ROADTRIP || ships and shit (oneshots)

RYE + ??? || I thought you weren't coming back

|| I thought you weren't coming back ||

all will be revealed near the end ;)

AND SORRY THIS IS A TAD LATE...

don't worry detention will be out next...

Rye -

This was not the day to be feeling like this. Today we had many hours in the studio, and then later on we were going to film some parts of the new cover. It was a busy day and everyone is stressed. So, today is not the day to start feeling like this. I cant talk to the other boys, as they all so busy and stressed, I mean I am too but I also feel very, very clingy.

I just want to hold someone, or for someone to hold me. I need physical contact with someone, I crave it. I can literally feel the want radiating off my arms, wanting to grab onto every person that passes me. But I can't as they would get annoyed or just push me off. I feel so empty, I need some one anyone.

I don't think any of the others had realized I was struggling, forcing myself to move from my spot. I sit on the small sofa in the studio, trying to focus on something other than the need to touch someone. I try to focus on the two boys sitting by the recording equipment. Charlie facing away from me the most, whilst andy sits slightly to the side, facing the other male.

I try to focus on Andy's concentrated face, as he rubs it as he listens to the track. I look up to his hair, there's not much to see as the white hat he wears to hold back his blonde locks is covering his head. And I somehow end up, almost lifting my hand up to taking the hat off and thread my hands through it. Luckily enough I realise what I am doing and stop.

So, I try to focus on something else, anything else to take my mind of doing something I will regret. Then I look round to the others as well, all them look so inviting to cuddle and hold, yet I try my hardest not to. Mikey sitting comfortably in a chair, looking through his phone. I look down at Brook, he is sitting against the side of the sofa, with Jack's head on his lap, both as well looking through their phones. I had my hand placed next to my leg on the sofa, and it was so close to Brook's head. If I move only few more centimetres forward, I would have my finger through his hair. But again I force myself not to move.

It is slightly killing me that I cant have what I want. The forceful need to hold someone is suffocating me. So, I force my self off the couch and head to the door, seeing if I could just get some air. Someone had called my name, or a question that was for me but it sound muffled as I somehow felt slightly dizzy. And I kept walking towards the door, my heart beating in my ears as my hand reaches for the door handle, my vision slightly goes blurry and I turn the handle, swaying a bit as I open the door, cool air instantly hitting my now hot face.

Luckily, we had English weather so there was a cold breeze, and I could still hear muffles, but ignore them as I start to loose my breath, the cold air not really helping. I step out, further away from the inside, away from the muffled voices. I look round and everything seemed to be a blur, I could barely see. But what I could muster up was a red bricked wall. I heavily walk over to it, slowly lifting my hands onto it, flat hands against the rough surface and I try to slow my rapid heart beat.

My heart was still screaming in my ears and I could just about hear footsteps stopping next to me, a figure standing there probably worried or scared. I myself was slightly scared as I did not know what was happening. I keep trying to breathe, with my eyes closed, but it felt like someone was blocking my airways, stopping any oxygen from reaching my lungs. My chest rising and falling heavily, my fingers slightly curl into the wall trying to grab onto something.

I suddenly felt a small hand placed on my shoulder, they slowly spun me round, placing there hands on each side of my face, I still had my eyes closed, not knowing who it was. But the touch was slightly familiar, and so delicate. Almost feather like. I lightly melted into it as my breath started to come back to me, but not fully. "Rye." It was almost a whisper. The thumb from the hand started to swipe my face, and I felt moisture on my cheeks, I guess at some point I had started to shed tears. "Come on Rye, open your eyes." I wanted to so badly to open them, but they felt so heavy.