My civilisation (D.D)

Seventy one: Aftermath.

Maggie and Sasha had gone to the hilltop, Maggie needed to make sure her baby was okay and she certainly needed to stay away from Negan.

Daryl was captured by the saviours and I hadn't the faintest clue where he actually was, if he was okay, if he was even alive. I didn't even know if Carol was alive either. I felt utterly empty.

Everyone felt so lost, they'd gone straight to their house, so they could cry in peace and morn the deaths of our family. Our group was broken.

And then there's me. The moment I slammed shut the front door of my house I began to break down.

I slid down the door until I landed on the wooden floor with a loud thump. The tears began to fall as I began to hyperventilate, I made no effort to quieten my sobs that echoed through out the now empty house. I just couldn't keep it in.

I felt so empty, so emotionally drained. I didn't know where my other half was, and I didn't know if he was alive, if they were gonna kill him, I just didn't know.

I buried my head in my knees as my sobs became uncontrollable. Why didn't I stop Daryl from leaving earlier? I could have stopped all this. It was all my fault.

As I cried did I figure out what I had to do:

Tonight I would cry my heart out until I had no tears left, and tomorrow I would get ready to fight. I'd locate the compound myself if I fucking had to.

****

I groaned as I opened my eyes, my back ached as I laid flat against the wooden floor I had fell asleep on last night.

I stared up at the ceiling, making no effort to move, I just didn't have the energy and I still felt so empty inside but when I did find the strength to stand up did I first take a shower.

I washed off all the dried blood that had stained my skin crimson as the water droplets trickled down my skin. The water was boiling, steaming even, it was turning my skin red but I made no effort to change the temperature.

Until I was sure I would run out of water soon did I turn the tap of the shower off. I felt the cold air hit my pores the moment I stepped outside the shower and hugged my towel tightly around my body.

I stepped into mine and Daryl's room, still seeing the bed hadn't been made. And I didn't want to make it now either. It showed Daryl had been here. And I felt as thought making the bed would somehow change that.

To think just about 24 hours ago me and Daryl were lying together in this bed. His arms was wrapped around me and I had my face buried in his chest.