Forever and Always (Sciles)

91: Stiles' Big Idea

Stiles POV

The rest of the week goes by and things start to improve...ish. People still whisper about me when they think I'm not listening. People still stare at me funnily and a couple of people make a few snide comments to me, but generally though, before they get much further than that, Scott immediately shuts them down. Sometimes, I do come across a few bullies who will do more than say a few snide comments, but Scott always races to my side when I need him. He's helping me get through it. I still feel immensely grateful to have Scott in my life. I know not everyone would do this for me, especially after what I did under the love potion.

I think that the school is paying out Moselle too, but Scott and the others are standing up for her as well, which I am happy about. Moselle doesn't deserve the shit she's getting from people either. It wasn't really our faults about what happened and what we did. I know that now. I might still feel guilty sometimes, but I know that it's not our fault. It was Thalassa's. Ugh, I still hate that bitch and hope that I never have to see her again. I feel sorry for Moselle for having her as a mother. I have to wonder what her father was like? She certainly didn't get her personality or morals from her mother.

Slowly, the amount of whispers about me and the strange stares start to become fewer and far between, but there's always some. Coach still gives me angry looks or gives me extra homework or laps at lacrosse for no legitimate reason. I don't think that's ever going to go away. My reputation has been damaged, but I'm starting to realize that doesn't matter. I don't care what the rest of the school thinks about me. The only opinions that matter to me are my friends and family. They all still love and accept me after all that has happened, and I couldn't ask for anything more. I'm so grateful to have their support. I don't think they'll ever know how grateful I am. I wish there could be this huge way to show it.

Right now though, I'm pacing up and down my room, biting my nails nervously, wondering how I'm going to explain a certain idea of mine to Lydia. I can see her sitting on my bed, looking at me expectantly as I continue to pace up and down the room. I'm worried about how she will react to the idea. I know that I want to do something big, but is it too much? I don't know. I don't want it to seem forced at all because of the whole Moselle situation. I also know that we are very young. I just... I want to prove to Scott that I really do love him and that I do want to spend the rest of my life with him, and him alone. I know he has been struggling with his own insecurities and fears lately. Maybe this will help erase some of those doubts and fears.

"Uh, as amusing as it is to watch you pace around, looking like you're about to tell me that the world is going to end or you're going to die or something, I don't really want to be here all day watching that. What's going on, Stiles? Why did you call me here? What's so urgent? Why do you look so pale and like you're about to throw up or something?" Lydia asks me impatiently. I sigh as I stop pacing and glance over at Lydia, deciding that I need to get this over and done with before I change my mind about telling Lydia altogether.

"Okay. Well. Ever since the love potion thing, I've just felt like I have needed to prove my love for Scott in a big way, you know? To try and make it up to him for all the horrible things that I did to him when I wasn't really myself. I know that I don't have to, that Scott already knows I love him, but I still want to do it." I begin nervously. Lydia nods in understanding, but purses her lips slightly.

"As you said, Stiles. Scott already knows you love him, and he loves you. You don't have to do anything to prove that to him." Lydia tells me.

"Yeah, but I still want to prove it in some way, you know? I want to show him that he means every bit as much to me as much as I mean to him. I want to show him that he doesn't have to be worried about not being good enough for me or for Atlantia and whatever." I explain to Lydia, hoping that she will understand. I fidget with my hands as I begin to get more nervous again. Thankfully, she seems to understand what I was trying to say as she gives me a light smile and a nod in response.