Life is Stranger

A Satisfied Mind

Aaron and William lounged on the porch watching the sun slowly sink towards the treetops lining the edge of the valley. The sound of the girls giggling rippled over the water of the lake as they splashed each other playfully.

"You know Bill, I've never seen two children just so gloriously, wonderfully, joyously happy in each other's company. They're a delight to see. They warm the heart of this old codger. You're a very lucky man, Bill."

"Never a truer word was spoken. Not a day goes by when I'm not thankful for my two little angels. They're simply beautiful. My whole world. I'd die for either of them. I'd give up everything I have for them. They make me and Joyce so happy. All the money in the world couldn't replace them."

"I know Bill. 'The wealthiest person is a pauper at times, compared to the man with a satisfied mind'."

"Oh I'm so, so, sorry Aaron. That was stupid of me. I wasn't thinking..."

"It's okay Bill. You don't have to tread on eggshells around me. I've had years to come to terms with it. I'm resigned to it now. It's my destiny."

"Not...not necessarily. You were diagnosed years back. Things have moved on a lot since then. Maybe you and Roz could go to see a doctor and..."

"I understand what you're trying to do, Bill, but my time is over. It's too late for me now."

"It's never too late. Love is all that matters. If Mom could hear you talking like this she'd clip your ear for you."

William's brother smiled fondly. "Yes, she certainly would...and plenty more besides. She never would let us be sad for long, would she?"

"No. I can hear her now – 'If the wind changes your face will stay like that forever'."

"God bless her soul. Anyway, my life isn't completely empty – I do have love. I have you and your family, and I'm grateful that I do. You're all I have now."

"Don't forget Roz. You have her as well."

"Yeah...Bill, I invited you up here to tell you something. A few things actually. Bill, I...lied to you – Rosalind isn't in Salt Lake City at all."

"What! Why would you lie to me? Where is she then?"

"I'm sorry, but I didn't want to trouble you. Things between us have been bad for about a year now, and only getting worse all the time. I tried to make it better, I really did, but it was no good. Eventually the inevitable happened - a couple of months ago, Rosalind, she...left me. She's gone, Bill. She's left me for someone else."

"She's what? You should have told me sooner. Why am I only hearing about this now?"

"Even though I knew it was coming, it still tore me apart. She destroyed me, Bill. Utterly. She ripped out my insides – gutted and boned me like a fish. Half of me is missing. My heart aches. My stomach aches. I ache all over. I ache for her. I've been a right mess since it happened, and I didn't want anyone to see me like that, least of all you, Joyce and the girls. But somehow, I don't know how, I've managed to yank myself back onto my feet. I never thought I would ever get to where I am now, but now that I have, I need to do a few things before it's too late."

"But...you and Roz were always so close. What happened to you two? Why?"

"We just drifted apart, I guess. We wanted different things from life, I suppose. I used to think that she wanted kids, and that because I couldn't give them to her, she wanted someone that could. As much as it hurt me, I could have accepted that. I'm the one who's infertile, not her. I wouldn't have blamed her. But now I know that wasn't the reason."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Bill, Rosalind was having an affair...with another woman. She left me for a woman, Bill. They live together now. They're planning on getting married."

"Oh my god! She's a...I never would have thought...I'm sorry Aaron. I truly am."

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I'll be okay. Don't worry. Bill...there's something else I need to tell you."

"Please tell me this is something good."

"Er...yes...and no. Bill, I...I have cancer. Terminal cancer. I'm...dying, Bill."

"What! No. Please no. Not you. You're my only brother. First Mom and Dad, and now you. This isn't fair."

"Whoever said life was fair, Bill? You get dealt a hand, and you can either play it or fold. And I'm not going to fold. The time for me to put my cards down on the table is fast approaching, but I have one last ace to play."

"How long...how long do you have?"

"They don't know for sure. It's still in the early stages - I'm not going to pop off next week or anything like that. So take that look off your face – you don't get rid of me that easy. I might have years left. Probably."

"Well that's something, I suppose. You never know, with the right treatment and..."

"I'm not having any treatment, Bill. I've refused it."

"What? Why? Why would you do such a thing?"

"Bill, my life is all but over anyway. I can never have children of my own. My wife has left me. I'm alone...and I'm lonely. But I don't want anyone else. I can't go through that again. The simple truth is, I have nothing much left to live for now. I don't want to be here any longer. I want to die, Bill. Can you understand that?"

"Aaron..."

"Bill, I know this must be hard for you to hear, but listen. This isn't what I had planned. This isn't how I wanted things to end. But here I am. Right now I have only one last concern. You know I have a lot of property, right? This place, Newberg, Portland, Salt Lake City...and a few others. I'm quite a wealthy man, as you know..."

"I don't think I like where this is heading."

"Hear me out. Obviously, Rosalind is going to get a lot of it, but I know what I'm doing and I'm going to be left with a lot, so..."

"I don't want your money, Aaron."

"I know. I knew you'd never accept that. When I do finally die, Bill, I want to die with a satisfied mind. But I have no heirs, Bill. No descendants. No children of my own to pass all that I have on to. I don't want Rosalind to have it all, so I've decided to leave everything I own to someone else..."

"Who?"

Aaron cast his gaze out to the girls frolicking in the water. "Who do you think?"