I got boulders on my shoulders

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Kenny and I were now comfortably situated back on the couch, slouched down laying and occaislonly kicking at each other demanding more leg room. Kenny and Cartman played some racing game against each other, I didn't really pay much attention just waiting for Kyle and maybe Butters if he was still here.

"Hey, Eric?" I interrupted their focused silence.

"What?" he answered, it was more of a grunt than words.

"Can I stay here? I don't want to deal with my dad."

"Oh yeah me too," Kenny added with a fake sweetness to his voice.

"Goddamn hippies, every time my mom leaves to go whore around with whatever boyfriend she has in Denver you guys always have to crash it."

"Please?" I added it to my request.

"Pretty please?" Kenny added still fake sweet.

"Yeah whatever, guess it beats being alone anyway," Cartman sighed giving in.

"Aw, Cartman I'm touched," Kenny whipped away a fake tear placing a hand on his chest being his over-dramatic self. "It's almost like- like you like us," he broke out into a wide grin.

"Whatever feeds your ego," Cartman snipped back and Kenny and I just laughed. The front door opened and I whipped my head over to see Kyle come in, Butters in tow.

"Hey! I thought you would have left," I said letting the enthusiamine seep into my voice.

"Uh yeah, we just needed some time," Kyle answered.

"The poor boy and your super boyfriend are staying over, you in jew boy?" Cartman asked.

"Eric Cartman," I smiled widely before continuing in my teasing tone, "Are you being considerate right now?"

"Shut up, I could kick your gay asses out right now," Cartman retorted back.

"Yeah I'm down, I don't want to go home."

"Can I stay too? I was going to ask actually! So this is perfect, anyway, my dad's been in a real mood recently. I mean I was gonna ask you fellas if we could all sleepover, this is perfect!" Butters chirped up for the first time since coming back inside. Kenny looked at me wide-eyed before mouthing to me, fuck! What do I do?

"Yeah whatever, I already have two fags staying over, might as well make it three. God you moches are unbeilvale."

"Hey you offered," Kyle smiled slyly and Eric just rolled his eyes.

"Hey, Kenny." Butters eyes looked around nervously before sitting on the floor in front of the couch, Kenny's expression only getting wider as a call for help, one that I smugly ignored. Kyle walked over looking defeated and more anxious than before. I sat up making room for him next to me which he sat down in thumping his head onto my shoulder. I put my arm around him gently rubbing his shoulder.

"Ew, are you two going to be all gay with each other?" Cartman snorted, "It was one thing when you were fucking each other with your eyes, now you're going to be drooling all over each other."

"Shut it fatass you're just jealous it's not you drooling all over Kyle," Kenny teased getting a glare from Cartman. Kyle visibly gagged at the implication.

"God Kenny, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Kyle asked face twisted with distane.

"I swear I'm the only one here whos not all gay for each other," Cartman grunted, Kenny returned the glare now.

"Nope, just jealous you get no bitches," Kenny snipped back snidely.

"I get bitches," Cartman retorted, "I could have whoever I wanted I just choose not to!"

"liar, liar, liar," Kenny teased in a sing-song voice.

"You aren't getting any either!" Cartmans voice started to raise and he and Kenny continued bickering back and forth but I looked to Kyle. His eyes were dull, the kind of dullness that came from when he was thinking too much and not in a good way.

"You okay?" I asked rubbing circles on his bicep with my thumb.

"Nothing," he mumbled but I could tell it was a lie, anxiety radiated off him. His whole body was tense, shoulders and knees squeezed together, his hands folded in his lap but he was holding onto his hands hard enough that his knuckles were white.

"I call bullshit," I said in a low voice next to his ear, "What's wrong ky?"

"Really nothing, I'm just kind of tired," he shrugged. Another lie.

" Come on dude, talk to me, you get all pissed when I don't talk to you."

"That's different, you don't talk and instead get shitfaced," he replied with a sigh.

"So how's this different?"

"My liver won't fail," a ghost of a smile on his lips but his eyes said it was a genuine concern.

"Okay yeah say what you want, I'm fine but you're not. seriously spit it out," I said skipping over his concern.

"Just leave it Stan please?" he almost begged me. "Let's just be stupid guys tonight, everything feels like it's too heavy. Life feels like its crushing me and I want to step away before it does crush me and my chest colalposes."

"Wow, where that all coming from?" now it was my turn to be concerned.

"Juts leave it alone!" Kyle said a harsh with a bite to his words. He sighed pinching his nose and inhaled deeply exhaling like he had been holding his breath, "Sorry, we can talk about it later right now I want to forget I'm totally fucked."

"You're not fucked dude," I tried to reassure him not entirely sure what he meant but still wanted to make him feel better. The bickering between Kenny and Cartman had died down a while ago, and the two including Butters now scrolling threw Netflix.

"let's watch something scary," Cartman urged.

"Netflix's horror movies suck plus I've seen them all already," Kenny groaned.

"You can't afford heating but you can fucking pay for netflix??" cartman breathed out in both annoyance and shock. "God I hate poor people," he added.

"No you fuck! I barrow Craig's account," Kenny replied matter of factly. "and if you hate poor people so much then why do you keep me around huh?" he now smirked at Cartman.

"Becuase like true scum, you. wont. go. away." Cartman said punchiwating his words with a clap of his hands.

"Why don't we watch a show then?" Butters suggests.

"What can we watch in a day Butters?" Cartman huffed turning his annoyance from Kenny to Butters now.

"I don't know, we could find something with just a season or two there's a couple good shows that got canceled," Butters rubbed his knuckles together like he always had since we were kids. It was weird to me how we could grow up but still kept small habits like that. We could change into a completely different person and still when it boiled down to our core; there were parts of our former selves we could never get rid of.

I felt Kyle's phone vibrate against my thigh from his pocket, he flinched but otherwise remained unbothered by the sensation.

"You going to get that?" I asked nudging him.

"It's probably spam," he responded dully.

"Ooh! Can I answer it? Please ? I have a good one ready and everything," I asked excitedly. Usually answering spam calls with dumb bullshit was something the four of us all got a kick out of, Kyle would jump at the opportunity and usually got a good laugh from it, but now he just shook his head 'no'.

"Oh okay," I said a bit put off by his lack of reasons but otherwise shrugged it off. There was an odd guilt pooling in my chest tugging at me saying that I should continue to intervene, I needed to get to the bottom of what was bothering him, but Kyle was stubborn and short-tempered. He would resist and resit until he snapped like a rubber band.

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