chapter 60

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I groan frustrated, throwing my spare phone onto the floor as derek doesn't answer again. We haven't talked in literally two weeks. In school he avoids me and he won't answer my calls.

I go downstairs. "Mom, I need to go out" I say. "Nope, you're grounded" she says. "Derek hasn't spoken to me in two weeks.. I need to speak to him.. please" I say. "No" she says firmly.

"Mom please" I tear up. She looks into my eyes. "I mean it meredith.. no!" She says. "But-" I say. "Upstairs!" She yells. I sniffle, running upstairs. I climb under the covers in my bed and cry quietly into my pillow.

Derek's pov:
I put down my pen ontop of my study books and go downstairs. "Mom can I go out for a bit? I need to go to mark's to pick something up for our project" I ask. "No" she says.

"Mom, it's for school" I say. "Derek it's 10pm.. I dont want you driving about at this time" she says. "I- okay" I sigh.

I walk to the kitchen counter, sitting opposite her. "How's the baby?" I ask. "Good" she smiles. "Are you still mad at me?" I ask. "No sweetheart, I told you I'm not" she says.

"I'm sorry" I say. "Derek, you've apologised everyday for two weeks.. its okay" she chuckles softly. "But I stressed you out.. that increases chance of miscarriage.. I couldve killed my baby sister" I say.

"Derek don't be ridiculous.. its okay, I'm a little disappointed that you'd sneak off with meredith instead of go to class but I'm over it" she says. "Okay" I say.

She looks at me. "What?" I ask, looking down. "I didn't see you come downstairs earlier.. have you taken your pills today?" She asks. "Uh.. no, I forgot" I shake my head.

"Honey, you can't forget that" she sighs, standing up. She grabs my antidepressants from the kitchen cabinet. She passes me them aswell as a glass of water. I take it.

"You have been taking them, haven't you?" She asks. I nod. "You've been acting a little off lately.. are you sure?" She asks. "I don't know if they're working well, honestly" I sigh.

"What? Derek that's serious.. you shouldve told me.. you want to go to the doctors? Maybe they can check it out for you or something" she says. "Its fine" I shake my head.

"I'm going to book you an appointment" she says. "Okay" I sigh. "Have you talked to meredith.. about your anxiety and depression?" She asks hesitantly.

"She knows.. but I- I haven't spoken to her since we left her house two weeks ago" I look down. "You haven't?" She asks. I shake my head.

"Why not?" She asks. "I just- I needed a break.. everytime I'm with her, it feels like I'm getting into trouble" I say. "I told you im not mad at you" she says.

"I know.. I also- I just-" I stop. "What?" She asks. "I think.. my mental health is getting worse, and I don't want her to see me like this" I say nervously.

"Meredith doesn't seem the type of person to judge you for that" she says. "No, she isn't" I say.

She looks into my eyes. "Go and pick the things you need up from mark's house.. stop at merediths on the way.. do not let her parents see you" she says. I smile. "Thanks mom" I kiss her head. She smiles.

I get changed quickly, grab my car keys and leave. I drive to mark's, pick up a few books and go to merediths. I park a street down and walk the rest of the way to her house so her parents won't see.

I climb up to her window. I'm about to knock on the window when I see her and lexie in her room. Lexies sat infront of meredith, talking to her. Mer looks upset. She's crying.

I sigh. I decide not to knock. I climb back down and walk back to my car. I get in and drive home. I walk into my house, going to the kitchen.

"So?" My Mom asks. "I didn't go to her house" I shrug. She sighs. I just can't. "I think I'm going to sleep" I say. "Okay" she says. "Goodnight" I say. "Night sweetheart" she says.

I say night to my sisters and my dad before going upstairs. I climb into bed. I sigh, looking up at the ceiling. What the hell is wrong with me?

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