Ethereal {WLW}

Chapter Fifty-Seven: Not So Happy Holidays

Cami's POV:

It's a few days before Christmas and I feel my stomach turning as I wake up this morning. My feet touch the cold wood below me, causing a shiver to run down my spine as my stomach increases in pain.

Ethan comes home today and I can't help but feel like it's already going to be miserable holiday for me. Savannah made it very apparent that she didn't want to come home this Christmas and be around Ethan, which I understand. I understand her desire to rather be with Riley's family, but I feel a bit emotional at the thought of this being my first holiday without her.

Tears prick my eyes as my heart aches. Not only is it my first holiday without Savannah, but I also can't celebrate with Rhea. Rhea went back to Massachusetts a few days ago, finishing up her semester and even though she seemed understanding that we couldn't spend the holiday together, I still felt guilty.

It also doesn't help that her birthday is around the corner and we still have no idea how we're going to celebrate. I don't know if Ethan's family will be gone by then since they usually stay until New Years, sometimes longer and I know she wants to celebrate in Massachusetts alongside her family. It's just too quick of a turn around for me and the kids... I just don't think I can make it happen.

I sigh as I run my hands down my face and slowly get up. I instantly put on her sweatshirt and let its warmth consume me. We saw each other last weekend and honestly, it hurt to go our separate ways by Sunday. I hate that we can't just come home to each other and we have to jump though all these hoops, but I know one day this will all be worth it.

I make my way downstairs, already smelling the sweet aroma of something being made when I enter the kitchen to see my mom making French toast. Both boys are helping her as Beck dips the bread in the egg mixture and Graham flips the toast, which he's gotten very good at thanks to Rhea.

"Hey, birdie." My mom says as she turns around, putting her glasses on top of her grey and unkept hair.

I sigh as I lean against the countertop furthest from the boys, trying to find any bit of face that I can show to make the boys believe that this Christmas will be good. My mom instantly picks up on my uneasiness though as she parts from the boys to stand next to me.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

I sigh, watching my boys cook, "this Christmas isn't going to be the same without her."

"It's one Christmas, Savannah will come next year and every year after." My mom tries to reassure.

I roll my eyes, "that is if the divorce is finalized by next year. This could go on awhile." I say, dread and sickness consuming my body.

"You alright? You don't look so good." My mom asks as I rub my temples.

"Can I get a cup of coffee?" I ask, trying to console myself from my onset headache that is creeping in.

My mom instantly pours me a cup, adding my favorite fixings that Rhea had to teach her how to make. The thought makes me miss her even more, I don't know how I'm going to make it though this holiday.

"Are you prepared for Ethan to come home tonight?" My mom whispers to me as she hands me the mug.

I shake my head, dreading the thought. I'm staying in the guest bedroom until his parents come, but once they arrive, we have to put on our best show. I have to act like everything is alright, meaning I have to sleep next to him like I don't know about his affair or that I have paper work in my dresser that's going to start our divorce process. Neither him or I want to deal with his parents and their coldness, so it's just better this way until the holidays pass.