A Book Of Crazy Rants

My Parents: No, Mom. It's Not A Choice

⚠️ THIS RANT CONTAINS LOTS OF SWEARING. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK ⚠️

My Parents: No, Mom. It's Not A Choice

I don't know if any of you are aware, but I had been unemployed for the past three years thanks to dumbass COVID. COVID happened, we had to pack up the house, move, then it was the holidays, looking for a house, waiting until we find what city we wanted to live in, traveling, staying with my brother, all this shit got in the way.

This is where the rant comes in...

I come out of my room to make dinner and I hear my dad say that it's really not healthy to stay in my room all day and that it's solitary confinement. And then my mother replies that it's a choice.

...

BULLSHIT.

SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW FUCKING SICK AND TIRED I AM OF SITTING IN BED, WATCHING THE SAME MOVIES, THE SAME YOUTUBE VIDEOS OVER AND OVER AGAIN ALL DAMN DAY!

It's not like I'm trying!

The past few days, I've been looking on Indeed.com every day and found nothing in our area. At least not anything I'm qualified for or anything I'd be interested in so at least I'm trying.

And I've been looking for any publishers who could publish HH so if somehow, I find one, I would be bringing home extra cash. I want, so damn badly, to get a damn job, but I can't drive and we live in an area where there's NOTHING around us. NOTHING. So that kind of limits my options, but yet, of course they manage to blame me for not finding anything or for not knowing how to drive.

And then, they moved on to a different topic when they saw me come in like I didn't just hear them accuse me of being a lazy piece of shit.

I'M FUCKING TRYING! BUT THEY DON'T FUCKING SEE THAT!

UGH!

BELIEVE ME, GUYS, THIS IS NOT THE LIFE THAT I WANT! I WANT TO WORK, I WANT TO START MAKING MONEY, I WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS AND GAIN A SOCIAL LIFE (THAT'S PARTLY WHY I STARTED PRACTICING READING OUT LOUD TO IMPROVE MY SPEECH), I WANT TO GET A LIFE, PERIOD!

*sighs, rubs my temples*

And apparently, it's all my damn fault for not at least trying which is so damn unfair.

I'm sorry for rambling, but this is just so fucking unfair.

DISCLAIMER

I don't want you guys to think that this is a choice I'm making because it's not. I hear that you have exams, you're going to college, you have work and I get jealous because I want something that'll keep me occupied. That's part of the reason why I loved writing Dysarthria (subtle plug). I got to imagine my life in a totally different way. I don't want any of y'all to judge me because I am trying to find a life for myself.

It was also the fact that they were talking behind my back instead of telling me straight up to find a job, give me the chance to explain that I'd been trying.

Peace out!