruined my life!

I sobbed harder. I wanted mum! I wanted her comfort!

 Well, I was determined to get it.

 Quickly, tears blurring my vision, I raced into my kitchen. I hands shook as I took out a large knife. My life was over anyhow, might as well make it official.

 I held it. Suddenly there was a knock. "Peyton? Listen, I know things with you and Harry kinda broke down.. do you um, want some company?" Nialls voice yelled through the door.

 He was still here. My eyes widened. "N-No! Go away! Just go!" I shrieked in panic. He had to go. He had to leave!

 "Peyton?! I'm coming in."

"NO! GO! PLEASE!" I shrieked. There were footsteps entering the house. 10 steps and he would see me in our open kitchen.

"GET OUT!" I screamed. I tried to position the knife to my chest, but my hands shook so bad I dropped it.

 "What was that!?" He ran in and saw me.

 "NO!" I screamed. I dropped to the floor and tried to grab it. "NO! NO!"

"PEYTON! NO! STOP!" He shouted. Suddenly I was being lifted.

 "No!" I screamed, crying. "STOP! I HAVE TO DO IT!" I struggled. trying to grab for the knife, a fork, anything.

He seemed terrified. "Peyton!" He said. I could tell he was crying from fear.

 "Stop your crying!" I yelled at him. "Your life isn't over! You have a life! Family! Friends! I have nothing! I want to die! Liv is alright on her own! She always had been! With her friends and relationships! Nobody cares about me! I want my mum back!" I screamed at him. "Just let me do it!" i sobbed. I tried to pound at his chest, but I was so weak and drained. They only came as mere pats.

 "Let me die." I whispered into his chest.

 "I'm sorry. I can't" He whispered back to me. Next thing we had the same blanket I had before covering us both, and he held me as I sobbed.

 "I'm your friend. Liv is your family. Harry is crazy about you, you might have had a fight, but believe me. He loves you more than anything."

That was the last thing I hears before falling asleep.