"Duuuuudeeeee," I groaned laying flat on the floor, hands coving my face with my fingers tugging at my hair slightly. "God I'm a fucking idiot! I was such a dick head."
"Goddamn it Stan, I really don't want to hear you wallow in self-pity right now," Cartman grunted on the couch. He was taking up most of the couch and I had sunk down to the floor, so I was physically almost as low as I felt emotionally.
"Why am I like this? God Kyle probably does actually hate me now," I groaned again. "Wait!" I shot up into an upright position, tugging at my hair, "what if he breaks up with me? God, I'd fucking deserve it."
"Stanley! Get a fucking grip, Jesus," he hissed at me. "First of all hands out of your hair your fucking becoming Tweek, and last thing I need is two gay spazes, god. Second, your Stan and Kyle, you guys, whether you admit it or not, have been super boyfriends since like the beginning of times trust me when I say Kyle wouldn't dump you. Trust me I've tried to convince him to get rid of your alcoholic ass. Which brings me to my third and final point; you fucking ARE an alcoholic, and your 'like this', because of every minor inconvenience you throw yourself a pity party and drink yourself into early liver failure. I'm all for watching people downfalls but yours isn't fun or my doing, it's just sad and gross."
"Goddamn it! I'm not an alcoholic!" I yelled my head throbbing at the effort to raise my voice.
"Whatever Stanley, the jew rat isn't going to leave you that's all I'm saying, actually for some reason he cares so much about your twink ass it's disgusting."
"Ew never call me a twink again," I grimaced. "And Hey! Don't call my boyfriend a 'jew rat' you tub of lard!"
"Just calling them like I see them no need to attack me!" he shrugged in defiance.
"I really hate you," I said deadpan to him.
"Yeah yeah love you too or whatever," he just leaned forward to flick me in the head.
"Oh fuck off," I shook my head, "your such an ass Cartman."
"It's my job," he snuggly smiled. I smiled and got up off the floor making my way to the kitchen.
"Where you going?"
"Kitchen, need something?"
"Yeah, there's a bag of cheesy poofs in the cabinet I'm gonna turn something on to watch and I feel weird if I'm not eating when I'm watching TV."
"Then damn if not eating makes you feel weird you must feel weird all the time you fat fuck," I chuckled.
"AYE! Don't fucking call me fat! I'm big-boned!" He whined but I continued laughing making my way to the kitchen. Above the skin were two windows that looked out onto Cartman's back patio where Kyle was on FaceTime pacing back and forth, I watched as he grabbed at his side laughing. God, I'd kill to hear him laugh just all the time, it is the sweetest sound in the world. I opened the fridge and took a beer from a twelve-pack in the fridge before taking Cartman his snacks. I cracked the can open with my teeth and took a long gulp. I needed something to distract me, give me a comfortable fog, and lift me up slightly from all the tensions around me. Everything had been so heavy recently why can't we just have some light-hearted fun, no drama or threats of inillation against us?
"What are we watching?" I asked when I came back into the kitchen.
"Dunno yet, have decided," Cartman mumbled clicking threw Netflix. He gave a side glance before snapping his head back to me.
"What?"
"Dude.... You have got to be shitting me," his face blank and eyes narrowed.
"What?" I asked again.
"Stanely, you are unbelievable," he scoffed.
"Do I look like a mind reader?" I scoffed back plopping down next to him on the couch.
"Never mind you dense moron, have you heard from Kenny?"
"No... he said he'd call me later."
"oh..." an unsteady silence formed between us the only sound just the clicking of remote buttons as Cartman searched for something to watch. For once in our lives, Eric Cartman seemed to have nothing left to say.
"We could watch The Walking Dead?" I suggested unnerved by the quiet. Scilnce like this made my skin itch.
"Fuck no, that shows hella lame and so are you for watching in," Eric groaned but with a trace of a smile on his lips. I threw a light elbow at him.
"Shut up, I don't see you making up your mind any time soon," he threw an elbow back.
"Here," he stopped on a show, "how about hoarders? It's a show all about you, but unlike you, I don't watch the same shows over and over again," Eric laughed.
"You suck Cartman like so much," I laughed.
"Okay but seriously, this okay?" Eric had clicked on a show.
"What is it?"
"Exactly what the title says, Two-sentence horror stories," Eric rolled his eyes.
"They made a show based on a Reddit threat?"
"Fuck off dude," he shoved me over on the couch and we both just laughed before he hit play. With the sound of the TV playing it was more comfortable to not be talking. Neither of us really paid attention to the show. It was exactly as Cartman had described it, a sentence would come up, and then some kind of 'horror' story is played before seeing the last part of the sentence. Eric kept sneaking glances at me as if he wanted to say something but never did.
"I'm getting another beer, want anything else while I'm up?' I asked rising from the couch where I'd been plastered on my side somewhere between laying down and sitting up never moving from when Cartman shoved me over.
"Wait dude, stop okay?" he exhaled deeply. I didn't respond, just paused to give him a confused look. "Christ I can't believe I'm about to say this, this is so fucking gay," he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Spit it out dude, you've looked like you've had something to say for a while," I scowled.
"Well obviously for some reason, Kyle's sickinly in love with you, and Kenny for some reason tolerates you meaning he has to care at least a little bit and- and well... you know?"
"..."
"I care about you fuck head! and Kyle and I were talking this morning he's worried about you and so am I! I've never really talked about it seriously with the guys before and Kyle and I did actually talk and not just make a passing comment and then totally rip on you. I don't like watching you throw your life away... all for a bottle. I know I'm not like good at this stuff, and- I know I encourage it and I'm a shitty friend and- but you- and well I... just- please Stan, hear us fucking out?"
"Cartman..." coming from him all of this was huge.
"Just please, try and help yourself before it's too late and you end up like my mom or something," he gave a nervous laugh trying to lighten the mood with the joke about his mom. Cartman hated being vulnerable like this so of course he couldn't have a completely honest and whole moment.
"I'm not- I- Wel... Look, dude, I just..." I stammered out, "It's complicated," I settled on.
"How is it complicated Stan?"
I went back to stammering incoherent thoughts trying to string together a coherent thought but ultimately couldn't.
"You need to stop, or get help, or something dude. Watching you do this to yourself is tearing Kyle apart and I already can't handle him on a normal day let alone when he's crying at me," he tried to sound tough but the look on his face conveyed his genuine concern for not just me but Kyle too.
"Why do you pretend to hate him so much?" my lip slightly quivered as I tried to smirk.
"Just like how you're Stan and Kyle, We're Kyle and Cartman, we've been doing it so long can't stop now," he gave a sad smile. "Trust me, the feelings are mutual," he added on and I let out a sharp laugh, the kind that comes out when you don't know what else to do.
YOU ARE READING
The Sun and The Moon (south park stanxkyle)
FanfictionSouth park Style fanfic I'm the one writing this and not even I know what's going on, thanks for reading and enjoy the choas 'Sometime between then and now he got colder, his eyes got duller and his smiles were rare. He was like the moon, so far awa...
