Chapter 156

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Eren's POV:

I let myself in at Levi's house and the first thing I noticed was all the girls in the living room. Mikasa sleeping on Annie's shoulder, Sasha was eating ice cream, and Hange was just on her phone.

"Hey," I waved.

Everyone said their quiet hellos as I went upstairs. I kept my hand on the door handle for a second before opening it. He had the lamp on to read his current book while wearing his glasses. We didn't say a word to each other. Something's definitely wrong. I leaned against the dresser and looked at him, staring at his noticeably thinner arms and smaller wrists. His cheeks were more caved in than before. There have been so many times where I just want to scream at him and tell him to start eating like a normal person. But I've been nothing but patient with him and I just encourage him little by little so I don't overwhelm him. But saying anything just makes it worse. But then I feel like if I don't try and help him, I'll feel completely useless and enabling this.

"Stop staring." He didn't look up from his book but I'm sure he felt my eyes on him.

"Sorry." I mumbled and looked down at the ground. Shit, I forgot his tea. Maybe I am useless. "I'll be right back. Forgot your-"

"Yeah." He interrupted. This isn't anything new. But I'm just really not in the mood for it. It always feels the worst when I have a great time with our friends and then I end my night with this.

I went downstairs and did the same process as I do every night. But then I dropped one of his mugs and it shattered on the ground. Great.

Hange immediately rushed over to me and instead of caring about to mug, she asked if I was okay. I just shook my head.

"He's gonna kill me, Hange," I stressed. "I don't know if I did anything or what but he's been so...I can't even explain it. I don't want to call him an asshole but there's no other way to put it."

"I swear," she leaned down and started picking up the pieces. I was about to help but she already had it all in her hands, "he doesn't deserve you, Eren."

"He's just going through a hard time, I get it." I tried to defend him but it doesn't make it right.

"Stop making excuses for him. Say something."

"I can't. He'll probably just tell me to leave."

"If he does, don't."

"Typically I would stay but things are different. He's different...we're...we're very different."

"I see."

"What do I even tell him about this?" I pointed at the bunch of piece Hange just threw away. "He's going to freak out."

"Just save it till the morning and I'll say I did it. It's no big deal."

"I feel bad for lying."

"It's okay, Eren. He'll survive."

She got his tea together in another mug of his and handed it over to me.

"He's going to ask why I'm giving him a different mug. This is about to throw him off so bad." I was anxious. I just knew the outcome of all of this would be anything but good.

"Still, blame it on me." I just nodded, feeling terrible. But I went back to his room with his tea and a different mug. When I opened the door, he was still reading his book. I put it on his coaster and his eyes widened as they followed my hand. Yup, it's the mug.

"What's with the different mug?" I knew he would question it immediately. It's the OCD. Which made me feel even worse knowing that this was a part of him that he couldn't help regardless if we're happy together or not.

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