Complications Throughout Generations

Chapter 146

Eren's POV:

30 minutes earlier

"Hey," Mikasa sighed, closing the door and leaning against it. "Are you okay?"

"Are you?" She shook her head. "Me neither." She sat next to me on the bed and put her head on my shoulder. It was one of those moments where we felt like best friends rather than exes because lately that's how it's been. I put my arm around her, holding her closer; each other's support is what we need.

"This isn't your fault, Eren."

"You don't think so?"

"Don't tell me you think so. Levi isn't always right, you know; and you need to stop listening to everything he says and believing it just because you love him. You'd probably believe the Earth was flat if he told you."

"That's not true."

"Eren, don't you think he's gaslighting you?"

"He's just upset, I understand."

"So are you. You were there too that night."

"Yeah but-"

"Your pain is just as valid as his. You're not allowing yourself to believe that because he's making you think this is your fault. You know it's not."

"It's messing with my fucking head." I whispered, looking at my hand in my lap. I stared at my bruised knuckles, hating myself for what I had been putting myself through for so long. "I feel like I'm literally split in half."

"Clearly he does too since one second he wants to blame it on you because he's in denial and then the next he knows it's his fault for not listening to you." I wish I could understand where Levi's head is at. I know this is hard but it's hard for everyone, not just him. Now he's taking it out on the closest people he has left and he's trying to be alone but that's the worst thing he could do. He needs his sisters and I wish he could say he needs me but clearly he's putting all of his energy in pushing me away too. "I don't think you two will be broken up for too long. He'll come around eventually."

"I don't think so." Levi isn't one to say things he doesn't mean regardless of how angry or emotional he is. When we were at that police station, I knew he meant every single word he had said to me. "You should've heard him that night when he broke up with me."

"Oh please, what did he say?"

"Well," I smiled because she has absolutely no idea just how bad it was, "for starters, he told me he hated me. He said that it doesn't matter what lifetime we're in, I'll always be a monster that ruins people's lives. Accused me of creating this before the reincarnation. Told me never to talk to him again. Basically told me to find someone else and that we'd never, ever get back together. Oh, he also said he doesn't care if I died. Then said I deserve nothing and that I'm shit to him. So yeah, it was pretty rough." Just repeating the list off made me sick to my stomach. It's still engrained in my brain entirely and I can't imagine when it'll ever leave. I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't thought twice about it. I wouldn't blame him either, Kuchel has taken a huge toll on everyone, especially him. After all, that was his real mom. But I've been suffering with the pain losing her and losing Levi at the same time and both have caused me to stop eating and stop sleeping just as Levi has.

"God, he's such an asshole." She scoffed.

"I'll wait."

"I know you will." Suddenly, there was screaming from the other room. Levi's room. I shot up from the bed and went towards the door. "Good luck." I rushed into his room to find him in his bathroom trying to take a blade out of a razor. I immediately grabbed it then picked him up and watched as the razor fell onto the tile floor.