Separated(Book Two In The Feel The Payne Cupcake Trilogy)©

Le chapter number whatever we're on..

IDK what chapter we're on and I'm too laxy to check, so here ya go ;)

 

 Though happy throughout the day, I'm not sure how happy I felt inside.. I felt awkward, violated, but yet I felt happy, in love, open to Harry. Just as he's open to me.

Wow that sounded bad.

 I sighed, I pulled on my coat, boots, and such, before escaping into the chill of their backyard, and pushed the snow off of a little chair, before dialing Livvy.

 "Hello!" She chirped cheerfully.

"Somebody's happy."

"Yes I am! Dylan's here! And It's Louis birthday! Everything is just grand!"

"Well.. you're giving me details when we get home, but we got another matter at hand." I said,casually, but still unsure of my mood. I heard the door open behind me and I saw Harry. "I'm on the phone with Liv, I'll be in later." I explained to him before he nodded and shut the door, I turned back around to face the snow covered yard.

 "Matter? What's wrong? Aren't you with Harry?"

"Yes I am, but I'm not sure about if this is good or bad, so don't .. freak out... okay?"

"Alright, what's going on then?"

I took a deep breath before peeking behind me and looking back around. "Well, um, Harry and I.. um.. early christmas presant to each other?" I tried to explain.

 "Uh.. huh, speak english?"

"Sex-"

"Oh MY GOD."

I gulped.

"Nono it's okay, just something to do with Peyton, um, go away." I heard Liv on the other line, speaking to somebody else. "Dylan I'm fine! This is sister matters.. shoo!"

"Are you alone now?"

"Yes."

"Well, yeah.. that kinda happened last night." I said nervously.

"Okay okay, um, did you use..."

"Yes! Don't worry, it's alright."

"Okay, well.. do you actually love him? I know you've said it, but..."

 Do I love him? I think I do. But do I..? "Do I love him..." I repeated the question. "Uh, I think that I do, but it's just, I don't know how I feel right now, Liv. It's weird! I mean, It was great and all, um.. I'm trying to act normal, but I feel like something's eating at me! Like I ruined everything or something! Like I did something terribly terribly wrong and I feel like my middle is caving in.." I whimpered into the phone.

 "You regret it?" She asked.

"I think I do. I think I regret it." I muttered. "He's great.. but I feel horrible. I regret it!"

"Um, what?" She seemed confused. "I didn't say anything."

 "What?"

I frowned confused, and suddenly I realized it wasn't Liv that asked it I regretted it.

"Harry!" I shrieked.

I gasped and accidently ended the call as I spun around. There stood Harry, looking over-the-top upset, and hurt, as if I tore out his heart and threw it yelling "Fetch!".

 "Harry I didn't mean-"

"You regret it! You don't even love me do you!?" He shouted at me. "You know you could have just said 'Not tonight' and done! Nothing would have happened! But you were practically the one who decided to go farther when you started-Ugh! Get out! Go! Pack up and GO!" He shouted at me.

 "Harry-" I choked, suddenly sobbing. I knew I would ruin it! I ruin everything! I ruin EVERYTHING! I don't have anything well.

"Go!" He sobbed as well. "Just-just get out."

"It's Christmas Eve-"

"Then I'll never forget the day you had second thoughts about wether you even love me."

"I do Love-"

"It didn't sound that way."

 

Thus was the end of my relationship with him. Next thing, I was in the car sobbing and hiccuping, being drove home by Niall, who was staying nearbye and agreed to drive me. I couldn't thank him enough, I didn't know what I would do 3 hours from home on Christmas Eve.

 But I lost him.

I lose everything.

I ruin everything.

Everything.