Life is Stranger

The Tracks of Her Tears

Joyce placed her hands upon the front of her thighs and bent down to peer into the oven before exiting the kitchen and calling up the stairs. "Chloe?"

A dull, muffled response came from her daughter's bedroom. "What?"

"It's nearly noon. Are you coming down today at some point? What are you doing up there?"

"Thinking."

"Thinking? About what?"

"About how I just want today to be over. About how no one can give me the gifts that I really want. They're gone. Forever. And no one can bring them back. Not even you."

Joyce began to climb the stairs. "Oh Princess." she said with concern. "I know. Really I do. Can I come in?"

"Please don't Mom. I want to be alone right now."

"Today isn't the day to be alone, Chloe."

"How can I not be alone? I'm more alone now than I've ever been."

Joyce opened the door and saw Chloe placing something underneath the bed, the young girl's head bowed down so her mother couldn't see her face. "I feel lonely sometimes too, Chloe, and it hurts. I know how much it hurts, baby. But I'm here for you, my Princess. Today and every day."

"Yes, you are. But other people aren't. How can you make that better? Can you bring them back?"

"I wish I could, my baby. I wish I could more than anything. I'd do anything to make you happy."

"You mean that? Anything?"

"Yes. Of course I do."

"Then leave me. Please get out. That's the only thing you can do to help me right now."

"Oh Chloe. I hate to hear you talk like this. It hurts me to see you hurting. I can't just leave you up here like this. Not today."

She moved towards the bed to comfort her daughter. Chloe's head suddenly shot upwards and Joyce could see her raw, red eyes and the tracks of her tears trailing down her cheeks.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Joyce said nothing. She merely wrapped her baby in her arms and buried her head into Chloe's long, flowing hair. Chloe broke down completely and her slim frame juddered with unrestrained, convulsive sobs. Eventually Joyce whispered softly into Chloe's ear. "I know your dad is gone baby. And I know you miss Max, too."

"Why Mom? Why has she abandoned me like this? What did I ever do to her? When I needed her more than ever, she wasn't there. Just...gone. I miss her sooooo much, Mom. I'd do anything to see her smile today. I love her, Mom. And I thought she loved me back. She was my best friend. My only friend. The only friend that I ever needed. My angel. We were so damn close. How could she do this to me?"

"I don't know, Princess. I'm sure Max would never do anything to hurt you. Not ever. She'd rather hurt herself than hurt you. There must be a good reason why she hasn't called. I don't know what that reason is, but there is one thing I do know – she does love you, Chloe. She always has. And whatever it is that's keeping her from you, it won't last. She'll do whatever it takes to get back to you. You know her as well as I do. She's strong. A lot stronger than people who don't know her think she is. She won't let anything stop her. Nothing will keep her from you. Nothing."

"I wish I could believe that, Mom."

"Believe it. Because it's true. Deep down you know it is. Don't you?"

"I...I don't know. I don't know anything anymore."

"One day you will, Chloe. One day you'll know Max better than anyone else in the world. She'll let you into the deepest, most secret, most guarded parts of herself. She'll open herself up to you totally, Chloe. You and you alone. One day you'll know everything. One day you'll understand. All you need is time."

"Time? Time has done nothing but take things from me - the most precious things I had. The last thing I want is more of it. Time can go hang."

"Do you remember when your swing broke?"

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

"You and Max were upset about it. You both loved that swing, didn't you?"

"Yeah. So?"

"You couldn't play on it for days because your dad was staying at Uncle Aaron's for a spell and wasn't here to fix it. You missed the swing...and you missed your dad. But they both came back, didn't they? Your dad came back, and he repaired the swing for you. Once it was fixed the swing never broke again. Sometimes you have to lose things for a while so that they can come back. And when they return, they return better and stronger than they ever were before."

"The swing was just a thing, Mom. Things don't matter. People matter. I don't care about things."

"You're right. But I wasn't really talking about the swing, though. Chloe...Max never left you. Neither did your dad. They're both still with you. Maybe not in the physical sense, but they're with you in the most important sense of all, the only sense that matters. They both love you, Chloe. I know that you must be able to feel that love – their love for you."

"Maybe. Maybe I do. But what good is that? It just makes it hurt even more. None of us should be apart. It isn't fair."

"I know it isn't. None of us deserve to be alone...Chloe...listen...I...er...need to tell you something...something...erm...something about being alone...about me being alone."

"What?"

"I...can't be alone, Princess. I just can't. We're...um...having a guest come for dinner today."

"Who? Why? I don't feel much like company today, Mom. Cancel it. I don't want to see anyone. Not today. Not for a long time."

"But they want to meet you, Princess. I've told them so much about you already, and it's been nearly a month..."

"A month? What are you talking about?"

"Someone...came into the diner a while back. We talked for a while, and...he seems really nice. His name is David and..."

"No. Please no. Please tell me this isn't happening."

"I didn't want to tell you this late, but I wasn't sure you'd understand. Besides, David and I are just friends. Nothing has happened between us. I promise."

"But it will. How could you do this? To Dad? To me? Thanks Mom. This is just about the worst gift you could ever have got me. A new fucking dad? Are you actually serious? Just fucking fantastic! Way to go Mom! Merry fucking Christmas Chloe!"

"Chloe..."

"GET OUT! JUST FUCKING GET OUT!"