𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐋𝐘 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒 - 𝐃.𝐌.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 121

1 week later.

I found the courage to come out of my room when Savanna's headstone was made.

I've grown closer to Blaise then I've ever been. He understands. He knew Savanna almost the same way I did. We can't stop crying when we're together, which is a lot after what happened. When I'm alone it's worse, because I was never alone when she was walking this Earth. She was always by my side for me to love.

I haven't eaten in a while. I only like eating when I eat with Savanna. I haven't slept in a while, I only like sleeping when I sleep with Savanna next to me.

I haven't seen Hiraeth at all. I feel like it's better this way, at least for the time being.

Savanna is buried just a short walk from the manor, and there's flower shop nearby.

I walk to it, dressed to the best of my ability.

When I enter, i'm a little overwhelmed. The flowers are over the top. I don't see anything like what i'm looking for.

I go to the old woman at the front desk to see if they would have anything a little less crazy.

"How can I help you young man?" she asks.

"Do you have anything a little more simple? Red roses? Maybe white?"

She furrows her eyebrows at my question. I guess no one asks for anything like this around here.

She goes into the back room. She takes a couple minutes and comes back with a bouquet. "We actually have these. This is about as simple as they get."

It's a bouquet of red and white roses. It's beautiful, and it's perfect.

"Can I actually get another one of these?" I ask.

She nods and grabs another one.

While i'm paying, she asks me, "Who are the flowers for?"

I answer hesitantly. "My wife."

"Ah. Not that many men come in here buying flowers for their wives. Doesn't really happen anymore. They should be more like you." she says.

I nod. "I agree."

Once i'm done paying, she hands me the two bouquets. "I hope your wife loves them."

I fake a smile and walk out of the shop.

I arrive at Savanna's grave, placing one of the bouquets in the middle, just in front of her headstone.

Savanna Charity Malfoy
Beloved Mother & Wife
November 7, 1980 — November 7, 1997
Forever in our hearts

I look to the left of Savanna's headstone, and see my own, already prepared. I chose that I wanted to be right next to her when it's my turn.

I turn back to Savanna's. "These are for you my darling. I hope you love them." I wipe away my tears. "And don't worry, I got a second bouquet for me, that way i'll know exactly when to get you more."

I hate that her voice can't respond to my own anymore. Her voice was always so soft. It sounded like the most calming and timeless voice i've ever heard.

"I have to go back to school once the castle is repaired. It'll be a while, but I know it'll be hard for me to go back there without you. All of my memories have you in them."

The tears return and roll down my cheeks. I don't make an effort to stop them, I haven't been able to anyways.

"I'm sorry for the way I hurt you before. Who knows what could've happened if we hadn't been fighting. It was all my fault. I fell for you for the wrong reasons at first. I'll never forgive myself for that." I admit. "Now that you're gone, I wish the time could've gone slower. I would give anything to have more time with you. You made everyday of my life feel like an adventure. A beautiful adventure. When I was with you, I figured out stuff that I didn't think was possible.
I didn't think I could feel something for a girl other than hatred. But when I first kissed you in your bedroom that night, I felt sparks run through my viens. Your lips fit perfectly to mine. I didn't want to stop, because that feeling was like something I had never felt before. I craved it, and it made me crazy. The more I kissed you, the more complete I felt. That last time I kissed you, I could feel every ounce of that wholeness draining out of my body. Now I feel empty all over again. I need help. Come and kiss me again, darling. I promise i'll make it worth it."

I drop my head to the grass beside her headstone. I thought talking to her would help, or at least help me move on. But it doesn't help at all. It's only making me more upset that she can't respond. And saying all these thoughts out loud mean a lot more than just thinking them in my head. I needed to let go of them.

"I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know how i'm still alive right now. I cry and sob in my bed every night thinking about how you're not in it, and how you'll never be in it again. It's at night when I get the most upset. I think it's because I don't have any distractions from my own thoughts."

I put my face in my hands. "I need to go, my love."

I stand and pick up my bouquet to take with me. "I'll be back later. I love you darling, more than words can say."