Paradise Lost [Tokyo Revengers]

Chapter 124

I've received requests for a happy ending so here it is...  

Chapter 124: 

I couldn't go through with my initial plan for April 15, seeing Mikey and Shinichiro in Shibuya really got to me, I haven't stopped thinking about them. To be honest, I wasn't really sure how I felt, I wasn't sure if I was extremely happy or severely depressed with this outcome,

I was no doubt happy that the reset worked, the fact that Shinichiro was alive meant that everyone else was too. But the sad part was I won't be a part of them anymore, I am completely alone. The moment I saw the last vision I knew that I will lose everyone; no one is going to remember who I was. I knew all of that but I just couldn't help but feel extremely sad about it.

I wish I lost my memories too, maybe I could live peacefully if I did.

Overthinking couldn't be helped either, I can't stop thinking about how happy they are without me. It was selfish of me to feel frustrated that they were all happy living their lives together, I can't help it, I'm extremely jealous.

I don't know how many times I cried over the thought of Mikey loving someone else and I can't do anything about it, just thinking about Mikey smiling because someone else was making him happy is upsetting, but how can I be angry? I don't have any right to be,

I want to be happy for them, I really do. But I want to be happy with them too. It's that so wrong?

"I guess this is the price I had to pay for what I did," I mumbled to myself as I stared at the half-ripped calendar with the dates crossed out hanging on my bedroom wall, "I can't believe I chickened out, pathetic as always, Akaza,"

I let out a heavy sigh and got up from my bed, I then headed to the bathroom to freshen up and get on with my day. 

It was the same old routine for the past few months, wake up sad, go to school sad, go home sad, then go to sleep sad. It was getting too redundant, it feels like my youth is being wasted.

I can't continue living like this...

I should have just ended everything yesterday,

[Mikey's POV]

"Oi Mikey, you've been spacing out since yesterday," Ken-chin angrily scolded me, I quickly turned my attention towards him and gave him a questioning look, I guess I haven't really noticed I was. "Did something happen yesterday?"

Me, Ken-chin, Mitsuya, Pah-chin, Takemitchy, and the rest were at Shinichiro's shop talking about Toman's final meeting, we decided to disband soon but we can't start the meeting yet because Baji and Kazutora are late. Don't get me wrong, I am proud of our accomplishments, we have gone through so many challenges to get to where we are now, especially Takemitchy, but it's about time we move on from the past, we have to look forward to the future, we've already accomplished our dreams, now it's time to start a new one.

But somehow I feel like something is not right, I've always felt this way ever since we leaped back for the final time. I just never gave it much thought until just recently,

It feels like I'm missing something,

"Ken-chin, do you know a short girl with long black hair and blue eyes," I questioned, Ken-chin just raised his eyebrow at me."This girl called out to me yesterday, the way she looked at me seemed like she knew me,"

"I don't know anyone who looks like that," He stated, "She must be a fan of yours or something, just ignore it," Maybe he's right, maybe I'm overthinking things, I don't know a lot of girls so if we were acquainted I'm sure I'd remember her.