Let's Recelebrate (a Joshler story) (Celebrate ALTERNATE version)

⭒ CXXXIX ⭒

"And I couldn't tell you because I... I felt trapped and silenced and I was a mess and I hated myself for so many reasons... I just couldn't tell you", Josh said. "But... but now I am. And I... I'm not telling the others about me and Fred. It's just... just between you and me and him", Josh said.

At that moment, the door opened. "Oh! I- I thought you were in Colin's dorm... sorry, should I come back later?" Fred asked. "No, no come in, please", Josh said. "I uh... was just telling him that I have a crush on you", he said. Fred blushed. "...oh", he said, as he sat down next to Josh. "...also that I have a crush on you?" He asked. "Mhm", Josh nodded with a soft smile.

"Wait you guys are actually together?" Colin asked. "No, no", Fred shook his head. "No we- we're not, not yet- I-I mean, not now", Josh replied. "Ohhh not yet", Colin grinned. "Shut up", Fred said with a laugh as he rolled his eyes. "Nothing's going on right now. No matter how much either of us would want that."

"I can't believe you guys are still into each other pretty much a year after that kiss", Colin said. Josh gave him a light shove with a blush. "Shush, we- we can't do anything about that", he said. "I just think it's cute", Colin smiled. "Not the right timing right now, I think... but if it's already been present for a year then I'm pretty positive about it lasting a while longer", he smiled. "I hope so", Josh blushed.

"One thing I know for sure is that Fred would never hurt you the way Dustin did. I know he'd be good for you. Just makes me happy", Colin said. "You deserve to smile and feel much better again. Not saying you'll be unconditionally happy all the time, or that suddenly everything is solved and you're cured, but I know it'll make it easier when you got less stress and worries about how you're gonna be treated by the person who should be there for you all the time. The person that's supposed to be your safety blanket", he said.

"Dustin was... anything but that", Josh said. "It's... its weird to know that I... I now ended it, officially", Josh said softly. "I did love him, I always had love for him, no matter what he did... I- I don't know why", Josh softly shrugged. "And it's... weird, knowing I won't be going to his dorm every day anymore, that I won't have to choose him or you guys anymore... it's in the past", he said. "It also makes me nervous."

Fred and Colin didn't really know how to reply to that. It was definitely not unheard of, people having genuine love for their abuse partner in abusive relationships. It was still tough to hear though, 'cause that's why Josh had put himself through so much shit for way too long.

"I just... don't really wanna be alone any time soon", Josh softly said. "We won't let you be", Fred said. "At least one of us will be with you, yeah?" He said. Josh smiled. "I'd really appreciate that", he said. "I... don't trust my own mind just yet. Not so soon after everything... I'm scared I'll do something I don't want to do", he said. "Like..." Colin trailed. "Like going back, or something", Josh said. "Because of how I got so used to it... and now life's changing a lot very quickly and I don't wanna get scared and panic and run back", he said.

"I can never let you run back", Fred said softly. "Please keep that promise, no matter how much I'd beg you to let me go back", he said. "I promise", Fred told him. Josh grabbed his hand and he gently squeezed.

"By the way, Josh... I was thinking, y'know... about the STD", Fred started. "...what about it?" Josh asked, lifting his head back up. "Well... I- I know he cheated on you with that girl, Bethany", he started. "And that she knew you and him were together when she slept with him, which makes her a terrible person, but... maybe you should tell her", Fred said. "An STD is a very serious thing with very big consequences when left untreated... she can be the biggest asshole in the world but I think she has a right to know when she's sleeping with someone who has an STD and might've passed it on to her..." he trailed.