Chapter 124- 911 What's Your Emergency? (Dave And Cookie)
A/N
Here's another random joke. This one isn't that funny.
Cookie: Oh go get a life Dave!
Dave: Can't.
Cookie: Oh yeah! And why is that!?
Dave: Amazon's out of stock.
Cookie: ......
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Sesame Street Person: DAVE! YOU GOTTA HELP US!
Dave: Excuse me what?
Sesame Street Person: PLEASE DAVE YOU GOTTA HELP ME!
Dave: Help you with what?
Sesame Street: IT'S LIZZY!
Sesame Street: SHE GOT HIT BY A CAR!
Dave: .....
Dave: Who's Lizzy?
Sesame Street Person: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO'S LIZZY!? IT'S THE PERSON WHO'S SUPER SMART!
Dave: Oh Lizzy!
Dave: And who are you again?
Sesame Street Person: IT'S ME! COOKIE!
Dave: I don't know anyone named Cookie.
Sesame Street Person: Ugh!
Sesame Street Person: It's Collins!
Dave: Oh. It's you.
Dave: So Lizzy was run over by a car?
Sesame Street Person: NO! SHE WAS SHOT!
Dave: Okay, third question.
Dave: Get ready cuz it's a doozie.
Dave: Why should I care?
Sesame Street Person: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY SHOULD YOU CARE! A PERSON GOT SHOT!
Dave: I dunno. Sounds like a regular Tuesday for me.
Sesame Street Person: JUST PLEASE HELP!
Dave: Why the f**k are you asking me for help!
Dave: If someone got shot, call 911 dipsh*t!
Sesame Street Person: I CAN'T!
Dave: And why not?
Sesame Street Person: Um...
Sesame Street Person: I DON'T HAVE MY PHONE!
Dave: You don't have the phone you are texting me with RIGHT NOW?
Sesame Street Person: I'M TEXTING YOU WITH MY IPAD!
Dave: The very same iPad you claimed to have broken TWO DAYS AGO?
Sesame Street Person: Um. I'm using someone else's phone?
Dave: Yeah, someone else's phone. Sure.
Dave: If it's someone else's phone, how come it's YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
Sesame Street Person: Because...
Dave: Yes? Go on.
Sesame Street Person: Just Because!
Dave: Okay. Yeah. This is a prank.
Sesame Street Person: What! Nooooo!
Sesame Street Person: It's totes for real!
Dave: Okay, Cookie, your horrible at pew king.
Dave: A. Lizzy means a lot to you and you would call 911 first.
Dave: B. I am probably the last person you would come to for help.
Dave: C. You do not trust me.
Dave: D. You said um too many times.
Dave: E. You first said Lizzy was hit by a car, and then said she was shot which is a glaring contradiction.
Dave: F. The whole phone part was just bad.
Dave: G. You suck at acting.
Dave: And H. You suck in general.
Cookie: A. Screw you.
Cookie: B. Screw you.
Cookie: C. Screw you.
Cookie: D. Screw you.
Cookie: E. Screw you.
Cookie: F. Screw you.
Cookie: G. Screw you.
Cookie: And H. Screw you.
Cookie: I really thought I could get you!
Dave: Well, you might want to find someone who actually has talent before trying to pull another prank next time.
Cookie: DUDE WHAT THE FU-
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Dave's P.O.V.
I close my phone. Perfect. And even better. There was no beginning P.O.V. Which means there is no ending P.O.V. to torture me. Then again. I wouldn't be having this inner monologue if there was no end P.O.V. F**K! It's gonna happen any second now. Isn't it?
"MOM! DAVE GOT A TEXT MESSAGE SAYING THAT HIS FRIEND WAS DYING AND HE REFUSED TO HELP!" Deliah yells. I snap my fingers. Bingo. I'm not even gonna bother to mention the fact that it was a horribly executed prank. It's hopeless. It'll just whiz through one ear and out the other. Now I just need to wait for-
"HE WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!" My mom yells. I hear her start to stomp down the stairs. Yep, there it us. Welp. Might as well just say it and end this chapter. Sigh. OH MOTHER FU-
Question Of The Day!
What do you think are the full names of all the Daycare characters?
Example:
Tina Marie Tiger
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Ryguyrocky Texting Stories
FanfictionThis is NOT my story I'm publishing this for a friend who can't get a Wattpad account. Enjoy!
