The Sun and The Moon (south park stanxkyle)

In, out, breathing exercises I'll never figure out

The room had an aerie silence as Butters ran away, Kyle not that far behind him.

"Dude..." Cartman said breaking the silence.

"Dude...." I responded exchanging a look with Cartman. Kenny sunk into the couch with his face in his hands letting as grown out before taking his hair by the handful.

"What the fuck is wrong with me," he let out in a whine. There was one unspoken rule in the group; don't fuck with Butters. Somehow he had managed to keep his naivety and optimism from the world, unlike the rest of them Butters had managed to escape being beaten down by the world and building up a hard exterior. Butters still remained, sweet and lovable, still being emotionally vulnerable and Kenny had just attacked his vulnerability.

"Yeah Kenny, that was really fucked up," Cartman said sounding pissed off by the display he had just witnessed.

"Shut your fat ass mouth," Kenny snapped.

"Jesus, do you have sand in your vagina too? I thought that was a Kyle-exclusive problem," Cartman rolled his eyes.

"Common Stan, I need a smoke," Kenny groaned pushing himself into an upright position. I noticed the jitteriness of his presence while he was sitting, he moved almost too quickly as he led himself through the living room and made his way to the back door.

"Yeah maybe you'll stop being such a dick," I said following Kenny's route outside.

Kenny's fingers fumbled with the lighter and he let out a frustrated grunt finally managing to get the lighter to work. He tossed it to me before taking a sharp quick inhale blowing smoke out his nose as he breathed out just as heavily as he breathed in. The tension in his body had him strung high, almost like Kyle was constantly a rare way to see Kenny however

"Dude..."

"I love him," Kenny said quietly before taking another angry drag.

"Ken what?"

"I have loved him since the fourth grade, I have loved him since fucking Hawaii, sure I fuck around a lot, but goddamn it I love him and I can't stop."

"Kenny you're not making any sense, what?" I repeated my question. I had managed to light my own cigarette with a lot more ease than he had, letting it dangle from my lips as Kenny furiously sucked in air shortening the ciggerret significantly faster than mine.

"Christ Stan, were you dropped on your head as a baby? You can't be that dense."

"Ouch dude, who pissed in your cheerios," I said letting my annoyance creep into my response.

"Sorry- sorry, I know but just," he took a deep breath before sucking in the last of the smoke visibly relaxing now when his shoulders dropped. "I'm talking about Butter dude," Kenny sighed in disbelief.

"You can't blame me for my own stupidity Kenny, I mean look at my dad," I joked earning a small chuckle from him.

"But I don't know man, we've been friends forever, me and Butters I mean, and I just can't figure it out. I really love him, Stan, he's not like everyone else. I can't deal with life without him and he's not just someone, he's fucking Butters." Kenny smiled in spite of himself, "I remember in fourth grade when he beat up Scott Malcomson, he was yelling at everyone and he said I was the only one with any dignity, and then you all made me go with him to Hawaii. Rember that?" I nodded at his remittance and he grinned widely. "That was it, that was when I fell in love, and it hasn't gone away, I can't make it stop."

"Shit dude, you're down bad," I smiled and Kenny mimicked the expression.

"I don't want to hear it Marsh, you've been pining over Brovfloski over there longer than even you've known it," he said fighting yet again to light another cigarette, hands shaking.

"Need help?" he sighed and handed me the lighter and I effortlessly lit the cigarette for him.

"Why are you so shaky anyway?"

"Probably because I skipped breakfast and fatass ate all the snacks," he sighed with a smile that didn't meet his eyes but I just tried to blow it off. It wasn't like it was unusual for Kenny to skip meals.

"Is that why you're so cranky," I joked. We all teased Kenny about how he got when he was hungry. He was similar to a small child in that way a picky eater who would start to angrily go off on every smaller annoyance until someone offered him some chicken nuggets or goldfish crackers maybe.

I would have never imagined, Kenny 'Mc-whore-mick' falling in love," we both laughed.

"I have looked at him every day for years and for years he hasn't looked back and out of fucking nowhere he's pinning over Red McAuthor of all people, all because she plays 'Hello Kitty Island Adventure too?" the annoyance and anger slightly coming back to him. "I don't understand it, dude," he shook his head. "It's my fault, I haven't made any real attempt at making a move on him so I shouldn't be mad at him but goddamn I can't stand it."

Shit was this how Ky felt about me and Wendy? No wonder he pulled away. I had been holding it in, a small bit of resistance against Kyle that I didn't realize I was holding for when he started to distance himself. He started to pull away when we started high school, but looking back on it now, it was me who put the distance between us. I let him slip away from me over some stupid girl who thought I was just too much to handle, I picked some, whore over the boy that had been with me our entire lives.  It hit me just how fucked it really was.

"Kenny it's not your fault," I tried to reassure him.

"Stan... Please, get your head out of your ass it's not a cute hat," Kenny scoffed I just shot him a semi-hurt look. "This is completely my fault and I don't even know how to make a move and I can't just lash out at him because that sure as shit ain't getting me any closer to gettin' with him," Kenny said his words starting to slur together due to how fast he was talking. It was something I had noticed about Kenny, the more angry he got the faster he talked, the harder it was to understand him and the more he sounded like a redneck with a slight country accent that only came out when he was mad.

"You could start with apologizing?" I suggested, Kyle would probably be better at helping him rather than me having lived threw this himself. Kenny's right I am fucking dense.

"Well duh but what do I say? 'Hey sorry there B, I lashed out because I'm in love with you and you brought this girl over who fucking hates us.'"

"I don't know Ken, relationships are hard dude, I'm not good at advice and shit," I shrugged.

"I know Stanley, " Kenny said a hand on my shoulder like he was trying to be serious but lost it and burst out laughing.

"What's so funny you asshole?" I laughed with him, Kenny was one of those people with a contagious laugh.

"I don't even know dude, I have my fuckin boxers in a bunch because of Red? And then just- just like eye contact? I don't know I can't look people in the eyes without laughing." We cough our breaths after having a small laughing fit.

"Okay so I'm going to backtrack here a little, Red plays Hello Kitty Adventure Island?"

"Yes."

"And you know this how?"

"Butters told me," Kenny smirked.

"But can we just take a moment, because Red plays fucking Hello Kitty Adventure Island?"

"I know dude it's fucking hilarious, my sister played that game in like elementary school so the fact that she still, actually no- both of them still play it is really fucking funny."

"So what were you guys playing before Ky and I came in?"

"GTA and I got to admit, Red was actually kicking ass, if she wasn't such an asshole maybe I could find it somewhere deep deep deep in my bones to like her. Oh! And another thing? Why are you the only one allowed to call Kyle Ky?" Kenny asked his hands on his hips like a middle school girl about to start a 'fight'.

"I don't know?"

"I called him that and he yelled at me dude, said it was only your name for him," Kenny elbowed me wiggling his eyebrows in a joking manner and I couldn't help but get red in the face. He only wants me to call him Ky because that's my special nickname for him. I liked the idea of calling him by a name that no one else would use, it was mine, just mine, like him.