Complications Throughout Generations

Chapter 189

Eren's POV:

"Hey," I whispered, looking down at Levi. "First, I just...I just wanna say I'm sorry. I was drunk and stupid and...apparently I made out with Jean at Historia's party. But nothing else, I promise...not that it makes it any better. Fuck, Levi." I ran my fingers through my hair, tilting my head back. "I'm such an idiot, I know. But I just thought I could go to this party and let loose because I'm so stressed out. It's just so much. I mean, my parents are getting divorced and I feel like it's my fault...it's definitely my fault, you're here when you should be fucking home, basketball is a big commitment, and now Christmas is right around the corner. It just never ends." I sat down and kissed his hand somewhat hoping maybe I could have another moment where I see the future again. But this world can be so different sometimes. This is one of those situations where I wish I had some of those old Titan abilities. I have a theory that Levi's Ackerman blood is what kept him alive. With the amount of damage he did to himself, he really shouldn't of made it. "I'm beginning to accept that the fact that you won't be home for Christmas. But don't worry, when you wake up, you'll still get presents from me. You know I'll still come to visit you. Being with you on Christmas is my main priority. You're always my main priority. I know sometimes it didn't seem like it but I'll always try. I miss you every day. I love you so so much, Levi." I kissed his head, the same as I do when I'm about to leave.

I try not to cry but my emotions always get the best of me when I get to my car. I rested my head on my steering wheel and just let the tears fall but I stayed quiet. As the days go by, I feel completely numb. Sad, lonely, and numb. I try to be around my friends as much as possible so I don't feel as alone but that feeling eats away at me the second I'm by myself in that room. One of the main reasons my dad and I have stayed at the Ackerman's is because I don't have to leave Levi's room. That's the main connection with him when he's not here with me. I don't want to leave it. But we've talked about going back home after Christmas. We have to eventually.

Best thing for me to do is not be alone. That's all I can keep telling myself. I took out my phone and texted Jean.

Eren - I'm coming over

Jean - You okay?

Eren - I just left the hospital

Jean - Okay

Jean - So not good

Jean - Just come in my room when you get here

And with that, I was on my way. I was flipping through my music, unable to find a song. That was until Golden Slumbers by The Beatles came on.

"Oh come on, man," I groaned, feeling the tears welling up again. I couldn't help but remember that time Levi and I took a drive and I showed him The Beatles for the first time.

"So you'd say you're a Beatles fan now?" I felt him nod on the side of my head. I took us towards the water but far enough so it wouldn't touch him. He tapped me, signaling me to put him down. He stood next to me and held my hand, staring out at the ocean. "What would you say your favorites were?"

"Hey Jude and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely...whatever the rest of it is. But you wanna know something? I think Live and Let Die and Jet were the best ones you played."

"Better than Hey Jude?"

"I'd say it's just as good as them actually. The na na's get you."

"They do indeed." He kept looking at the ocean but I was looking at him. "Why did you want to come here?"

"Replacing a memory."

"Any reason?"

"The second you saw the ocean is when it was nearly set in stone that you were going to leave. Now either you're going to leave or you're going to stay."