Let's Recelebrate (a Joshler story) (Celebrate ALTERNATE version)

⭒ XCVIII ⭒

Josh sighed softly as he put his bag down and he sat down at his desk. He inhaled and exhaled shakily, and tears were welling up within seconds. He looked over his shoulder to Fred, seeing that his full attention was on whatever he was doing and his headphones blocked out pretty much anything else, so Josh turned back around and let the tears roll as he silently cried.

//

Colin had been texting Josh non-stop, asking to see him, asking if he was okay, if he'd overstepped any boundaries and that if he did, he was sorry. But Josh couldn't bring himself to reply, 'cause he didn't even know the answer to any of these questions himself. He only knew that really, Colin didn't do anything wrong. He was just afraid of disappointing his best friend, and he was afraid that Colin would be angry at him. He wanted to avoid both of those situations, and so he ignored him.

Eventually, when he'd been trying to make his homework but his anxiety and worries were eating him up from inside out, he got up from his desk and left his dorm room. He swallowed difficultly as he walked to the common area, and while he'd avoided talking to anyone so far, he saw a guy on his own in the kitchen, and Josh approached him.

"Hi", Josh said. "Hey man", the guy replied. "Do you uh... d'you happen to know which dorm Joe is in? Uhm... black curls, he plays drums... he- he has a boyfriend-" Josh started. "Oh! Kit's boy. Yeah, he's in the other wing of the building, floor 3, room 5", the guy said. Josh gave him a nod. "Thank you", he said. "No probs", the guy replied, resuming what he was doing.

Josh left the common area and went into the hall, making his way downstairs and to the other wing of the building, then going up to the third floor. He breathed in shakily as he stood in front of the door, hesitating, but he forced himself to knock on the door. As he waited, breath wavering, he felt his tears welling up again and he wanted to walk away, when the door opened and Joe was there. "Oh, Josh! Hi", Joe said. "H-hi", Josh swallowed difficultly. "Uhm... Did- did I... did I uh..." he struggled to speak the words, and he wiped a tear away.

"Did I ruin... it? Did I- did I ruin a chance at f-friendship w-with you and- and with Kit b-because of... if I- if I'm... if I'm with... Dustin?" Josh asked, breath hitching as a few tears rolled down his face.

"What? No, no of course not", Joe frowned worriedly. "Come on, c'mon in", Joe said as he reached for Josh's hand and he grabbed it, opening the door more to lead Josh into the dorm - and revealing that Kit was there as well. He looked just as worried to see Josh in front of the dorm room crying as well.

"Hey, are you okay? Do you want some water?" Kit asked as he got up from sitting on the bed, making his way to Josh, who nodded softly. Kit reached up to gently wipe one of Josh's tears away. "Or some tea? Or both?" he asked. Josh just nodded, and Kit did so too. "Okay, I'll get both", he said. Josh wanted to say thank you but he couldn't, and Joe got him to sit down as Kit went to get the drinks.

"Hey, deep breaths okay?" Joe said gently, rubbing the back of Josh's hand with his thumb. It just made Josh cry more, and he hated crying in front of people he didn't know well, but it felt so good to have him and Kit care about him.

Kit came back with the drinks and they let Josh cry, gently comforting him as they waited for the boy to calm down. Kit offered him the glass and Josh accepted it as he took a few sips, and Kit then put the glass down for him again.

"D'you wanna talk about what's wrong?" Kit asked and Josh nodded softly. "I just.. I- I didn't- I didn't know w-what Dustin did t-to you", he sniffled. "I- I had no idea, and he's- he's just... just been kind t-to me", he said. "I really didn't- didn't know, and- and now I'm- I'm scared that it ruined my chance at f-friendship with you guys but I- I- I was really happy t-that I met you and- and I thought I m-made a friend but now- now I'm not s-so sure 'cause I- I totally get it if you don't- if you don't wanna be f-friends with me because of t-this and I-" he rambled.