Let's Recelebrate (a Joshler story) (Celebrate ALTERNATE version)

⭒ CXXXVIII ⭒

"Okay", Josh softly said. "I uh..." he trailed. He didn't know how to say it.

"I wanna- wanna break up with you", he softly said. When he heard Dustin laugh, his stomach turned. "I- I'm serious", Josh said, voice vulnerable. "You- you hurt me too much, you made me- me feel like I was- I was worthless, you... you've made me f-feel unsafe", Josh said; he could feel the tears. "You... used me and- and forced me into- into sexual things that I never wanted and was not ready for, you- you made m-me feel lonely and you- you tried to boss me around and- and tell me what I could and couldn't do and you- you tried to tell me I- I couldn't be friends with F-Fred anymore. You- you punched him, and my best f-friend, you- you were awful to Kit and Joe and I- I still gave you a m-million chances because I- I hoped they were wrong about you but- but they were not, because I was the one who- who was wrong, I didn't- didn't see it as a dealbreaker when I should have", Josh said. He wiped his cheeks to get rid of his tears.

"You- you always made me f-feel like everything was my own f-fault and I deserved it all", Josh cried. "You- you gave m-me a goddamn STD because you- you always p-pushed me to have unsafe sex w-with you, and on t-top of all that, last n-night..." Josh trailed. "L-last night you raped me", Josh cried. "A-and I'm done. I'm done. I- you m-make me wanna f-fucking kill myself, you- you've ruined my f-first year in college and- and you're ruining the b-beginning of my s-second, and I can't let you do that anymore, I- I can't", he said. "For me, you- you ruined everything. You ruined me", Josh said. "You- you've h-hurt me so much. M-mentally and physically", he said, showing Dustin the bruises that were now much darker on his arm.

"Oh boo hoo, little Joshua got his feelings hurt", Dustin pouted sarcastically. Josh felt the pang in his heart; Dustin didn't care. He didn't care about him or what he'd done to him. Not even a little bit.

"Don't be such a fucking drama queen, you weak fuck", he rolled his eyes. "I- I'm n-not", Josh stuttered; he felt so weak, exactly like what Dustin said. But he tried to stand up for himself. "You- you b-broke up with me b-because of your jealousy b-but then tried to- to tell me I m-made it up and it- it wasn't true. You've b-been manipulative the whole t-time", Josh said. "I- I should've never said yes w-when you asked m-me to be your boy-boyfriend, no- no matter how drunk I- I was", Josh stuttered. That made Dustin laugh.

"You think I asked you to be my boyfriend?" he laughed. "Of course not! You think you don't remember because you were drunk? You don't remember because it never happened. But you're so fucking gullible that it was so easy to make you believe you did. I just told you, and you just went with it! It's laughable. Hilarious, really", Dustin said.

Josh's jaw had dropped. He'd been with Dustin this whole time, but he never even asked him to be? He never even said yes to the relationship? Dustin just... pretended that he did? He just lied to him, making him think he'd said yes to a relationship when he didn't? He'd made him feel bad for considering not giving Dustin a chance and breaking it off, but there had never been something to break off 'cause he had never even said yes. That's exactly why Josh never remembered it. Because it didn't happen.

He felt dizzy, he felt as if he had to throw up. "Y-you lied to me t-this whole time?" Josh asked. Dustin simply just shrugged with a chuckle. Josh felt disgusting.

"W-why would you- why- what did I- I do to deserve this?" Josh cried. "I- I never wronged you, I- I didn't- didn't do anything t-to deserve this", he sniffled. "Why did- did you h-have to do this to me", Josh asked, vision cloudy. Dustin shrugged. "You looked like a good fuck."

That just made Josh even more nauseous than he already was. He wanted to tear his skin off. "Should've just stuck to Bethany only. She's not a fucking crybaby like you", he said. "Or maybe I should finally give Mindy her lucky day. She's been begging me to fuck her and asking me to dump you and Bethany for months now."