Austin Carlile Is My Father? (#Wattys2015)

I Think I've Hit The Floor

“Well, we’ll have to flunk her for her year and she has to take the class again.” Mrs. Butcher growled. Austin felt his stomach twist. 

“Well, Mrs. Bitcher-I mean Butcher-I can get her started on her classes again.” Austin felt sick to his stomach as he basically gave Mrs. Butcher the finger and hung up the phone. He didn’t want to be rude, but she was really pushing all of his buttons. 

“Who was that?” Phil asked, pausing the game. 

“It was Diane Butcher.” Austin rolled his eyes. “Sienna’s social worker. Wants her to start up correspondence again.”  

“Ugh, school?” Tino groaned, sticking his tongue out. “School sucks.” 

“Yeah. But we’ll have to help her out with it.” Austin said, raising an eyebrow at his bandmates who he had learned to call his brothers and slamming his finger to his nose. “And nose goes for math-” 

Quickly, the men followed Austin’s actions, leaving Alan to groan really loudly. 

“NO! I hate math!” 

“Suck it!” Tino laughed, his finger still on his nose. Austin grinned and looked down at his newest tattoo. Matt had carefully hidden Sienna’s name and Lucy’s name in the stem. You could see the names if he pointed it out, but to everyone else, their names didn’t exist. 

The colors were purple and red, mixed with some yellows. They flew up inside his wrist and to the starting of his lettering of LOVE on his knuckles. He loved his new tattoo. 

Sienna liked it too and she complimented how it looked. She admitted that she wanted a tattoo someday and Austin was all for his daughter having some ink done. But now, he had to worry about her grades, like a normal adult. 

God, who knew being a dad could be so difficult? 

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Sienna

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“Tell me everything.” Vic insisted, pulling her into the back lounge. She could still smell the reminiscences of liquor and weed from the boys having parties back here, but from the looks of things, they haven’t had a party in a long time. Sienna didn’t know why she felt safe enough to talk to Vic. Maybe it was because he seemed less threatening than the others, considering his height, his smile, and his way of going about things. Not to mention how he basically saved her life when she tried to kill herself. She owed him an explanation. 

“Before I do that,” She said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I need to let you know what you’re getting into. Aaron said you have to basically talk to me about my problems. Like, become a therapist. I don’t want that, and I’m sure you have no fucking desire to become some weird girl’s therapist, but I can’t have Austin knowing about this. And becoming a therapist also means that you’re sworn to secrecy. Even to Aaron. Even to Austin. Okay?” She looked up at the young man who had a small frown on his face. 

“Okay, but if I am going to be your ‘therapist’,” he used air quotes with his pointer and middle fingers. “then I have to follow the therapy rules, which mean if I think or believe that you’re going to seriously hurt yourself, even if it’s just pinching yourself, then I have the right to tell someone. Okay?” 

Sienna felt herself nod with confidence. “Okay.” She shook hands with him and he sat her down on the couch. 

“So, Sienna. Tell me everything.” 

So Sienna told him everything. She told him about when she and Lucy were by themselves that she still felt self hatred. When she found out Austin was her father, she was scared so she kept cutting even more. When the fans got angry, her depression worsened. She distracted Austin from her depression by asking him to tell her stories about when he and Lucy were younger. It was a fool proof plan. 

Vic listened intently and nodded at certain parts. He also winced when she told him of all of the self harm related activities she had been a part of. 

Finally, Vic gave a heavy sigh and looked up at Sienna. 

“You do realize that the more you think about what others think of you, the more insecure you get which seems to be the root of your anxiety, which just worsens your depression?” He asked gently. Sienna blinked. 

“Well, yeah, I know I’m insecure, but-” she trailed off. “-God, you must think I’m stupid or something.” 

“No, I don’t.” Vic laughed. “See, you’re getting anxious because you think I think you’re stupid. If you don’t think about it, then it won’t affect you.” 

Sienna’s face screwed up with concentration. “What the hell do you mean?” 

Vic chuckled and wrapped his arm around Sienna. “Look, when you think about it, you just more paranoid. When you’re paranoid, you start getting worried. You can’t get worried over something that doesn’t exist, right?” 

Once again, Sienna blinked blankly at Vic. “You have a strange theory, Mr. Fuentes.” 

Vic shrugged. “It worked for me.” 

They sat there in silence until Sienna clicked her tongue. “Okay. I need you to talk to Aaron now.” 

Vic looked over at her with a puzzled look on his face. 

“Why?” 

“Because, he wants to make sure I actually found someone. He gave me two days to find someone or he threatened to tell Austin.” 

“...Clever...” Vic said, pulling out his phone. As he talked to Aaron, Sienna fiddled with her sleeves. The urge to cut was still lingering in her mind. 

The fans must think she’s an attention whore. She remembered Vic’s advice and she tried to block out the insults. 

They think I’m an attention whore. They think I’m an attention. They think I’m an. They think I’m. They think. They. ...

She felt her lips curl into a smile. The weight was off her shoulders as the insults disintegrated, but she felt numb. Should she feel happy? 

Could she even feel happy anymore?