Ethereal {WLW}

Chapter Fourty-Four: Can We Turn Back Time?

Cami's POV:

It's been a week since Savannah and I had our spat. I understand her frustration, but she has no idea the ramifications that would have came with the decision to leave. It's not as easy as she claims it would be.

I sigh as I enter her room, seeing her bags packed to head off to collage again. I've got one more week with her and we can't even look each other in the eyes. 

Things were so much easier with Rhea here.

My heart stings as I think about her. I replay the moment she walked out that door over and over again. I wonder what I would have done differently if I could go back to that day and do it one last time. I should have fought for her.

My heart longs for her. I just want one more kiss, one more hug, one more 'I love you'. Even if she doesn't mean it, I just want to hear it from her. It's never sounded so right as when the words came from her mouth.

It wasn't easy to let her go. I shouldn't have just let her walk out that door, but what was I to do? I thought I was doing the right thing by letting her go. I needed my kids and I don't regret picking them over her, but I don't think making the right decision should make you feel like you're dying.

Ethan got in my head and played on my insecurities. He kicked her out and I wonder what he said, or how he skewed her perception of me in the end. I wonder if she still knows I love her?

I fear too much time has passed. What if she already found someone new? What if she really wasn't in love? I hate my brain for it's constant overthinking, but I have so much free time up there.

My heart hurts like it's never hurt before and everyone can tell. Naomi has been trying to talk to me for days and I've managed to dodge her for the most part as I've kept myself locked up in Rhea's room, calling into work so I can wallow in Rhea's sheets; sheets that are slowly losing her scent and comfort.

I take a deep breath, keeping my tears at bay as I bend down to pick up Savannah's stuffed bear, holding him close to my chest. I feel like I'm failing as a parent. My kids are also hurt because of my decision to get involved with Rhea. I wasn't the only one who fell in love with her.

Graham quit soccer after Rhea left, which worked out for the both of us. I couldn't stand seeing Alex after finding out what she did and that field was a constant reminder of Rhea.

Graham keeps practicing guitar, despite Rhea being gone. I think it makes him feel close to her. He also hasn't taken her necklace off, which she'd stroke out if she knew he was sleeping with it on every night.

I smile as I think back to that drunken night and how careful she was with me. It hurts my heart to think about the past, but those moments were the happiest I'd ever been.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek as the doorbell rings. It snaps me out of my depression as I wipe the sadness from my eyes, gently placing the stuffed animal on Savannah's bags before heading down stairs.

I walk over to the door, opening it to see Sienna outside of it.

"Oh, hey Cami. I know Savannah isn't home right now, but we had plans today and I'm early." She says awkwardly.

I force a smile as I open my door more to let her in.

Sienna smiles softly as she enters the house and makes her way to the kitchen. There's an awkward silence that lingers in the room as we enter. I haven't had guests over since Rhea left and I'm really not in the mood to entertain.

"Hungry?" I ask.

"Sure." Sienna says as she leans against my kitchen island.

I pull out the supplies to make a sandwich while I feel Sienna's eyes on me. I know she has questions, everyone does.